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I need help

Old 08-19-2011, 04:39 PM
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Its_me_jen
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I need help

I'm freaking out.

My fiance was just picked up on a warrant for unpaid child support. We knew it was out there and he was making plans to take care of it. He's been sober now for close to 2 years and is in school. Trying to get his life together so he can take care his responsibilities.

I have no idea what to do. I know nothing about this stuff. I'm scared. To top it off, I just found out yesterday that I'm pregnant. Why is this happening now?!
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Old 08-19-2011, 04:43 PM
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I did talk to some AA friends and my sponsor. I know all I can do is wait right now. It being a Friday night. Nothing will happen until monday. But I'm crawling out of my skin.
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Old 08-19-2011, 04:49 PM
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Congrats on the Baby news!!!

This book helped me through some really rough times. Here's a reading that might help. I dunno. Hang in there. Serenity Prayer and keep close here. You'll be in my thoughts.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie.

Peace

Anxiety is often our first reaction to conflict, problems, or even our own fears. In those moments, detaching and getting peaceful may seem disloyal or apathetic. We think: If I really care, I'll worry; if this is really important to me, I must stay upset. We convince ourselves that outcomes will be positively affected by the amount of time we spend worrying.

Our best problem-solving resource is peace. Solutions arise easily and naturally out of a peaceful state. Often, fear and anxiety block solutions. Anxiety gives power to the problem, not the solution. It does not help to harbor turmoil. It does not help.

Peace is available if we choose it. In spite of chaos and unsolved problems around us, all is well. Things will work out. We can surround ourselves with the resources of the Universe: water, earth, a sunset, a walk, a prayer, a friend. We can relax and let ourselves feel peace.

Today, I will let go of my need to stay in turmoil. I will cultivate peace and trust that timely solutions and goodness will arise naturally and harmoniously out of the wellspring of peace. I will consciously let go and let God.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher.
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Old 08-19-2011, 04:57 PM
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oh congrats on the baby news J

I don't know anything but warrants or anything but I hope it will all get sorted out

D
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:04 PM
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Everything will be ok. Eat well and relax. If you have a recovery program, work it. If you feel lonely, find an aa meeting, others there will help you, you don't have to join, just don't be alone.

I have witnessed miracles in a court room when sober people have life situations to solve.

Congrats on the baby. Relax! Prayers sent to you
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:10 PM
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He will be fine

He will see the judge, and depending on amount, will have to pay a certain amount within a certain time, and keep up with payments.

Also will most likely get a free court appointed lawyer.

There isn't enough room in jail for everyone
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:13 PM
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I can't stand not being able to do anything right now.
We've both been very excited about the pregnancy but right now I'm just scared sh!tless.
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:19 PM
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I hope the situation gets sorted out soon.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:26 PM
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Time to talk to your Higher Power. Always works...
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:33 PM
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I don't know if I can do this.
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:38 PM
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I think bellakella's post was fantastic, I used to think if I didn't worry/fret about a problem then I wasn't showing enough care!!! I wish I had read those words years ago I still haven't come to grips with it.
Now is the time to work the steps and put into practice what you have learnt. The Serenity Prayer would be a good mantra to start with.
The best to you and your baby
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:39 PM
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you can do it!! I know it sucks not having it solved "right now", it's waiting that's hardest for sure. BUT I also know any judge will see he is clean, staying that way, in school, and trying to get his life in order and will most likely def. be in his favor.

Congrats on your pregnancy!!!
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:39 PM
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You're pregnant, you CAN do this AND stay sober, at least for the baby! I taught special needs children, drink orange juice. Folic acid increases intelligence, reduces brain dysfunctions or likelihood of brain injury in babies.

Do you have someone in your aa network to call, other than your sponsor??
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:41 PM
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Its_me_jen
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I have others I can call. I just don't know what to say. My sponsor is going to call me a little later.

Luckily, I have no desire to drink. None.
I just don't know if I can deal with this fear and hopelessness.
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:43 PM
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Take a warm bath... I rented Arthur to watch. Distract yourself, read..
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:45 PM
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:52 PM
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Just chit chat about anything. Let go of this topic, again, distract your mind. Your anxiety effects your entire body. Everything will work out. Write a letter to yourself or to the babe. Tell a story. Involve other parts of your brain. Accept things as is for just today. All is . Change is cnonstant.

I feel your anxiety. I'm also happy for you. Maybe even jealous. It's all okay. Breathe. Put on some favorite music.
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:53 PM
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Change is constant and sometimes cnonstant.
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Old 08-19-2011, 06:49 PM
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Its_me_jen
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I took a shower.
I'm going to a meeting even though I really don't want to. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight. What will I do tomorrow? Ugh.
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Old 08-19-2011, 07:02 PM
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Can you stay with a friend?
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