Happier

Hi all. Just passed 3 months again and it went pretty well. Feeling like I'm in a dangerous spot now though. Not sure why I always get back to where I think it can be different this time. Guess I need some reminders, encouragement or something ?? This site is my only source of support so I'm giving it a shot.
Hope you all are doing well. What do you do when you get to this point?

newwings

Hey, Happier, congrats on your three months sober! I found three months is where I needed to examine my life a bit and fill the empty parts.

Firstly, I started doing exercise again. I've just signed myself up for a 10k in November. I hate running, but it's good for me - especially pushing through that lethargy that can creep in and can cause you to question the point of being sober. I find that when I say to myself, 'I don't want to do it...' once I get started I feel so much better. It's flexing those mental 'can't be bothered' muscles that keep me focussed on my sobriety for the coming day.

I also starting doing some art again - and I'm finding I'm much better than when I was drinking. Find something you used to do, and enjoy, and think about how it was affected by your drinking/using. Would you like to take it up again? Is there something new you've always wanted to try? Boredom and lack of challenges is very dangerous for someone newly sober. I try not to ever get to that point.

I'm sure a lot of people will suggest AA to you, and if you feel it would be useful to you then how about giving it a shot? Whatever it takes, I hope you find something that brings you joy.

SomethingBetter

3 months was a weak point for me too, (Congrats!) I relapsed at 86 days the last time I relapsed, that was in 06.

I think our past can teach us a lot about our future, getting though those hard times are the tough parts, tomorrow is 6 months for me, I am not having the best day, actually about a week of this but I am sticking it out because I know it gets better, drinking again will not be any different except for the added problems ‘this time’ creates.

Just know you’re not alone, it’s Friday night, I’m not going to drink but I sure aint going anywhere there’s drinking going on, I’ll probably be in the forums a lot this weekend.

grayduchess

I'm a newborn in this so here's hoping I don't "open mouth, insert entire leg"!

Happier, could you tell me some of the things you've done in the past that helped you re-focus and replenish? Something that suits your interests or style?

bigguyslimm

At 6 months do you still have days you don't feel good? Like are there good days and bad days for you? And do you get anxiety?

Anna

I wonder what changes you've made in your life besides stopping drinking? I like the idea of exercise and hobbies, doing things that help you to feel good about yourself and your life.

sugarbear1

I'm writing my 4th step tomorrow. Sunday I'll discuss 5th step, with my "spiritual advisor" (sponsor). This will help me release pain, anxiety, etc and help me to grow up.

Shrugs. Can you find a hobby, or _______ what??

Reading?

SomethingBetter

Yea there are good days and bad days, I suspect every normal human has bad days, to me this used to mean getting extra drunk. The good days do eventually outweigh the bad days and the more times I beat this feeling the stronger I am. They’re getting a lot less but sure there still there for me at 6 months.

Getting sober for me didn’t mean everything was hunky-dory overnight, it was easier to stay sober when everything was going my way. The real work for me is when things are a little upside down.

I have learned that I don’t have to drink just because I am having bad days, I am a new person in comparison to when I drank, 6 months minus 1 day I was sitting right here at this desk drinking an 18 pack of beer alone, counting them until they were all gone, the night before was a 30 pack, it’s funny how I remember it all, I don’t want to forget, I left that hell behind and these few bad days are just fine, these bad days are actually a reminder that things do get better, drinking just means I have to go through all this again.

Remember Life’s a journey, in another 6 months, I bet it’s going to be even better!

CaiHong

Hi Happier,

I am 3 to 4 months or there about, what struck me in your post was, "that this forum is your only support", and as much as I love it and I rely on it, I do think for myself that I need to work on other aspects of my life to stay sober. For me, it is AA, next week I too, like sugarbear 1, will make an appointment with my hope to be sponsor to do my 4th step. It really isn't just stopping. There are a million things you could fill in your days with doing, I have tried that in the past but I could not do anything when all I was thinking of was a drink, those times I was operating on willpower alone not even the benefit of the recovery forum. I will give you an example yesterday I went on a mammoth clean, at the same time listening to recovery TV, in the past I would reward myself with a drink after I had finished a task successfully. The difference yesterday, no drinkies, the reward was the satisfaction of a job well done. Things I have put off for years are done with no apparent effort. Somthing is working for me and I am going to continue on with it, AA and the 12 steps
All the best
CaiHong

Happier

Thanks everyone for the good and helpful responses. Wife came home, I mowed the yard, we discussed our moving plans, etc. Daily chores and activities filled the evening so it went well. Even went out for an "ice-cream date" and McDonalds. That was fun. I remember when I would of had to ride while she drove when we used to do fun spur-of-the moment things. Much more fun and meaningful now.
Thanks again to everyone. Wishing you all the best and continued success.

Eddiebuckle

PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome) is the term that describes the healing process the body and brain in particular go through when no longer subjected to alcohol. The symptoms fade over time but can take up to 18 months for the brain to restore itself.

I really enjoyed reading Under the Influence - it was written in the 1980's but has a ton of information that helped me to understand what I was going through in early sobriety. Check it out, very cheap - $8 new in paperback.

bigguyslimm

I guess right now my biggest problem is feeling out of it or foggy they say, and I started getting bad anxiety and car sickness.