New to Recovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Colorado
Posts: 4
New to Recovery
Hi! I am new here, and new to recovery. I started going to AA meetings about a month ago...I had 14 days sober, and then freaked out and drank non-stop for 4 days, and then pulled myself back together. I've been sober for 15 days now, and while I had some of the best days I've had in a really long time last week, this week has been a real struggle.
I feel like I don't fit in anywhere in life, and that I have no purpose. I just feel lost and alone.
Thanks for "listening" and for being here!
I feel like I don't fit in anywhere in life, and that I have no purpose. I just feel lost and alone.
Thanks for "listening" and for being here!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Welcome to SR!!! I know, when I got into recovery, I didn't know who I was, what I liked (other than getting high) or what I wanted from life....lost.
I think most of us have felt that way in early recovery, and reaching out to others who are in recovery is a comfort. Glad you're here!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I think most of us have felt that way in early recovery, and reaching out to others who are in recovery is a comfort. Glad you're here!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Welcome to SR. Confusion is a natural part of early recovery. Going from alcoholic to sober person is quite a change in personhood. You may feel you have np purpose now but ask yourself what was your purpose being a drinker? As to being lost, maybe you're actually just finding your way. Alone? Hey, you got SR. There's plenty of sober people and support around if you look. My best to you.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
ANewDay - It's wonderful to have you here. I felt just like you when I first joined. I learned I wasn't alone anymore once I started sharing my feelings here. These people really understood me, & knew what I'd been through.
I spent my whole life getting numb, thinking I was making myself feel better. I couldn't imagine life without drinking - but in my heart I knew I wasn't really living or growing as a person. It takes awhile for us to heal, but the fog will begin to lift & the sun will come out again. Meanwhile, please keep talking to us - we care about you.
I spent my whole life getting numb, thinking I was making myself feel better. I couldn't imagine life without drinking - but in my heart I knew I wasn't really living or growing as a person. It takes awhile for us to heal, but the fog will begin to lift & the sun will come out again. Meanwhile, please keep talking to us - we care about you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Colorado
Posts: 4
Thank you all for your warm welcomes! I truly appreciate it.
Yes, I returned to the meetings after a week of sitting around at home, alone, being miserable. I do find the groups helpful, but sometimes I feel like I don't quite fit in. I tend to be very quiet and shy, and I take a while to open up and trust anyone. I don't talk much in the meetings (most days I don't say anything during a meeting, but will talk to some people after the meeting). I went out to dinner with a couple of women after the meeting last night, and just felt really alone and like I didn't fit in. They were wanting me to go to the bars and clubs with them, and were giving me a hard time when I said I don't want to and I don't feel comfortable not drinking in those settings right now. They don't drink...but, that's just not my scene while trying to be sober and create a new life! I don't want to drink, I don't dance, and I hate the drama in those settings. Anyway, I was just feeling left out and alone after that.
People have been very welcoming at the meetings for the most part, but I did have someone tell me that I might want to find a group that has "people my age." I hadn't said how old I was, so I don't know if he was assuming I was a teen, but it kind of made me feel like I didn't belong. I am 27, and yes, I am younger than the majority of the people that come to the group, but I honestly don't feel like I have a lot in common with people around my age...that's been a huge issue for me my whole life. Especially now that I am trying to get sober.
Wow, sorry for the rambling!! Thanks, again, to all of you for being so welcoming. I look forward to getting to know everyone.
Yes, I returned to the meetings after a week of sitting around at home, alone, being miserable. I do find the groups helpful, but sometimes I feel like I don't quite fit in. I tend to be very quiet and shy, and I take a while to open up and trust anyone. I don't talk much in the meetings (most days I don't say anything during a meeting, but will talk to some people after the meeting). I went out to dinner with a couple of women after the meeting last night, and just felt really alone and like I didn't fit in. They were wanting me to go to the bars and clubs with them, and were giving me a hard time when I said I don't want to and I don't feel comfortable not drinking in those settings right now. They don't drink...but, that's just not my scene while trying to be sober and create a new life! I don't want to drink, I don't dance, and I hate the drama in those settings. Anyway, I was just feeling left out and alone after that.
People have been very welcoming at the meetings for the most part, but I did have someone tell me that I might want to find a group that has "people my age." I hadn't said how old I was, so I don't know if he was assuming I was a teen, but it kind of made me feel like I didn't belong. I am 27, and yes, I am younger than the majority of the people that come to the group, but I honestly don't feel like I have a lot in common with people around my age...that's been a huge issue for me my whole life. Especially now that I am trying to get sober.
Wow, sorry for the rambling!! Thanks, again, to all of you for being so welcoming. I look forward to getting to know everyone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Singapore
Posts: 737
Originally Posted by ANewDay8 
Thank you all for your warm welcomes! I truly appreciate it.
Yes, I returned to the meetings after a week of sitting around at home, alone, being miserable. I do find the groups helpful, but sometimes I feel like I don't quite fit in. I tend to be very quiet and shy, and I take a while to open up and trust anyone. I don't talk much in the meetings (most days I don't say anything during a meeting, but will talk to some people after the meeting). I went out to dinner with a couple of women after the meeting last night, and just felt really alone and like I didn't fit in. They were wanting me to go to the bars and clubs with them, and were giving me a hard time when I said I don't want to and I don't feel comfortable not drinking in those settings right now. They don't drink...but, that's just not my scene while trying to be sober and create a new life! I don't want to drink, I don't dance, and I hate the drama in those settings. Anyway, I was just feeling left out and alone after that.
People have been very welcoming at the meetings for the most part, but I did have someone tell me that I might want to find a group that has "people my age." I hadn't said how old I was, so I don't know if he was assuming I was a teen, but it kind of made me feel like I didn't belong. I am 27, and yes, I am younger than the majority of the people that come to the group, but I honestly don't feel like I have a lot in common with people around my age...that's been a huge issue for me my whole life. Especially now that I am trying to get sober.
Wow, sorry for the rambling!! Thanks, again, to all of you for being so welcoming. I look forward to getting to know everyone.
Yes, I returned to the meetings after a week of sitting around at home, alone, being miserable. I do find the groups helpful, but sometimes I feel like I don't quite fit in. I tend to be very quiet and shy, and I take a while to open up and trust anyone. I don't talk much in the meetings (most days I don't say anything during a meeting, but will talk to some people after the meeting). I went out to dinner with a couple of women after the meeting last night, and just felt really alone and like I didn't fit in. They were wanting me to go to the bars and clubs with them, and were giving me a hard time when I said I don't want to and I don't feel comfortable not drinking in those settings right now. They don't drink...but, that's just not my scene while trying to be sober and create a new life! I don't want to drink, I don't dance, and I hate the drama in those settings. Anyway, I was just feeling left out and alone after that.
People have been very welcoming at the meetings for the most part, but I did have someone tell me that I might want to find a group that has "people my age." I hadn't said how old I was, so I don't know if he was assuming I was a teen, but it kind of made me feel like I didn't belong. I am 27, and yes, I am younger than the majority of the people that come to the group, but I honestly don't feel like I have a lot in common with people around my age...that's been a huge issue for me my whole life. Especially now that I am trying to get sober.
Wow, sorry for the rambling!! Thanks, again, to all of you for being so welcoming. I look forward to getting to know everyone.
Don't worry at all about fitting in. You are there to get what you need to stay sober. I'd highly suggest you get started on the step work. Find a sponsor (if you haven't already) and start the process. All that other stuff is neither here nor there - it's the step work that leads you to lasting sobriety. I am right there with you on being shy and not much for group experiences. Truth is you don't need to fit in, you just need to get and stay sober.
The meetings I attend (online) include every age group, ethnicity and disposition. So again, don't worry about fitting in, we're all there for the same reason. The important thing is you've recognized your issues with alcohol and you're moving in the right direction. Just keep plodding on, more will be revealed as you do.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome...
when i started working the AA Steps I shifted from shakey sobriety into solid recovery...
I do hope you will get back to AA and see what the Steps can do for you.
when i started working the AA Steps I shifted from shakey sobriety into solid recovery...
I do hope you will get back to AA and see what the Steps can do for you.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome ANewDay - I think you're doing great by going to meetings (can't believe anyone would suggest a bar/club -
) Geez.....
I met one of my best friends in AA - I think it just takes time. You'll find lots of friends here, I can tell you that!
) Geez..... I met one of my best friends in AA - I think it just takes time. You'll find lots of friends here, I can tell you that!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Welcome, I relate to the not fitting in anywhere. I think that was a lot of the reason that I drank. In fact most of my socailising involved booze that is why I am so glad I am a member of AA. I probably relate to only one or two members, the meetings are small and we are all expats but I find this is enough for me at the moment. It really is important to find someone in the meetings that you feel comfortable calling and talking about your feelings. I don't get to meetings much because of the distance, which I really regret. Keep going to meetings, go to as many different meetings as you can.
It really does get better, the worst thing you can do at the moment is spend a lot of time on your own.
Lots of Love
CaiHong
It really does get better, the worst thing you can do at the moment is spend a lot of time on your own.
Lots of Love
CaiHong
There are so many inspirational stories and messages here to help you get the life you want. 
Congrats on 14 days
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,928
Originally Posted by ANewDay8
They don't drink...but, ...
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