LIVEfastDIEdumb

I'm looking for a patient friend with some recovery behind them to help a girl out. I'm a drug addict, a garden variety drug addict, though i crashed and burned when Tweak was introduced into my life. And i mean, crashed and burnnnned. I lost everything, everyone, betrayed my friends and family, to the point of being publicly shunned. I have not gone through the steps, though i attend meetings, just for listening and guidance. I have not done the steps because i am too stubborn, i'l admit that, but for many reasons i'm still too uncomfortaboe with myself to do them. Call it an excuse, but i cant yet.

What i need is hopefully someone who understands what meth can do to people, n i nean reeeally understand, because i havent found anyone who seems to me does understand yet.
I am the freak of freaks, you could say. I would believe this myself until everything happened as it did.

I cant go into my life, because, and this is the truth, not a meth hallucination or something, but people knoww me, well they know of me, hearing only the worst and making judgements one that.

I can feel myself failing. I am failing, i need an anonymous friend i can hopefullyyyy call and unload, and hopefully find the answers i havent found from attending and monitering AA or going through rehabs.

Please only reply if serious, and understand that meth has done a lot of damage to me at a very young age that i've been left frantic, full of anxiety, and scared.

Thanks for listening/reading. If willing to help, please leave email so i can contact you in a proper manner to recieve your number, or even your email if thats all you feel comfortable with.

artsoul

Welcome to the forum - I think you'll find lots of understand and support here. Please check out the substance abuse section:Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Things really can get better, LiveFast...... I think we've all been in that scary place. :ghug3

Anna

Welcome!

We do understand what addiction does and how it robs us of our lives. You are not alone.

bri2u2002

Hi Welcome!,

I'm new to this site. I've been going through hell because of my addiction to painkillers. Lost everything. Unfortunately for addicts like us that is what it takes. I'm suffering terribly too. Hang tough. We can only go up. Get to AA/NA and start getting involved in the recovering community.

mayabee

It's my son who is the addict, and meth is his drug of choice. I mainly go to the Friends and Family of Substance Abusers forum, but I read other forums as well to help me understand about addiction. When I saw your post I wanted to reach out, even though I know I can't offer what you're looking for.

I can't speak from my own direct experience but just from seeing what my son has been through, I know what you mean when you say you crashed & burned. It happened to him as well - he's a kind-hearted gentle guy but when he was using he did stuff that was unbelievable & seemed so out of character for him. Stole from friends & family, said abusive, hurtful things, burned bridges with many people. He ended out of work, going to jail, had his driver's license suspended for a year - all kinds of bad stuff- but meth still has a hold on him. He's had clean time, then gone back out, then back to recovery - it's been hard. So even though I don't share your experience, believe me when I say that I feel for you in the struggle.

You've mentioned AA meetings, but wonder if you've tried Crystal Meth Anonymous meetings. From what my son says, there are definitely people at CMA who will totally understand. If nothing else, you might check out their website if you haven't already. I am sure there are people here at SR who will understand as well. Hang in there. You're not alone and I'm sure the right person will respond.

blueginger

I completely understand the frantic scary feeling. Looking for answers myself and waiting it out seems to be the only option. I'm sure that you know it can and will get better.