LittleChris

Hi all,

So I'm 5 1/2 months sober and lately finding it extremely hard to focus on the important things I need to get done. Since getting sober I have been not working and trying to create my own company, its a dream I've always wanted to do. It was going pretty strong at first but now I'm just so mentally exhausting from thinking so so much about recovery that I'm just unable to focus on the work. I don't understand what the value of sobriety is if I can't even do what I set myself up to achieve. Lately, I just feel like what's the point of being sober if I'm accomplishing the same amount while I was drinking (mind you I was pretty high functional while drinking). I guess I'm bit disappointed in myself, because I always thought it was because I was drinking I wasn't able to start the company...and now I'm just thinking it's me not the drink whose incapable. I was debating to go see a doctor to see if I could get any adderral to help me focus on my work but part of me thinks that's my addictive personality coming into play since I've never been diagnosed as ADHD.

Has anyone else had focusing issues during early sobriety?

nandm

Your body and mind are still healing from the years of alcohol abuse. Be patient with yourself. I know for me the fogginess took a while to clear and some days is still present after years of sobriety.

MycoolFitz

I'm sorry you're having a tough time focusing and all, hopefully it'll get better. As to what's the point of being sober...sobriety/recovery is about every single aspect of your life, not just work production. If you think you're incapable at leat your incapable sober. And 5 1/2 months doesn't happen by being incapable. Checking with a doctor is a good idea because we can change a lot with alcohol out of the mix.

Our problem is that inside us there's a mind going, "Impossible, impossible, impossible. I can't, I can't, I can't."
We have to banish that mind from this solar system.
Anything is possible; everything is possible. Sometimes you feel that your dreams are impossible, but they're not.
Human beings have great potential; they can do anything. The power of the mind is incredible, limitless.
Lama Yeshe

wheresthefun

LittleChris, I know plenty of people who've never had a substance abuse problem, yet have trouble focusing.

Did you quit drinking just so you could focus better, or did you quit drinking because you knew it was ruining your life and your health?

sugarbear1

Have you worked any of the 12 steps?

LittleChris

I quit drinking because of one too many falling accidents. The last time I drank was the worst fall where I cracked my skull open and somehow after being unconscious woke to get myself to the ER bleeding all over. I do try to remember that when I question whats the point of sobriety. I guess though I was expecting a "better, more improved" me (this is my first time dealing with with sobriety). I know recovery takes time, but I guess I'm pretty impatient (as I'm sure many people recovering are). I do see minor benefits, but was hoping for more. Plus in the process I have been having trouble sleeping, which could be tied to my inability to focus.

I have not worked the 12 steps. I have gone to a few AA meetings and have mixed feelings on the whole program. Some days it helps me to listen to others...other days I feel so out of the group. I have not been able to really talk to anyone there as I am shy so there are days AA makes me feel worst...kinda like the uncool girl in the group she didn't even want to be part of.

nandm

I too had an incident where I had a fall, actually two in the same night, that caused a severe concussion right before I quit drinking. It was actually the event that made me realize that I could have died that night and my oldest daughter would have been the one to find me. That would have been horrible for a 15 y/o. It was then that I realized I had to find a way to get sober. Then at 6 months recovery I had a motorcycle accident that caused another concussion. That added to the existing problem.

The effects of those concussions lasted for almost two years and I still can see the effects. I had dizzy spells frequently, difficulty concentrating, memory loss both short and long term, and lost my photographic memory. Today learning new things comes very hard for me, it used to be simple and easy. I still struggle with memory loss and it is difficult to find simple words at times.

I guess what I am saying is that head injuries can be serious enough to cause long term damage and sometimes the short term damage that can last for months and sometimes years. I would be sure to bring up the previous head injuries with my doctor because they may be related as well as the ADHD. But only a physician is truly qualified to make that determination.

LittleChris

Hi Nandm,

Thanks. I guess it never occurred to me that my inability to focus could be side effects from my many drunk falls, the last being the worst. I know that I have horrible short term memory and I never really knew when that popped up...perhaps that too is a result of my drinking and falling. Thanks for opening my eyes to the other benefits of sobriety...no more falls (well one hopes since you can clearly fall sober too).

Dee74

I too was a faller, Chris, and I had strokes into the bargain....like nandm it took me some years before I felt 'right' again.

I encourage you to see a Dr. too

With you not seeing a "better, more improved" you - that takes time..and much work..and much honesty.

Sobriety is not a magic pill as I see it. When I just stop drinking, I'm the same person, just sober....it took work and time for me to become comfortable with myself and my life now...I had a lot of debris to search through and sort out when I got sober

Don't give up, Chris

D

sugarbear1

I work with a spiritual advisor (sponsor) who was once a homeless drunk living under a bridge. Broke, drunk, hopeless, and seriously a believer that a higher power was nonexistent. Suicide didn't even work.

Twenty-six years later, this person is happily married, employed, holds 4 degrees, makes enough money to have retired 8 years ago, but chooses to be useful to others, attends aa meetings, sponsors others, treats all people with kindness, feeds those who are hungry, houses others if needed, sponsors others, works with a sponsor/spiritual advisor. Basically is the total opposite of what once was, and is a free thinker.

I want to know my authentic self, so I work the steps. I attend meetings to help the next suffering alcoholic because someone helped me, freely.

Alcohol is but a symptom. Read Came to Believe. Awesome booklet who's Foreward states:
"We are not bound by theological doctrine...We are many minds in our organization."

artsoul

Hi LittleChris - I'm sorry things haven't been better for you. I think we all have issues that we covered up with drinking - but as far as I know, none of my problems ever got solved by alcohol.

It's tempting to ask "what's the point of being sober?" But that sounds like it's your addiction talking to you. If you can think in terms of finding solutions (rather than running away), it might help you to feel more positive. Counseling and/or a psychiatrist have helped others - have you considered that route? (Also, taking Vitamin B Complex can help - most of us have a deficiency).

Posting about this is a really positive move...... Keep going!:ghug3

CaiHong

Little Chris,
It isn't just about stopping drinking. Checkout this website. It is really helping me with my step work
On-Demand RecoveryTV Addiction Recovery Resources
CaiHong