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3 AA meetings a day?

Old 08-18-2011, 10:23 AM
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3 AA meetings a day?

So curious me has a question. I have an RA friend and coworker who's been in recovery for about 2 months (he did a month of intensive outpatient rehab). He's been on leave from work and we've been out of touch for all that time until the other day, but when we spoke it was very short and no details on his recovery. Long story short, boss met with him today to give him his return to work options (they don't really want him to come back but that's a topic for another thread )

I asked the boss how RAF was doing with his recovery - boss said he's going to 2 or 3 meetings per day! Is that a lot? I have known my friend for a very long time and I've been trying to understand what he's going through so I can support his recovery. I guess I am just curious if that many meetings is truly helpful to him, or if maybe he's just filling his day because he hasn't been allowed to return to work.
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Old 08-18-2011, 10:31 AM
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You should ask him.

But a) does it really matter if he's not drinking?

b) Is it really your business either way?

Be supportive, be a friend let them find their own path to happiness
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Old 08-18-2011, 10:32 AM
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Some people find that they like to have the extra support in early recovery. I think it is great that he wants to do that. hopefully he will work the program as well as attend meetings!
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Old 08-18-2011, 10:34 AM
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Hopefully he is doing what he needs to do to recover.
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Old 08-18-2011, 10:35 AM
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The boss had no right to disclose any information anyways.
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Old 08-18-2011, 10:57 AM
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In my first couple of years of recovery I went to as many meetings as I could. I needed that because I had no clue how to live without drinking. I did not know what to do with my time. I needed the support of people who had been through what I was going through. I needed to build a support group in recovery. I needed to learn how to work the program of AA. One thing that I figured is that I spent more time drinking in a day than pretty much any time AA took out of my day even if it was several meetings.

For each person it is different though. I do know people who went to one meeting a day or a couple a week in early sobriety and seem to be doing fine. I have 10 years sobriety and still attend at least two a week. I guess it just depends on the person.
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Old 08-18-2011, 11:01 AM
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There are nondisclosure and confidentiality laws regarding work and employees....the boss can be in trouble at this point and firing him can be fought........some people are sicker than others.

Kudos to those who get help for themselves!
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Old 08-18-2011, 11:20 AM
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Thanks to all for your replies!

By nature I’m just curious, and that’s why I am here on SR, to learn. It just sounded like a lot of meetings to me. I am very glad he’s working a program; as his friend, I care and want his recovery to succeed!! And as a coworker, his behavior and absence from work has directly affected my job because we are a small company, and one of the things that I do is HR. So the boss sharing information with me specifically is not out of line with that, nor would my friend object to me being the one that asked. But I appreciate the comments on nondisclosure and respect them. I have not repeated anything that I heard from my boss to anyone else, nor will I. The question was for me.
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Old 08-18-2011, 12:24 PM
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Bon, like Nand, I did 2,3 or 4 meetings a day my first 6 months.

Now I do about 2-3 per week, work full time and am back in college full time.

I'm about a week from 10 months sober. In the beginning some of us need a lot of in-person support as we are learning how to replace a culture of drinking etc. With a culture built around choosing to live a sober lifestyle.

Hope that helps!
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Old 08-18-2011, 12:26 PM
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I am of the opinion that the only stupid question is the one you don't ask... as long as your motives are for self enlightenment...

Yea, three a day are a lot of meetings... but that many meetings early on is not uncommon for people in AA. I do about that many in a week, now, almost three years.

It takes what it takes... you sound sincerely concerned and interested... he's lucky to have good friends.
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Old 08-18-2011, 12:29 PM
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I do as many as possible, because I am not yet working and I have the time. Ya never know who will be able to help whom stay sober that day. Peace, from the intergroup office, volunteering time to help with the phones so others can locate meetings.....
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Old 08-18-2011, 12:38 PM
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I'm not surprised to hear that he's going to multiple meetings every day. If he's not working and on medical leave, what better way to fill your time but with recovery efforts? I know when I was on medical leave during an outpatient treatment program, I was very sensitive about what I was doing with my free time.

Some people, working or not working, go to multiple meetings every day just to ensure they won't be drinking instead. The first months of recovery are very difficult and breaking daily patterns is part of that. If he was drinking in the mornings he might feel like he needs to break that pattern by going to meetings (or exercising or whatever). And if drinking after work and all night long was something he did, going to a meeting or two at night instead takes up his time and he certainly won't be drinking.

For many people in early recovery, meetings are a huge comfort. When we're sick with a cold, we take great comfort being in bed with a loved one taking care of us. Recovery can be the same way, with the meeting providing those same helpful benefits.
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Old 08-18-2011, 05:10 PM
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Thanks again to all of you, I very much appreciate you sharing your experience, it absolutely helps. I wish you all continued success with your own recoveries!

I am glad to learn that multiple meetings per day is common in early recovery and very helpful to him. And my friend is definitely someone who has been taken out of his daily routine, so I could see where a new routine of meetings would work for him.

and Mark75, thank you; I do care a lot. When you are around somebody nearly every single day for 15 years, it's very hard to watch them go through something like this. I knew he drank too much but never realized he was so far out of control. And not hearing from him or being able to help him, especially with his situation at work, has been hard for me. That's what led me here to SR. I now have a better understanding of what he's going through, so that whenever he's truly ready to reconnect with me, I hope that I can offer the kind of support he needs. There are a couple of coworkers who are so let down that have turned their backs on him, but not me.
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Old 08-18-2011, 06:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Muunray View Post
The boss had no right to disclose any information anyways.
This ^^^ Pretty much a breach of trust there.
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Old 08-18-2011, 06:30 PM
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If anybody is in trouble here, it's the boss.

The disclosure of confidential personnel information in an employment situation is a bigger issue than an alcoholic, who recognizing his problem, is active in a recovery program.
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