Hello all I'm new and want to quit alcohol
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 14
Hello all I'm new and want to quit alcohol
Hi everyone,
I have had a drinking and binge drinking problem for over 10 years but it has become particularly bad in the last four years. I convinced myself that I didn't have a problem because I dont need alcohol everyday, as in I can have abstinence periods. That said, the longest abstinence period I have had was 7 weeks. I then went on a massive bender after that.
I have been off and on. I have been experiencing blackouts for the last 3 or 4 years. I have woken up having withdrawn 500 bucks out of an ATM and having no idea doing it. Luckily I had 400 in my pocket but God knows where I spent the rest. I have said things I cant remember saying. Sometimes nonsensical and even racist things which I would never say. I have had fights with friends and I have said hurtful things to my wife. Including pathetic self-loathing rants
Recently , I had a big bender where I was chatting up and grabbing girls in bars and being a real pig. I am married and my wife deserves better. I felt sick with myself the next day
If it wasn't for a friend of mine I may have never got home. Two days ago I was going to a friends house for a coffee and I told him I was quitting but then we ended up having one last drink.. Woke up at his place with a hell of a hang over.
I have been suffering anxiety based on the blackouts and have been paranoid about things I did when drunk. I have been nervous when walking around, just in case people on the street recognize me as that drunk guy.
Sometimes if I can too stressed I have a beer to take the edge off it.. but then I end of drunk again
Public drunkenness is something that could get me fired. It would devastate my family finances. I have missed days of work because of this. Not recently but last year I missed about 3 or 4. Or walked into work looking like death
I have been lurking this forum for a while. I told my wife I was quitting and joining AA but she just laughed at me because she has seen my try so many times. She doesnt think I have a bad problem. But she doesnt know about my behavior. I always drink with mates so only they know my true problem
Trouble is they are all alcoholics as well.
Ok thats enough for now. I have been sober for just under 23 hours now. I feel good.
I am going to attend an AA meeting this Saturday. I am a little nervous.
I have had a drinking and binge drinking problem for over 10 years but it has become particularly bad in the last four years. I convinced myself that I didn't have a problem because I dont need alcohol everyday, as in I can have abstinence periods. That said, the longest abstinence period I have had was 7 weeks. I then went on a massive bender after that.
I have been off and on. I have been experiencing blackouts for the last 3 or 4 years. I have woken up having withdrawn 500 bucks out of an ATM and having no idea doing it. Luckily I had 400 in my pocket but God knows where I spent the rest. I have said things I cant remember saying. Sometimes nonsensical and even racist things which I would never say. I have had fights with friends and I have said hurtful things to my wife. Including pathetic self-loathing rants
Recently , I had a big bender where I was chatting up and grabbing girls in bars and being a real pig. I am married and my wife deserves better. I felt sick with myself the next day
If it wasn't for a friend of mine I may have never got home. Two days ago I was going to a friends house for a coffee and I told him I was quitting but then we ended up having one last drink.. Woke up at his place with a hell of a hang over.
I have been suffering anxiety based on the blackouts and have been paranoid about things I did when drunk. I have been nervous when walking around, just in case people on the street recognize me as that drunk guy.
Sometimes if I can too stressed I have a beer to take the edge off it.. but then I end of drunk again
Public drunkenness is something that could get me fired. It would devastate my family finances. I have missed days of work because of this. Not recently but last year I missed about 3 or 4. Or walked into work looking like death
I have been lurking this forum for a while. I told my wife I was quitting and joining AA but she just laughed at me because she has seen my try so many times. She doesnt think I have a bad problem. But she doesnt know about my behavior. I always drink with mates so only they know my true problem
Trouble is they are all alcoholics as well.
Ok thats enough for now. I have been sober for just under 23 hours now. I feel good.
I am going to attend an AA meeting this Saturday. I am a little nervous.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
Posts: 42
I'm in the same boat.
Today is day 4 of not drinking. I don't drink every single day, but when I do, I drink way too much and go on benders, either blacking out or passing out or both.
Days after getting super drunk are filled with shame, regret, anxiety and a desire to never do it again.
Brief periods of abstinence have worked for me, but it's the long term that has been hard for me.
I guess not having to go through detoxing and anxiety-filled days after binge-ing is a good incentive to not do it again.
Most of my friends also drink too much and just think the stupid drunk antics are funny.
I'm too new to this to offer any useful advice, but I can relate.
Today is day 4 of not drinking. I don't drink every single day, but when I do, I drink way too much and go on benders, either blacking out or passing out or both.
Days after getting super drunk are filled with shame, regret, anxiety and a desire to never do it again.
Brief periods of abstinence have worked for me, but it's the long term that has been hard for me.
I guess not having to go through detoxing and anxiety-filled days after binge-ing is a good incentive to not do it again.
Most of my friends also drink too much and just think the stupid drunk antics are funny.
I'm too new to this to offer any useful advice, but I can relate.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,500
Hi and Welcome,
We do understand how difficult it is to face ourselves and admit that we are alcoholics. I'm sorry that your wife laughed at you, but it's hard for others to understand.
I had anxiety issues long before I began drinking, but the alcohol quickly made everything so much worse. I would wake up in the middle of the night, with a pounding heart, trying desperately to remember what I'd said the evening before. What a relief it was to finally have that behind me.
I hope you keep reading and posting and know that you can do this.
We do understand how difficult it is to face ourselves and admit that we are alcoholics. I'm sorry that your wife laughed at you, but it's hard for others to understand.
I had anxiety issues long before I began drinking, but the alcohol quickly made everything so much worse. I would wake up in the middle of the night, with a pounding heart, trying desperately to remember what I'd said the evening before. What a relief it was to finally have that behind me.
I hope you keep reading and posting and know that you can do this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by stavros212 
I'm in the same boat.
Today is day 4 of not drinking. I don't drink every single day, but when I do, I drink way too much and go on benders, either blacking out or passing out or both.
Days after getting super drunk are filled with shame, regret, anxiety and a desire to never do it again.
Brief periods of abstinence have worked for me, but it's the long term that has been hard for me.
I guess not having to go through detoxing and anxiety-filled days after binge-ing is a good incentive to not do it again.
Most of my friends also drink too much and just think the stupid drunk antics are funny.
I'm too new to this to offer any useful advice, but I can relate.
Today is day 4 of not drinking. I don't drink every single day, but when I do, I drink way too much and go on benders, either blacking out or passing out or both.
Days after getting super drunk are filled with shame, regret, anxiety and a desire to never do it again.
Brief periods of abstinence have worked for me, but it's the long term that has been hard for me.
I guess not having to go through detoxing and anxiety-filled days after binge-ing is a good incentive to not do it again.
Most of my friends also drink too much and just think the stupid drunk antics are funny.
I'm too new to this to offer any useful advice, but I can relate.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by Anna
Hi and Welcome,
We do understand how difficult it is to face ourselves and admit that we are alcoholics. I'm sorry that your wife laughed at you, but it's hard for others to understand.
I had anxiety issues long before I began drinking, but the alcohol quickly made everything so much worse. I would wake up in the middle of the night, with a pounding heart, trying desperately to remember what I'd said the evening before. What a relief it was to finally have that behind me.
I hope you keep reading and posting and know that you can do this.
We do understand how difficult it is to face ourselves and admit that we are alcoholics. I'm sorry that your wife laughed at you, but it's hard for others to understand.
I had anxiety issues long before I began drinking, but the alcohol quickly made everything so much worse. I would wake up in the middle of the night, with a pounding heart, trying desperately to remember what I'd said the evening before. What a relief it was to finally have that behind me.
I hope you keep reading and posting and know that you can do this.
I totally dont blame her for laughing at me. She knows me well and has heard me say similar things before, then go and get wasted an hour later I dont blame her for not quite believing me at first.
Anxiety is hard, I had a near panic attack on train today as i had it in my head that someone was filming me . Totally irrational but these doubts and paranoia get locked in my head sometimes after heavy binges and blackouts. Thanks for your message
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Welcome to SR.
I am sure you will find the support, hope and experience I have found here. I utilize AA for my program of recovery and have found great success with it. I hope you do as well. Try not to worry about what others think about your wanting to quit, only you know deep inside of you what is important and if that is quitting then what they think is irrelevant. Many people in my life had no clue how bad my alcoholism was when I quit but I sure did.
I am sure you will find the support, hope and experience I have found here. I utilize AA for my program of recovery and have found great success with it. I hope you do as well. Try not to worry about what others think about your wanting to quit, only you know deep inside of you what is important and if that is quitting then what they think is irrelevant. Many people in my life had no clue how bad my alcoholism was when I quit but I sure did.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Corpus Christi Texas
Posts: 76
You just told "my" story......almost word for word, and I have been sober for 18 days. It can be done. Every single thing you said I identified with. I was the same type drinker, one horrible binge after another....with weeks, even months in between. It only gets worse, believe me. I am glad you are doing something about it and have found this site. It really has helped me.
Black-outs.....empty bank-account.....waking up in god-awful places, not knowing how I got there.....coming out of black-outs and being lost, not knowing how to get home....getting 86'd from bars and clubs.....being arrested for PI....DUI'S....physically hurting myself by falling.....broken arm....broken ribs....banged up and bruised up. These are the things that can happen with this desease, no fun. Always cleaning up disasters that I have created, not to mention lost jobs.
Welcome, and I was so moved by your post, it only reinforces my desire to have a sober life and be the person I know I am.
Thanks, and good luck in your endeavors, keep posting.
Black-outs.....empty bank-account.....waking up in god-awful places, not knowing how I got there.....coming out of black-outs and being lost, not knowing how to get home....getting 86'd from bars and clubs.....being arrested for PI....DUI'S....physically hurting myself by falling.....broken arm....broken ribs....banged up and bruised up. These are the things that can happen with this desease, no fun. Always cleaning up disasters that I have created, not to mention lost jobs.
Welcome, and I was so moved by your post, it only reinforces my desire to have a sober life and be the person I know I am.
Thanks, and good luck in your endeavors, keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Quickbeam))) - welcome to SR!! My family never laughed at me, but they sure got used to me not following through with whatever I said (my DOC was crack).
When I finally hit bottom and chose recovery, I never said a word about it. I just showed, with my actions, that I was a different person. SR has been a HUGE help in my recovery. "talking" with others who get it, is some pretty powerful stuff. I also have some f2f support, but have been to meetings in the past and still use what I learned there.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
When I finally hit bottom and chose recovery, I never said a word about it. I just showed, with my actions, that I was a different person. SR has been a HUGE help in my recovery. "talking" with others who get it, is some pretty powerful stuff. I also have some f2f support, but have been to meetings in the past and still use what I learned there.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 471
Welcome!! As you've already seen you will get lots of support here. It's a great place to go. I totally know what you mean about anxiety. I suffer from it whether I'm drinking or not but I can honestly say that alcohol made it 100 x worse. Good for you for recognizing that you need to quit!! 
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome quickbeam - Lots of people here (and in AA) know what you're going through. I fought getting sober for years, thinking I could figure out a way to have "just a few" and it never happened.
Life can be good without alcohol - keep reading/posting!:day6
Life can be good without alcohol - keep reading/posting!:day6
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,563
Hi quickbeam - it's great you found SR. We're all in this together, and it really helps to have others to talk to who get what we're going through.
Drinking caused me to do out-of-character things too. I still don't understand how it's possible to be a different person when drunk, but I was. Picking up the pieces so many times took it's toll. I had to get off the rollercoaster - I was in danger.
You sound disgusted enough to want a change in your life. I hope you will continue to talk to us and share how you're feeling as you start on your journey to health & well-being. I know you can do this, because I did - after a lifetime of drinking. You can learn to live again in a new way. Congratulations on wanting a better life for yourself & your family.
Drinking caused me to do out-of-character things too. I still don't understand how it's possible to be a different person when drunk, but I was. Picking up the pieces so many times took it's toll. I had to get off the rollercoaster - I was in danger.
You sound disgusted enough to want a change in your life. I hope you will continue to talk to us and share how you're feeling as you start on your journey to health & well-being. I know you can do this, because I did - after a lifetime of drinking. You can learn to live again in a new way. Congratulations on wanting a better life for yourself & your family.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 14
Thanks and 2 days
Hi everyone, I am overwhelmed by the support I got here. Thanks so much.
I have just finished day 2 sober.
I am still feeling a little nervous during the day and unsure of the future but am trying to keep myself calm.Also feeling some pretty negative feelings about myself from time to time. I think it will take me a while to sort myself out. In the past I could get over anxiety after a week or so. What I feel now is more deep seated. Like Ive damaged my soul or something.
What im feeling now is worse. Everyones telling me here that it gets worse because alcoholism is progressive. That means it wont get better unless I stop drinking altogether.
The only good side I can see to this is that its made me finally wake up .
AA meeting tomorrow.
I have just finished day 2 sober.
I am still feeling a little nervous during the day and unsure of the future but am trying to keep myself calm.Also feeling some pretty negative feelings about myself from time to time. I think it will take me a while to sort myself out. In the past I could get over anxiety after a week or so. What I feel now is more deep seated. Like Ive damaged my soul or something.
What im feeling now is worse. Everyones telling me here that it gets worse because alcoholism is progressive. That means it wont get better unless I stop drinking altogether.
The only good side I can see to this is that its made me finally wake up .
AA meeting tomorrow.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Congrats on day 2! Don't be too hard on yourself - you're barely through the worst of withdrawals.......!!!
The first week seemed so long, and very strange, like landing on another planet. I was tired, didn't sleep well, and basically just camped out on this forum because the urge to drink was so strong. I let stuff go, as much as possible and treated myself like I would if I were recovering from any other illness.
Your soul is still there, and things really will get better. :day6
The first week seemed so long, and very strange, like landing on another planet. I was tired, didn't sleep well, and basically just camped out on this forum because the urge to drink was so strong. I let stuff go, as much as possible and treated myself like I would if I were recovering from any other illness.
Your soul is still there, and things really will get better. :day6
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
Hi Quickbeam, and welcome to SR. Don't underestimate how weird the first few days can feel. Some people feel negative about themselves, or depressed, or physically ill. It's linked with the withdrawal, and it does get better.
You may find that your friends will initially be puzzled by your quitting, and after a few weeks they may follow suit. I've now been sober for four months, and every single time I'm out with friends, one or more of them will pull me aside and share their private concerns about their drinking levels - or if not them, someone they are worried about. I have two friends now who have quit drinking since I have, and I'm pleased for them. It sometimes takes one person to take a stand and say 'enough is enough' for others to realize that the drunken behavior is craziness at 40+ (and this is a bunch of housewives!!).
You may find that your friends will initially be puzzled by your quitting, and after a few weeks they may follow suit. I've now been sober for four months, and every single time I'm out with friends, one or more of them will pull me aside and share their private concerns about their drinking levels - or if not them, someone they are worried about. I have two friends now who have quit drinking since I have, and I'm pleased for them. It sometimes takes one person to take a stand and say 'enough is enough' for others to realize that the drunken behavior is craziness at 40+ (and this is a bunch of housewives!!).
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 32
People often do not realise how bad things are hence they do not understand until you are in a bad way. My ex whom I see alot due to visitation with kids and I have talked alot about my drinking but he fails to see me as an alcoholic although even he is starting to change his mind. When he was picking the kids up and the kitchen was full of empty wine bottles, vodka bottles and 24 cans all since his last a week before even he got slightly concerned for all of a day. My best friend her dad is an alchoholic and she said to me the other day you smell just like my dad used to!! Do not lose your resolve and well done
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