stuartp

Hey . . . I've been going to AA for the last 3+weeks. Each new meeting I go to , I hear different stories about how newcomers are treated. And I'm slowing piecing together what I should/shouldn't be doing. I have a sponsor, but still feel like I'm finding my way in the dark.

Are there any posts on here for newcomers to AA - what to expect, what you should be doing, etc. I was told to get people's numbers to call them (I've been married 20 + years and was never good at asking girls for their numbers. To ask guys for theirs is a whole 'nother story : )

What should I look for in a sponsor - how do I get a new one if I think I need a change? And many other questions. I went to a meeting where someone talked about showing up, and was (nearly) forcibly assigned a sponsor. THis sounded a little over the top but the person was very happy to know what was going on.

Any help on this appreciated. I've been feeling good about AA but after a few weeks, starting to feel weaker and a little lost.

Thanks!

sugarbear1

There are aa pamphlets that can answer your questions. Get phone numbers and call people. It's hard for us, but you'll feel good about doing it. Keep listening. Are you calling your sponsor and asking these questions??

Anna

This is a Sticky on what to expect when you stop drinking. The Pink Cloud is a feeling of euphoria that some people experience in the early days of recovery. It certainly didn't happen to me because I had a lot of shame and guilt to try to clean up:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

MarylandRick

For me, it is losing the desire to be a drinker. I have many failed attempts at quitting but with those attempts, even though I knew I shouldn't drink, I still wanted to be a drinker. The thought of not drinking scared me.

Today I no longer want to be a drinking. Though the urge will likely return, at present I don't want to be a drinker and I am ok with this. It's actually a huge relief.

It is also realizing that God is all around me. I just hadn't been looking.

wheresthefun

Who says "the urge will likely return"?

wheresthefun

If you tell yourself something long enough, be it positive or negative, you will start to believe it.

MarylandRick

I actually don't think it will, hence the pink cloud.

I just want to be cautious and make sure I am well equipped to handle it should it arise. I hear so many in AA saying never say never.

Mcribb

I burned it hard for so long, Working, Drinking, Drugging, night and day, ran me ragged, so once I stopped working, drinking, and drugging, and started just getting rest and put sobriety first I got healed physically. So then you feel awesome, but then life starts to set in and life seems to suck again, that is where a program helps you cope. Then you just start dong the ups and downs in sobriety and sometimes it sucks, sometimes it's good, but it's all apart of life in sobriety.

michelle01

Kind of wordy but a good guide for a newcomer Your First AA Meeting<

Not everyone gets the 'pink cloud'. It's a mood, feelings and moods can be all over the place for awhile in recovery. I did get a few phases of 'euphoria' in my first year. Pink clouds can last a few days, a few weeks. The trouble is that while experiencing them, you can become overconfident about your sobriety, think you've 'overcome' your problem for good, and when it wears off, you're vulnerable.

It eventually evened out for me, my aim these days is for balance, stability, the 'serenity' to live sober.

Boleo

It's called the "principle of favorability". When you play cards the first time, you are almost sure to win. Beginner's luck. Why is that? Because there is a force that wants you to realize your destiny; it whets your appetite with a taste of success.

Read more: What is the concept of "favorability" in Zen Buddhism? | Answerbag What is the concept of "favorability" in Zen Buddhism? | Answerbag

Rusty Zipper

stu

some good replys and suggestions here for you.

and on that PC (Pink Cloud)

the written definition is whats been said,

the reality of it,

that PC can last a lifetime,

as it's all in the attitude,

a good attitude

good wishes stu

BadCompany

Don't stress too much over the sponsorship thing. It's the sponsors job to sweat that. If you need a new sponsor, just ask someone else to sponsor you. That simple.

What should you look for in a sponsor? Guidance. I view my job as a sponsor as a tour guide through the steps of AA. There are tons of theories on what the sponsor/sponsee dynamic should be and very few have much substance. One common theory is to have a sponsor that is like you. My sponsor and I are very different. My reason is that I don't want an answer I could eventually come up with, I want an answer I never would have thought of.

Getting or changing sponsors is more trouble than it should be. As an old timer I have seen it all. I often find myself being stalked. Some newish guy will suddenly call a few times hemming and hawing around what he wants to say, I'll see them at my meetings just within earshot of me but not close enough to talk to me. I will often put them out of their misery and ask them if they are looking for a sponsor.

Other times I will find a newcomer stalling and fearful, worrying this sponsorship thing like a dog worries a bone. I will put them out of their misery by picking someone solid in the meeting and point at them saying "see him? that's Mike, go tell him he's your sponsor".

The last thing a newcomer needs is some complex relationship thing over this sponsorship thing. Get a sponsor, if they don't work out get another.

This is your life on the line.

stuartp

Ah . . .so my Pink Cloud wore off over the past few days - they've been a lot tougher. I made it through and feeling better now.

Thanks everyone for your posts - really helpful. I'll check back in a day or so and see if there's anything more.

sugarbear1

I am not up up up, nor am I down down down..... I am at an even.

I am happy when things are happy and sad when things are sad. I have empathy for another; I feel the newcomer's pain.

I have been there, I have done that, and I know no one's past is any better or worse than mine. I am working the steps with, get this, my 4th sponsor in the last 94 days, but seriously, it's the one person who has been there for me, taking me to meetings when I humble my self and ask. I am a she, he is a he, there is nothing other than program between us.

He has worked and is working the steps with his sponsor and sponsors others, both male and female. I have 25 years in and out of AA, but not once have I worked the steps as I have this time around. I worked all 12 on day 10. I am on step 3 and doing step 4 on Saturday, step 5 on Sunday.

Not that day (the day I worked the steps) but gradually, I felt at peace. Daily attendance at meetings, listening and sharing when needed, I heard. I have a gently peaceful feeling around me. Is it my Higher Power? I think so. I am at the point of no return, for if I drink again, I am sure to hit my true bottom, an untimely death. I refuse to die; and I want to live.

Basically, I feel that I am on a perpetual pink cloud, but I do feel sad when I am sad, I cry, I pray and soon enough, those feelings are changed. I do the next right thing in front of me. I am not yet working (unemployed, so stress is less), yet I believe I will be useful to others when I do become employed again.

For now, I stick close to the AA program, at least one meeting daily, prayers, and step work. I fall short of my daily journal and sometimes calling my network, so I have some work to begin again this evening. Everything will balance. The pink cloud, I hope it's at least a misty pink.... and sticks with me.

soberviking

For me the pink cloud was kind of like that song from Team America called "America, F*CK YEAH!"
Except for me it was more like "Sobriety, F*CK YEAH!"

I've had so many false starts over the years I don't quite have that same enthusiasm for it anymore besides the initial first day or two. But life goes on, still have to work pay bills go grocery shopping take the dogs out do laundry cook mow the lawn wash the truck shovel the drive way put up with dipsticks at work clean the gutters chauffeur my Sister to and from work take out the garbage pick up the garbage that any neighborhood dogs scatted around the yard and the list goes on.

But I'm learning how to do all these things while sober. That's the important part.