I did it again!!! :(
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 189
I did it again!!! :(
I do admit I have a drinking problem!!! I binged for 4 days straight and missed work and got fired! I basically screwed myself over! No job and no pay! I got to find another job because I need money to live and eat.I keep thinking or pretending I can drink when I can't! IM a type 1 diabetic! ANd I was just purely drinking. I walked down to my sponsors house in the evening. despite my feet killing me from the drinking. He wasn't home however. So I walked back home to my town in which it was dark and there were no street lights. I got scared because I started thinking of wild animals. because we have coyotes in the neighbourhood.. I've heard them howling one time a while back and it was scary. But I kept walking down the road and some cars would drive by. Im mad at myself because I kept thinking about drinking rather then work and I was like screw with work Im Drinking! SO i missed 4 days and obviously im probably fired. I dont know what to do now because it is hard to find work now a days. And my boss has given me lots of chances to stay sober and work and I mean lots. I didn't pay my rent money and I read from my landlord that she doesn't have enough money for even hydro! We're gonna lose our hydro next week! And go figure. I lost the battery for my cellphone somewhere in my friends room. 
I have said sorry to my higher power when I was on my way to my sponsors house. I begged for forgiveness because I keep screwin myself up. I dont want to drink anymore. And I know it will always be around for access. I really want to stop. Im going to talk to my sponsor tonight and see if I could get to a treatment center. I think I need to do it to really see how I can work my steps and go to treatment. thanks for reading.
I have said sorry to my higher power when I was on my way to my sponsors house. I begged for forgiveness because I keep screwin myself up. I dont want to drink anymore. And I know it will always be around for access. I really want to stop. Im going to talk to my sponsor tonight and see if I could get to a treatment center. I think I need to do it to really see how I can work my steps and go to treatment. thanks for reading.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
I am sorry to read that you are having difficulty staying sober. I am hoping you can find the help you need soon. I would get out my big book if I were you and start reading through it with your sponsor, attend meetings daily, and call your sponsor or someone from the program before you drink.
Good luck to you! All you can do now is admit defeat and begin to change. You can do it! We can't do it alone, though, so reach out for the support of others that have found a way out of this ok?
My sponsor says we have a compulsion, and it's a progressive disease.
Good luck to you! All you can do now is admit defeat and begin to change. You can do it! We can't do it alone, though, so reach out for the support of others that have found a way out of this ok?
My sponsor says we have a compulsion, and it's a progressive disease.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Langley, BC
Posts: 1,007
sorry to hear this....sad where you are with things right now. Fortunately, there's really nowhere to go but up, right? Hard as it might be, there is a way to turn this around. I think a treatment centre is a great idea, if you're able to do that. It might be a great spot for you to be, to get the tools to be able to start over.
you can do it, best of luck!!
you can do it, best of luck!!
Happy_Girl
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Middletown, NY
Posts: 3
I did it again before I finally go it too...SEVERAL TIMES....so be kind to yourself. The important thing is that you are HERE now and reaching out through amnesty.
The bottom line is this: You can do anything you want IF YOU REALLY WANT IT.
So, do you?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Corpus Christi Texas
Posts: 76
Hi, and I am sorry for your circumstances. However, as far as jobs go......I did the same thing to myself just recently. I got drunk, stayed drunk for four days and did not bother going to work. In fact, during my drunk I e-mailed my employer and told him to screw himself and that I would not be back. Is that total insanity, or what? I am paying the price now. I have been sober for 18 days and have struggled with the fear of applying for jobs. This morning I finally got up the nerve to apply at 2 places and I feel much more confident now, just getting out the door was the problem. I only have one more months rent left, so must get a job soon.
This drinking and drugging crap takes a toll on every aspect of my life, and I refuse to let it happen again. I am glad to have these 18 days, and this site has helped me a great deal. Detox was horrible for me and I do not wish it on anyone, ( another reason for me to stay sober ).
Good luck.....if I did it.....you can do it. Keep posting.
This drinking and drugging crap takes a toll on every aspect of my life, and I refuse to let it happen again. I am glad to have these 18 days, and this site has helped me a great deal. Detox was horrible for me and I do not wish it on anyone, ( another reason for me to stay sober ).
Good luck.....if I did it.....you can do it. Keep posting.
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