Newly Sober (Again)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 8
Newly Sober (Again)
Hi, I'm new to this site and this is my first post here. I need some support outside of AA meetings. I'm not the biggest fan of AA but I need something. I found 2 meetings that I like. My life is hectic and there is no way for me to make more anyway, so I figured online forums and meetings would make a good supplement.
I've been sober for a little over 3 weeks now. It's probably the longest in a very long time. I still have trouble calling myself an alcoholic. Probably because I hate that about myself and consider it to be weak. I'm so strong in so many other ways. My career has not bee affected and my life has not been affected, well not that others have noticed, ha. However, I've been very lucky. The Thursday before I got sober, I don't remember how I got my youngest child home. That is not the only time that has happened.
I guess I have a long list of war stories and horrible things that I have done. For right now I just want to sit back and learn how other people are getting well. Things I have done are terribly embarrassing, even if anonymous
Looking forward to getting better and hopefully being of support to others.
I've been sober for a little over 3 weeks now. It's probably the longest in a very long time. I still have trouble calling myself an alcoholic. Probably because I hate that about myself and consider it to be weak. I'm so strong in so many other ways. My career has not bee affected and my life has not been affected, well not that others have noticed, ha. However, I've been very lucky. The Thursday before I got sober, I don't remember how I got my youngest child home. That is not the only time that has happened.
I guess I have a long list of war stories and horrible things that I have done. For right now I just want to sit back and learn how other people are getting well. Things I have done are terribly embarrassing, even if anonymous
Looking forward to getting better and hopefully being of support to others.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,746
Around two or three months I felt shaky in my sobriety. I started giving thanks every day for at least one good thing. It became a habit and it really makes my day better. Even if I don't say it out loud, to someone else, as long as I'm aware of my gratitude it works. And the more I am grateful, the more I have to be grateful for.
And being grateful for all I have going for me makes my sobriety more valuable as I realize just how much I could lose if I drank.
And being grateful for all I have going for me makes my sobriety more valuable as I realize just how much I could lose if I drank.
Last edited by least; 08-16-2011 at 06:25 PM. Reason: just because! ;-)
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,445
Welcome!
Try to remember that alcoholism is not a character defect, it's a disease.
I was a very strong person, too. I was a military wife for 22 years and moved about 13 times during those years. I don't think personal strength has anything to do with becoming an alcoholic, but I do think that you need to accept that you are an addict in order to recover.
What worked for me in the early days was changing my daily routines. Drive home from work a different way, plan to be out of the house or doing something else at the times you would have been drinking. And, I knew that drinking was the symptom. When I stopped drinking, I had to begin to deal with the underlying issues.
You'll find lots of support here, so keep reading and posting.
Try to remember that alcoholism is not a character defect, it's a disease.
I was a very strong person, too. I was a military wife for 22 years and moved about 13 times during those years. I don't think personal strength has anything to do with becoming an alcoholic, but I do think that you need to accept that you are an addict in order to recover.
What worked for me in the early days was changing my daily routines. Drive home from work a different way, plan to be out of the house or doing something else at the times you would have been drinking. And, I knew that drinking was the symptom. When I stopped drinking, I had to begin to deal with the underlying issues.
You'll find lots of support here, so keep reading and posting.
to SR. Glad you are here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 8
Thanks guys, I'm getting there!
Anna: I'm a military wife right now The husband is stationed clear across the country and just got back from a year in Afghanistan. I had to stay here with the kids and for my career
I'll get there with the admitting I'm an alcoholic thing. I mean, duh. I know I am, I just hate labeling myself that, KWIM? I like drinking problem better LOL. I'm new, I'll come around.
Anna: I'm a military wife right now
The husband is stationed clear across the country and just got back from a year in Afghanistan. I had to stay here with the kids and for my career I'll get there with the admitting I'm an alcoholic thing. I mean, duh. I know I am, I just hate labeling myself that, KWIM? I like drinking problem better LOL. I'm new, I'll come around.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,507
Pleased to meet you, wrecked. This is a wonderful place to discuss how you're feeling. Everyone understands exactly where you've been & what you're facing. It's good that nothing terrible has happened yet - you're wise to be stopping now.
Looking forward to hearing more from you. Congratulations on your 3 weeks! That's wonderful.
Looking forward to hearing more from you. Congratulations on your 3 weeks! That's wonderful.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 227
welcome WreckedExec (like the name btw)...
I know what you are saying about the term "alcoholic" - I don't use it myself - the label doesn't help me not drink.
I say I cannot control my drinking - or more like - I will NEVER be able to control my drinking. That's what I have to admit and remember.
I guess it's just semantics but whatever works for each of us is the right path.
I have relied heavily on this board but otherwise not in a program. There are lots of folks here using other methods or combinations of several - I'm sure they can give you some insights into alternatives. The AVRT method looks interesting but I haven't read much on it.
This board, the people here, the support and understanding - that's the main reason I haven't had a drink (or 6) for the past 6 weeks!
I know what you are saying about the term "alcoholic" - I don't use it myself - the label doesn't help me not drink.
I say I cannot control my drinking - or more like - I will NEVER be able to control my drinking. That's what I have to admit and remember.
I guess it's just semantics but whatever works for each of us is the right path.
I have relied heavily on this board but otherwise not in a program. There are lots of folks here using other methods or combinations of several - I'm sure they can give you some insights into alternatives. The AVRT method looks interesting but I haven't read much on it.
This board, the people here, the support and understanding - that's the main reason I haven't had a drink (or 6) for the past 6 weeks!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Martinsville, Ohio
Posts: 79
Step One was awful hard for me to admit, took years until I almost became a wrecked exec, person, father, husband and I mean totally wrecked. Have you considered outpatient? Your sobriety is more important than your job and if you don't get the right help you could lose everything, including your life. Sounds like you might need a support group led by a good counselor. I am sure it would be well worth your time. I really hope you find the help you need. After 4 1/2 months of rehab, AA, slowly getting back into my schedule I feel much better and have the most hope I ever had staying sober. I have lost the mental obsession with a serious step one, two, three but the "allergy to alchohol" will always be with me. One drink is too much because 1000 drinks won't be enough.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
I don't think the labels as important as understanding the truth of what drinking has played in your life and will play again if you pick up. For me the best thing about coming to crips with my alcoholism and myself as an alcoholic is that it helped shut the door on drinking that can never be opened again without letting the bad run free. My dis-ease doesn't particulary make me feel bad or ashamed or anything, it just is. I'm blessed to have an illness that will stay in remission as long as I stay in recovery. I'll play the cards dealt me because I believe I've got a winning hand. My best to you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Welcome to SR, Wrecked. You've come to the right place. I suspect most folks have a list of regrets; I know I do. But I'll echo Least's earlier post emphasizing gratitude. Eight months ago, I couldn't imagine life without alcohol—today I am so grateful to have escaped the whole exhausting cycle. For me, it's not about giving up alcohol anymore; it's about getting back my freedom and self-respect. That feels great.
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Welcome on board and congrats on 3 weeks!
There are alternatives to AA if you find that you really don't like it. I also agree with Fitz that labels are not super important. Call me whatever you want, the fact of the matter is me and alcohol don't mix well and if I go back to drinking it will kill me. I prefer to call that being an alcoholic, if you call that having a drinking problem then that's what you call it. No big deal. You will possibly get some sideways glances from some AA members if you aren't willing to call yourself that, but all you need to be a member is a desire to stop drinking, so don't let that stop you.
Best of luck in your recovery, we are all happy to be here to support you!
There are alternatives to AA if you find that you really don't like it. I also agree with Fitz that labels are not super important. Call me whatever you want, the fact of the matter is me and alcohol don't mix well and if I go back to drinking it will kill me. I prefer to call that being an alcoholic, if you call that having a drinking problem then that's what you call it. No big deal. You will possibly get some sideways glances from some AA members if you aren't willing to call yourself that, but all you need to be a member is a desire to stop drinking, so don't let that stop you.
Best of luck in your recovery, we are all happy to be here to support you!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 8
Thanks everyone Yes, horrible things have happened, but too ashamed to mention what they are. All that I kept was my job and my kids, luckily.
I should mention that I actually am allergic to alcohol, in the real sense I have massive food allergies and everything they use to make any sort of alcohol I am allergic too, but still kept on drinking like a moron.
Happy to be sober for these three weeks, looking to keep it that way forever. I like feeling good. Heading off on our vacation here in about an hour, a nice sober one with the kiddos and I'm just beaming and so excited. I'll actually be there this time LOL Whoot!
Thank you all so much. I am overwhelmed with the support here already, what a great place! I feel good about my recovery.
Have a wonderful sober day everyone
Yes, horrible things have happened, but too ashamed to mention what they are. All that I kept was my job and my kids, luckily. I should mention that I actually am allergic to alcohol, in the real sense
I have massive food allergies and everything they use to make any sort of alcohol I am allergic too, but still kept on drinking like a moron. Happy to be sober for these three weeks, looking to keep it that way forever. I like feeling good. Heading off on our vacation here in about an hour, a nice sober one with the kiddos and I'm just beaming and so excited. I'll actually be there this time LOL Whoot!
Thank you all so much. I am overwhelmed with the support here already, what a great place! I feel good about my recovery.
Have a wonderful sober day everyone
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
I admitted being an alcoholic for many years, still going out to drink again. 93 days ago I stopped battling and surrendered. Today I can admit it and accept it completely. Life is so much more tolerable and pleasant today.
Peace
Peace
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: CT
Posts: 181
Originally Posted by eJoshua 
I also agree with Fitz that labels are not super important. Call me whatever you want, the fact of the matter is me and alcohol don't mix well and if I go back to drinking it will kill me. . . . if you call that having a drinking problem then that's what you call it. No big deal.
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