LadyP

Hello, I'm not sure where to start. Aug my husband moved out. He said he was tired of fighting, suprised me I didn't realize we were fighting that often. Two days later he ended up in the hospital with an infection from a blister. He is diabetic. During the hospital stall it came out that he drank alot. Doc. said that was ok if he wanted to come back to have his leg removed within five years. What a wake up call.
Well when he got out (still living with his mom) It came out how often he was drinking. He worked 24 on 48 off. He'd pick up a Qrt on the way home drink until I got home, get up during the night, ect.. Well now he has stopped he hasn't drank since he was in the hosp. that any of us know of. I maybe nievie but I do believe him on this. His vanity wouldn't allow him to loose any body part.
He still wont come home. He said he wasn't an alcoholic just in a cycle that needed breaking. Maybe,but he fits every profile I've read. I'm doing the online al-anon stuff as much as I can. My bigest problem is he cant seem to figure out what he wants. Doesnt want to live with me but doesn't want to divorce me either. I know there isn't any other women.
He feels neglected is what he said. We have two teens in every club they can join, I work full time, go to collage(which started this neglect thing) and still have him and the house to run.
I put him thriugh the fire academy and EMT through Paramedic and he feels neglected now that I'm going to school. I've prayed hard. I tried to stop loving him. Some one asked about unconditional love on another post. I guess this would be a good example. I do love him and will no matter what. I just wish I under stood him. If you believe God answers prayers then I tell you he has been sending me messages to be patient and wait he just hasn't said how.
I hope I havent rambled to much I'm just confused and scared to make mistakes. Thank you for your time.

smoke gets in my eyes

Welcome LadyP.

If you believe you need to be patient and wait, you've found a good place to wait. There's usually someone around here to talk you through just about anything. Try not to let his confusing behavior get to you. He probably doesn't know what he wants right now. Early recovery can be full of physical and emotional turmoil.

At the top of the forum is a thread titled "power posts". It's just a collection of links to threads we thought might be particularly of interest to newcomers. Look around and make yourself at home. I'm glad you found us.

Hugs,
Smoke

JT

Welcome!

Where's the fire?? (sorry couldn't help myself! he he)

Is there a reason you can't give him some time? He obviously loves you and the family enough to not run for the hills. He is taking a breather. Rude? Perhaps.

If taking this time puts you both on a better path then it will have been well worth it. The rest has yet to be revealed.

Hugs,
JT

LadyP

Thank you both so much. I'm trying to be patient and give him time. Its just that know one ever taught me how. I thought I was a patient person because I can take the time to teach any one almost anything that I know, but it seems I'm only patient when I can see progress. I do believe he still loves me I just dont think he's so sure right now. When he braught up divorce I told him to make sure because I wasn't going to stay single waiting if he threw it all away. He dropped the whole subject and we arnt to mention it. He told me that he doesn't know if anything can make him happy. I told him then he cant be so sure that its me that makes him unhappy. thanks again

JT

Good answer Lady...and welcome to SR!!

Hugs,
JT

Worried Wife

I need help. My husband came home very drunk tonight and this is a culmination of years of heavy drinking. What steps can I take to get him help?

Kittycat

Worried, hello....
I am not the greatest to give aadvice...as my situation with my A...has a continuing Saga! But I do know this...there is NOTHING you can do but to help yourself. I tried evrything with my "a" nothing would ever make him change his drinking ways...finally I had enough, filed for divorce and put him out of our home. Amazing and by the hand of God this man...had a seizure that nearly killed him. He is now sober for one year, been trough detox, and is a faithful AA memeber...but life for us is still undone.
I wish I could give you the magic words that could help you...but .listen to these ladies...they will be your pilar and post and help you get through this.
Love...Kittycat

still learning

Lady and Worried
It's true - this is a very good place to be. Sending good thoughts your way as you make choices which feel good to you. Listen to your "inner voice". I am finally listening carefully to mine. If it "feels good" that's a pretty good indicator that I have made a good choice. If it "feels bad" I'm not "going there". Hope your day is filled with good choices. Keep coming back. It works!

12stepmarce

Welcome to recovery! I hope you also checked out Al-Anon meetings near you. That's where I learned the facts about alcoholism and how to live more comfortably with it.

Take care.....