What do you do to keep yourself centered?
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 104
What do you do to keep yourself centered?
Well, tonight, my AH is going out with his brother and some friends. He hasn't been out on his own in over a year. He's been glued to my hip like a cyst. I'm a homebody, always have been. Prefer to watch a movie or read a book than anything else. I've never been one to go to bars and clubs became annoying when I graduated college.
My AH is going bike riding around Washington DC. He used to do that sort of thing all the time when we first started dating. I'm glad he's getting out and doing something for himself. And, I'm looking forward to getting a manicure and watching a movie he has zero interest in seeing.
But, I couldn't help but feel some anxiety about the whole thing. Codie Alert! I keep repeating my mantras: I can not control him. He is a grown man and can take care of himself. I'm going to take care of ME and worry about ME.
It's hard to keep the codie actions and negative thoughts at bay.
What do you do to keep yourself centered?
My AH is going bike riding around Washington DC. He used to do that sort of thing all the time when we first started dating. I'm glad he's getting out and doing something for himself. And, I'm looking forward to getting a manicure and watching a movie he has zero interest in seeing.
But, I couldn't help but feel some anxiety about the whole thing. Codie Alert! I keep repeating my mantras: I can not control him. He is a grown man and can take care of himself. I'm going to take care of ME and worry about ME.
It's hard to keep the codie actions and negative thoughts at bay.
What do you do to keep yourself centered?
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 588
I read SR, and Alanon literature, and do something I like to do, like you said, something he probably wouldn't enjoy.
My AH doesn't go anywhere other than work these days either (I like your cyst description!). He's noticed that I am going out more and it made him uncomfortable. He made plans with a friend, and they fell through with no reschedule. And yes, my codie alert bell dinged a few times before I could turn it off.
It's uncanny how our lives can be so similar!
My AH doesn't go anywhere other than work these days either (I like your cyst description!). He's noticed that I am going out more and it made him uncomfortable. He made plans with a friend, and they fell through with no reschedule. And yes, my codie alert bell dinged a few times before I could turn it off.
It's uncanny how our lives can be so similar!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by wellnowwhat 
I read SR, and Alanon literature, and do something I like to do, like you said, something he probably wouldn't enjoy.
My AH doesn't go anywhere other than work these days either (I like your cyst description!). He's noticed that I am going out more and it made him uncomfortable. He made plans with a friend, and they fell through with no reschedule. And yes, my codie alert bell dinged a few times before I could turn it off.
It's uncanny how our lives can be so similar!
My AH doesn't go anywhere other than work these days either (I like your cyst description!). He's noticed that I am going out more and it made him uncomfortable. He made plans with a friend, and they fell through with no reschedule. And yes, my codie alert bell dinged a few times before I could turn it off.
It's uncanny how our lives can be so similar!
I haven't gone out in a while or done anything for myself. I was the codie who used to buy gifts for my AH all the time, hoping that would make him happy vs oxy. Two weeks ago, when I discovered I was a codie, I stopped with the gifts. He didn't say anything about it, but since I stopped buying things for him, he started buying things for ME.
It was weird coming home and him not being here. Aside from drug counseling and work, he's always here. Not sure how late he'll be out, but I've decided that nothing and no one can hurt me anymore. I'm a indestructible ninja! Whatever happens tonight is going to happen. And, more likely than not, I'll get myself all worked up for nothing. But, it helps me to be here. Gives me strength when I feel the crazy pushing in on me.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by KC79
I pray. I also play with my 16 month old daughter and she keeps me centered.
Have a nice evening doing something special for you.
KC
Have a nice evening doing something special for you.
KC
Yep, I'm 36 and on my 2nd marriage. Multiple marriages runs in my family, so I'm trying to break the record which my aunt currently holds - 5! haha
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