Enough is enough, time for a change
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2
Enough is enough, time for a change
Hi everyone. I joined this group for support and advice. I can't keep living my life the way I have been up to this point. I need to make a change starting right now.
To give a bit of background, I started drinking at an early age. I was 16,had access to alcohol through older friends and my parents didn't care if I drank as long as it was "safely." I pretty much drank to blackout every weekend and more than a few times was woken up by a cold shower bc I had blacked out and my boyfriend at the time wanted to make sure I didn't die.
I finally hit the point where I couldn't drink anymore. Period. I gave up alcohol completely for 3 years and started drinking again when I was 21. It was pretty casually and normally wasn't excessive until recently again. I am in an amazing relationship with someone I love very much. I binge drink pretty much every time I drink anymore. My boyfriend can't drink when we go out because he knows he's going to have to be the DD. It makes me feel horrible that I can't control my drinking. I don't have the urge to always drink, but once I have one drink all bets are off and I binge.
At least 2 times in the last 2 months I have gone to work hungover, and another 3-4 times I have just called out sick because I was hungover. I did it again last night and am home today instead of at work as a result. This is not how I want to live my life. I need to make a change starting today and since I can't control myself when I start drinking, the only option is to not drink. I know it won't be easy, but I love my life without alcohol. I just need a support system to keep me honest and focused. I will have my boyfriend by my side the whole time but my dad passed away last year and the rest of my family is kind of in shambles. Plus I'm embarrassed. So it's not like I feel like announcing to everyone that I have self control issues and need their help.
So that's why I'm here. To get support from others and help others like me.
To give a bit of background, I started drinking at an early age. I was 16,had access to alcohol through older friends and my parents didn't care if I drank as long as it was "safely." I pretty much drank to blackout every weekend and more than a few times was woken up by a cold shower bc I had blacked out and my boyfriend at the time wanted to make sure I didn't die.
I finally hit the point where I couldn't drink anymore. Period. I gave up alcohol completely for 3 years and started drinking again when I was 21. It was pretty casually and normally wasn't excessive until recently again. I am in an amazing relationship with someone I love very much. I binge drink pretty much every time I drink anymore. My boyfriend can't drink when we go out because he knows he's going to have to be the DD. It makes me feel horrible that I can't control my drinking. I don't have the urge to always drink, but once I have one drink all bets are off and I binge.
At least 2 times in the last 2 months I have gone to work hungover, and another 3-4 times I have just called out sick because I was hungover. I did it again last night and am home today instead of at work as a result. This is not how I want to live my life. I need to make a change starting today and since I can't control myself when I start drinking, the only option is to not drink. I know it won't be easy, but I love my life without alcohol. I just need a support system to keep me honest and focused. I will have my boyfriend by my side the whole time but my dad passed away last year and the rest of my family is kind of in shambles. Plus I'm embarrassed. So it's not like I feel like announcing to everyone that I have self control issues and need their help.
So that's why I'm here. To get support from others and help others like me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2
Thanks! You are so right about no better time than now! I'm just so fed up with the whole thing. It's a horrible cycle that ends with me being so upset with myself and it's unnecessary. I'm trying to focus on things that are positives in my life and add to my happiness and drinking doesnt. It has become a very dark cloud in my life. But no more.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by Needtochange7 
Hi everyone. I joined this group for support and advice. I can't keep living my life the way I have been up to this point. I need to make a change starting right now.
Stick around, I'm sure others will chime in shortly.
Came to Believe
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Montgomery AL
Posts: 507
Welcome to SR. It's good to have the support of family and friends, but it's best to have the support of other people who have a problem with alcohol and can understand exactly what you're going through. You've come to the right place.
--Fenris.
--Fenris.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
Welcome Needtochange7! You have us to lean on now - you are no longer alone.
My life spun out of control every time I drank. Yet I kept insisting that I could use my willpower to manage it. That never worked, but I went on drinking until my life was a shambles. DUI's, health problems, ruined relationships, embarassment at work - who needs to live that way? You've made a wise decision at a young age - you'll never have to go through what so many of us have.
Be proud that you've seen the light - you can do this, and we'll help.
My life spun out of control every time I drank. Yet I kept insisting that I could use my willpower to manage it. That never worked, but I went on drinking until my life was a shambles. DUI's, health problems, ruined relationships, embarassment at work - who needs to live that way? You've made a wise decision at a young age - you'll never have to go through what so many of us have.
Be proud that you've seen the light - you can do this, and we'll help.
to SR.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 35
The fact that you have your boyfriend to help can be a really good thing. A support team can be vital to recovery.
Also, I fully understand missing work as I've been under the same pattern for quite a long time now. My company thinks I have a different disorder (since us drinkers can be quite good at covering it up). I haven't used an actual vacation day as I should in a few years since all my vacation days are used to recover from hangovers.
But, best of luck in stopping. Just remember that whatever method you use to stop, if it doesn't work consider trying something different. Otherwise your current lifestyle may continue for quite a long time.
Also, I fully understand missing work as I've been under the same pattern for quite a long time now. My company thinks I have a different disorder (since us drinkers can be quite good at covering it up). I haven't used an actual vacation day as I should in a few years since all my vacation days are used to recover from hangovers.
But, best of luck in stopping. Just remember that whatever method you use to stop, if it doesn't work consider trying something different. Otherwise your current lifestyle may continue for quite a long time.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Good to have you join us, Needtochange - I can relate.....My intentions to stop after a couple of drinks never worked either. I sure did try (over and over), though.
When I found this forum, the support here really inspired me to quit for good. Even though it was a bit scary at first, I'm so glad I'm sober today. No more dreaded mornings.....
Thanks for sharing your story - you can do this!:ghug3
When I found this forum, the support here really inspired me to quit for good. Even though it was a bit scary at first, I'm so glad I'm sober today. No more dreaded mornings.....
Thanks for sharing your story - you can do this!:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
Hi, Needtochange, and welcome to SR!
I, too, know that feeling of waking up in the morning feeling disgusting - mentally and physically...not being 100% in the day, never knowing which night I'd be able to drink normally and which night would end on a binge. Ugh, it's exhausting!!
You've got a long stretch of sobriety behind you (congrats on that!), and you can definitely do it again. Great decision.
I, too, know that feeling of waking up in the morning feeling disgusting - mentally and physically...not being 100% in the day, never knowing which night I'd be able to drink normally and which night would end on a binge. Ugh, it's exhausting!!
You've got a long stretch of sobriety behind you (congrats on that!), and you can definitely do it again. Great decision.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA.
Posts: 123
Hello needtochange7! It feels a bit odd for me to welcome you here since I just joined today, but welcome! You are not alone. I am pretty much in the same boat as you are. I got smashed last night, called in sick for work today because of a bad hangover and feel the usual guilt, shame etc. Like you, am sick of living this way and want to live a sober life. We can do this!!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
Please know that you are not alone.
Shame is one of the aspects of addiction that keeps us hooked. You can transform your shame into pride and courage as you begin to recover.
SR is my lifeline.
Shame is one of the aspects of addiction that keeps us hooked. You can transform your shame into pride and courage as you begin to recover.
SR is my lifeline.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,919
Welcome!
As Anna said the guilt and shame caused by our drinking can seem overwhelming. It get's better with time. Do you have a plan to stop drinking? Many of us have tried to do it on our own and found that very difficult. I finally gave up and went to AA and that has made a big difference (along with SR).
As Anna said the guilt and shame caused by our drinking can seem overwhelming. It get's better with time. Do you have a plan to stop drinking? Many of us have tried to do it on our own and found that very difficult. I finally gave up and went to AA and that has made a big difference (along with SR).
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