1undone

I told my sponsor and a close friend from AA about my relapse. It's hard because I just don't want to go to the meeting tonight and talk about it but I have to. My AA Sister is going to go for coffee with me before the meeting to kinda chill me out and help.

My sponsor told me I have to go to 90 meetings in 90 days. Ummmm I don't know how that exactly is going to work for me since I also see a Psychiatrist and Psychologist, not to mention my regular doctors and a full time job. But she told me "no excuses." I didn't respond to that. I will go to as many as I can but I just don't think that's realistic.

A lot of what was said (typed) to me last night from some of you was heart warming and got me through the evening. I really felt alone and defective, I guess i still do. I sometimes wonder if I have a self distruct gene that I can't shake. I've battled so much and I'm just trying not to get tired. I'm always fighting something. This isn't how I want my life to be darn it!!!!

sugarbear1

For me, I drank everyday. For hours in a row.

A me, an hour plus a little travel time with feeling great is not a big deal. I go to save my life.

You'll figure it out.

Missy7

Let's get to those meeting 1undone--we are both struggling a bit.

I'm leaving for one in five minutes. It's a 45 minute drive but I've been once before and am not scared. Honest. Not scared.

1undone

Mine is at 7:30 tonight. It's my home group so at least it's the one I'm most comfortable at.

Elisabeth888

Ugh, I hated going back this last time. It was humbling and it sucked, but I am glad I went, picked up the white chip and shared.

After relapsing a kajillion times I am finally listening to my sponsor and doing 90 in 90. My way clearly was not working. I am on day 66 today.

Good for you for going back to AA. Some people stay out a long time or never return.

Hang in there!!

eJoshua

I never did 90 in 90. I tried, pathetically, last spring. It didn't turn out too well.

I think it's a great idea though. If you're like me, dedicating 1 hour to sobriety per day for three months is nothing compared to the time you dedicated to drinking every day. But then again, maybe you're not like me.

Best of luck in your recovery! I'm glad you got back on and are fighting for your life again.

Zebra1275

90 in 90 is a good idea but really tough if you have a job and other commitments. Would your sponsor be ok with you attending 2 a day on the weekends to give you a little flexibility?

1undone

I think I'll probably do a couple on the weekends. That's basically a difficult time for me anyway. I just hope I don't get impatient with hearing the same people talk too much. I will do whatever I have to to stay alive!!!!

eJoshua

What a great attitude to have! You are going to be just fine.

ajangel

There is no way I could do 90 in 90. If I haven't been to a meeting, I try to do 2 in a day. I know I need to go to meetings but I do have commitments. Do what you are able to do. Good luck

Missy7

My meeting was cancelled after that drive. And I'm having trouble finding a women's meeting on Saturday up here. I might have to go hang out with men.

I guess I have hung out with plenty of men in bars...

1undone

Missy, one thing I'm not particularly fond of when it comes to AA is how disorganized some of the chapters can be. It doesn't sound like you let it get you down! I also wonder why they make it so hard to make sure some of the meetings are still current. Just because we are anonymous doesn't mean mean everything has to be so cryptic. It's bad enough when it's your first meeting but to go and find out it's not there? It happens all the time! But when you're desperate for help you'll figure it out.

StPeteGrad

It only takes two for a meeting

michelle01

I missed your other thread, wasn't here at the time, but taking this from it

Who are you getting sober for? For yourself or because you feel you must do it to keep someone else happy? I found when I tried that, I ultimately felt resentment towards those who were 'stopping me' from my lifestyle.

Sobriety began to work for me when I realized it came down to me and it was something I wanted to do for my own benefit, selfish as that sounds (it's not really).

1undone

Michelle, deff doing this for me and to stay alive!!!! I used to be the person you describe above but not anymore. This isn't a joke and is a life or death situation for me.