C105

I was doing so GREAT, six months of sobriety began in January. And then I took over a failing business my husband bought (read that as "was bullied into taking it over") And now I'm working 12 hours a day,, 7 days a week at something I never even wanted to do. I held on to my sobriety for a few weeks and then one morning I woke up with bruises covering my body. I'd fallen during the night - black out drunk - and I'd NEVER done that before. Its been downhill since
Poured out all the wine last night. Needed to find my way back here. There's better ways to handle life.

Opivotal

Welcome back C105! I'm happy to hear your getting back into recovery. Blackouts are so scary and dangerous. It's amazing what we do to ourselves isn't it? I remember waking up miserable and bruised. Nothing can be solved by drinking...I sure found that out. Today is a new day, you can turn this around.


Best Wishes To You!

C105

I think its harder coming back after a fall then it was coming here the first time. I feel like an idiot.

LawMama

Try not to get down on yourself.

You aren't a failure until you quit trying. And here you are, trying.

ttbp

Don't feel like an idiot. We suffer from an illness where relapse can happen

Great that you're back here x

Dee74

Welcome back C105

Personally, I think you've made a very smart move coming back and making a commitment to turn things around again

D

AcceptingChange

well done on 6 months! That's a great accomplishment.
Don't feel bad because you didn't achieve the perfection you wanted.
Feel good, because you accomplished 6 months, and you're working so hard as well.

Now we start the next 6 months.
You've accomplished a lot.

Opivotal

Never feel like an idiot....your human, and I admire you for getting back into recovery! Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes relapse makes us stronger. Your not alone and certainly not the first to be humbled by alcohol.



Best Wishes To You!

sugarbear1

Each time was harder than the time before for me. I don't want to go there again!

sugarbear1

You aren't an idiot, just a sick person wanting to get well.

Threshold

I'm so glad you are back! Having relapsed myself, I understand the feeling like an idiot part, but clearly you are not. You are back, you know that if you work at recovery you CAN stay clean, you have 6 months of experience to prove it.

It's finally sinking in for me that when I am stressed it makes NO sense to add to that by picking up, which only adds stress.

My basic fear is that I am not enough to handle my own life, but when I come here, I am reminded I don't do it alone. There is all this collective experience available to help me do this recovery thing and this thing called life.

raindancer11

This is what helps me the most this time around. I felt like an idiot too but after spending some time on this site, I feel so much better about myself. Glad you're back, C105!

artsoul

Please don't feel like an idiot! We're just glad you're back (and those 6 months still count).

I hope things can work out with the business so that you're not so over-loaded. I know that I have to work at keeping my stress level down. I'm not one of those people who stops to smell the roses, so it's a learning process.

Take it one day at a time and remember to be kind to yourself - you're worth it.:ghug3

Zebra1275

You would be an idiot if you didn't come back here.

You had 6 months sober, that's great. Are you working a program like AA?

It sounds what what you have is a big resentment over your business. The Big Book of AA says that resentment is the #1 reason alcoholics start drinking again. I've done the research, and in my case that's true. The program of AA has helped me to identify and handle resentments without a bottle.