TMZ

How are we to know when the addict hit rock bottom?

I mean they are such good manipulators, how are we as parents suppose to know they are really ready to heal?

dollydo

Action, action and more action. Forget the words, sit back and watch what transpires, then and only then will you know the truth.

Kindeyes

I don't have an answer to your question. I thought my son hit bottom a few bottoms ago.

gentle hugs
ke

sojourner

TMZ: Good question. I can only relate what I have read from recovering addicts. I get the impression that many times an addict will hit some point where they are willing to get help but only because they are miserable at the moment and really intend to get back to business-as-usual as soon as they feel better; then, after some time in recovery they realize they no longer have the energy to go back to using again. Others don't experience it that way.

Like any situation, there's no cookie cutter path. The only thing that we can do is to still distance ourselves and have watchful waiting. Another thing I have realized is that the distance I'm practicing now (with my son in active addiction) is also the kind of distance it is best to practice when (God willing) he moves into recovery. It's not good for me (or him) for me to take a front-row seat to his active addiction or to his active recovery.

Hope that helps.

iliveforyou

Hard to say. I'm a recovering drug addict/alcoholic. I've had several rock bottom's during my 10 + years of using. First was state prison for possession. Never touched heroin/crack again. My addiction then went to alcohol. My rock bottom there was a DUI. Then pills...When I was in more misery using than not using. Didn't recognize myself anymore. To quote a song, "I hardly remember the look of my own eyes".

Everyone is different and so are the rock bottoms. Sometimes addicts don't have to reach that rock bottom to stop using/drinking.

-Jess

kmangel

You just have to wait and see if your loved one who is an addict has reached his/her bottom or not. I'm hoping my son has reached his bottom and as a recovering addict will never return to using again. He seems willing to get counseling now, to work on his recovery, whereas before his dad and I had no impact at all in what we said--in one ear and out the other. We're cautiously optimistic now. The work to be done is his and his alone. We can only support and encourage.

BeingStill

It's impossible for us to know if our ALOs have hit bottom unless we're psychic and can read their minds. There is no description or signs to look for because everyone's is different. Some addicts bounce around down there at the bottom for quite a long time before saying enough is enough. Some hit bottom and never make it out.

You ask how we know if they really mean it when they say they're ready to heal. In my experience, an addict can honestly mean those words many, many times. It's not so much about the wanting, but rather the maintaining. Recovery is a long distance marathon without a finish line. That's why we say one day at a time. It can be very overwhelming to think about having to do something forever. Breaking it into one day increments is far more manageable.

To me, it's not so much about whether or not the addict wants to heal. I believe they all do. It's about whether or not the addict is ready to do the long-haul work of recovery.

Lestersquare

I'm not sure when my wife hit bottom.

What I do know is that I hit first.

outtolunch

I used to wonder about my daughter's bottom ( pun intended), too.

The more I focused on her, the less I focused on my own issues- rather convenient, eh.

I still have days where I CRAVE to get into her business ( not drug related) and have to force myself to stay in my own hula-hoop.