Notices

Feeling very antsy

Old 08-11-2011, 12:36 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 5
Feeling very antsy

Hello all

A little bit about myself.....I am a 32 yr old mother to a wonderful 5 yr old boy.....the light of my life. My husband and I have been trying to have another baby for the past 4 years. We thought it just wasn't going to happen for us. Well, around 5 weeks ago, I found out I was pregnant. Talk about an emotional roller coaster. Although elation was at the top of the list of my emotions, sadly fear was also a big one. Fear about having to stop drinking. Have not drank since the day before I found out....37 days now Wow, has it been tough. Especially it being the summer. Even though I enjoy beer year round, I especially enjoy it during the summer. I suppose, though, knowing that I absolutely cannot drink has made it a bit easier.

I guess you could call myself a "closet alcoholic". No one knows or knew how much I drank except for my husband and myself. Well, in 2 days we leave for a 2 week vacation down the shore. I should be so excited as I normally am for vacation. What is wrong with me? Well, I know what is wrong I guess. I won't be drinking on this vacation. We are going with my husband's parents, his brother, sister-in-law, and their two young girls. I am just so full of dread and fear. They like to break out the beers, and margaritas, and wine, etc. at around 5 each night. And that's fine, I cannot be mad at them as they do not have a problem with drinking....nor do they know how much of a struggle it will be for me to watch them drink. I was at a BBQ a few weeks ago and I had to leave because it was so difficult for me to be around people drinking. I don't know how I will handle this for 2 straight weeks.

The last thing I want to sound like is a whiny, ungrateful brat. I know I'm so fortunate to be going on vacation to my favorite place in the world with the ones I love. Why do I feel like drinking is such a huge part of vacation. I guess I'm realizing that I've always made it such a huge part. I am just so extremely irritable and I feel like I will snap at someone while down there.

Any advice is greatly appreciated God bless you all.
beachlove is offline  
Old 08-11-2011, 01:06 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Life the gift of recovery!
 
nandm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Welcome to SR.

Congrats on the upcoming new baby. I no longer have any small children in my life except my 2 year old grandson who is autistic. I do know what a struggle it is though to raise children. My oldest two are a year and a half apart. I wound up being a single parent for most of their lives. Unfortunately I was an alcoholic as well. I did not find sobriety until they were 15 and 16. But they have not seen me drink in the past 10 years. They tell me often how happy they are that they have a sober mother after all the years of living with me drunk. I think one of the biggest gifts we can give to our children is being sober enough to enjoy them. To remember those moments that we can easily pass right on by when drinking. I do not remember my children taking their first steps. I can not remember most of their birthdays when I was drinking. There are so many moments we can not get back that in retrospect would have meant so much but they are lost in time somewhere.

As far as vacations are concerned. I know I did not know how to do anything without drinking. Everything I did was centered in some way around alcohol. It took a lot of time and relearning how to do things sober. Even things that sound so simple as working in the garden on a hot day. That was always an excuse to have a cooler full of cold beer nearby. Today, I truly enjoy my garden as I can fully appreciate the beauty of it. I had to also learn how to vacation without drinking and I can not say it was an easy task but worth it in the long run. Today I remember my vacations and actually am doing those things I used to sit around drinking and dreaming about. The only advice that I can give you is just focus on staying sober today. Each day start out with focusing on just not drinking that day, don't look to not drinking tomorrow or worry about what you have done in the past. Concentrate on those things you can change which is the here and now. You can't change the past but learn from it which gives you a starting point of what you do not want to do. With that start you have a goal which is simple, don't drink today.

Do hang in there. SR is a wonderful place to find support, and encouragement. I do hope you stick around and find the sobriety you seek.
nandm is offline  
Old 08-11-2011, 01:15 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
recoverywfaith's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 2,464
to SR.


I know a few here at SR...whom posted/read the SR forum while on vacation for support. And, maybe something to look foward to in sobriety with your family on your next vacation...I hear there are some really good sober vacations.
recoverywfaith is offline  
Old 08-11-2011, 01:22 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: texas
Posts: 10
Beachlove. The only time I quit drinking was when I found out I was pregnant. It's seems easy to quit the drinking (you have no choice), but hard to acclimate oneself to socializing and familiar past drinking patterns. The vacation might be hard at first, but you've been sober for 37 days. Don't set yourself up. Think about the things you love about the trip and enjoy that.

You don't sound whiney at all! This could be difficult, but your attitude will make all the difference. If need be you could bring some good books and excuse yourself a little early. Hang in there and congratulations!
makemyday is offline  
Old 08-11-2011, 01:23 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,328
Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Maybe you can change your perspective and focus on different aspects of the vacation. If people start drinking about 5pm, how about taking a long walk on the beach at that time? After dinner, maybe you can play with your child and the other children who are there. I spent a week at a lakeshore cottage with my kids, their spouses and my grand-children and we all had the best time. We focused on the kids and cooking and playing in the water and it was super.
Anna is online now  
Old 08-11-2011, 02:07 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,415
Hi beachlove! I used to wonder how I'd ever enjoy anything again without booze. That was a very twisted attitude, but one I had my whole life. I imagined everything would be huge bore without my fix. Holidays, vacations - everything involved getting numb. Now I see how ridiculous and sad that was. You asked why you feel drinking is such a huge part of vacation - I wish I had an answer. I know I spent beautiful summer days enjoying the beach as a child - no need for booze then.

I had to learn how to enjoy things in a different way. Thanks to my drinking habit, I literally didn't know how to have fun when I was sober. In the beginning, it seemed very strange - but now I'm so thankful to feel healthy & clearheaded - and no horrible hangovers.

I commend you for coming here to talk about this - you're among people who truly understand! Congratulations on your new baby
Hevyn is offline  
Old 08-11-2011, 03:07 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
Some great advice here beachlove

I agree with Hevyn - the best vacations of my life as a child and teenager...involved no alcohol at all.

I drank for 20 years and daily for the last 5 of those - I did everything with a drink...it's hard to break that lifestyle but it's far from impossible - and you're not alone here

You won't regret it
Welcome to SR!

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 08-11-2011, 06:16 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 5
Thank you so much to everyone for your replies, your thoughtful words of encouragement and your suggestions to make the trip a bit "easier" I also think of the many many summers as a young child and as a teenager that I had an absolute blast-WITHOUT drinking. What I love most about the shore is the tranquility, the smell, the sounds of the ocean, the family togetherness-just the overall aura of it all. I plan on focusing on all of those things as I'm experiencing them. And to truly enjoy and appreciate every moment of it. Most of all, I'm super excited to spend a sober vacation with my little guy Going for a walk to get icecream with him instead of saying no because I'd rather sit on the porch and drink.....reading him his bedtime stories instead of having his mom-mom read them to him because I'm busy drinking.....you get the picture.....

I think between around 6ish and 9 will be the hardest time for me. I just have to focus on getting through those hours.....then enjoying some dessert, reading, and going to bed! I am also excited to get up EARLY in the morning!!! Go for a walk, get the paper, have some tea....and doughnuts of course Rather than being the last one in the house to get up, walking into the kitchen all blurry eyed with everyone else already up and almost finished breakfast.

Thank you again so much everyone.....your encouragement has truly lifted my spirits and has me excited for this vacation

P.S. Oh, I finally worked up the nerve to ask my husband that he not drink in the house while on vaca. I said I did not mind if he went to a happy hour here and there, but to please just not drink in the house.....he jokingly asked if he could on the porch. So, anyway, I don't think he will and that will be a huge support to me. Not trying to be selfish or unreasonable, but I am carrying his child and I think I do deserve the support
beachlove is offline  
Old 08-11-2011, 06:27 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,415
That's the spirit, beachlove - replace all those drinking hours with other activities. I so regret the time I spent drinking as my son was growing up - wish I could have those years back. You'll never have that regret!

It'll be great to enjoy the early mornings at the beach without the dreaded hangover. I think you'll be surprised at how little you'll miss the drinks.
Hevyn is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:15 PM.