EmeraldRose

I am writing this as a testiment of sobriety for those of you that feel as though your souls are lost without booze.
I know alot of newcomers here are struggling with sobriety or even just the 'thought' of sobriety for any length of time. It's scary to give up your best friend, as you know it. It's like giving up your right arm.
The feelings of guilt, shame and resentment from drinking are accompanied with lonliness, boredom and pain of the past when sober. Now what do I do? How will I ever live my life completely without booze. How will I ever have fun? What will people think of me?
I think part of the problem is that most of us have been drinking for so long we have lost ourselves. We truly don't know how to act, what to think or how to feel about certain situations. When a feeling errupts in our hearts we truly don't know the correct emotion to attach to it.
I have been alone since quitting. For a couple months I didn't 'need' to deal with the feelings. No, I didn't supress them (again) but they weren't stirred so the dust had settled, sobriety set in and everything was on an even keel.
My recovery was extremely important and I took my rehab and aftercare very seriously. I never missed a meeting -even icy Midwest February roads didn't keep me from the 35 mile hike. The couselors said "I got it". I know where I need to be, I know what I need to do...I feel I am doing it. I changed my world...everything, every habit, every second.
Four months ago I got a good job. Not good start pay and the gas was (is) killing me. But I put my best foot forward, always smiled...and decided I was going to be the best employee and a good role model for other new employees. Because I know something they don't know -the secret of sobriety.
The manager was impressed with my attendance record, my organization and need for cleanliness of my work area and my willingness to take responsibility for any mistakes and not make them again. I have learned that through sobriety...making mistakes is ok...just don't make the same one twice!
I would never have been so maticulous and prompt had I been drinking.
So fast forward to this week...my sobriety, eagerness, responsible manners have paid off. I was offered a promotion with a 50 cent/hour raise in a different department.
My emotions have been forming, developing. Today was fun...we laughed, we smiled...I had an incident the other day that made me sad. But I can decipher my emotions, embrace them, enjoy them and live with them. I have learned to be alive without booze. I know this post may seem all over the place but what I am trying to say is that sobriety is everything you could ever hope for -and more...but you have to live it. Get in touch with that higher power, pull strength from your heart and soul to move on in life and live. There is SO much more beyond heading back to the bottle. Please keep trying no matter what type of recovery plan you have. Action is the key to success. You can't expect good things if you don't act on them.
And be patient with yourself. Learn how to take a breather, find that time to talk to the sky, count the stars, rub your dogs belly...life is so so miserable and short when we get angry, impatient and irritable. Live Love Learn.
Love you all and wish you all a sober evening.

eJoshua

Thank you ER, that's a wonderful post. Congratulations on your promotion, that's a real testament to your work ethic to be promoted in such a short amount of time.