saphira

So I've been trying to make plans for myself for the 5 days that my family will be gone, leaving me alone in my house for the longest time I've faced sober. I'm starting to see that 5 days is a long time-- a lot of time to think and that's usually when I get into trouble. I had a couple questions for all of you who go to AA (I'll be the first one to admit I know very little about it.)

First of all, I've never gone to a meeting before but I was wondering if that would be something I could do during these 5 days. Is it ok to go to a meeting for added support even if you might not plan on attending regularly? Or is that seen as disrespectful?

Second, if I do go to a meeting, is there pressure to talk? I know I've heard people here say before that you don't HAVE to talk, but is it asked of you? Or can you just listen and take it all in?

I feel like I've been doing really well on my own, but for all I know, I might go to a meeting and find out I love it. Who knows. I guess I just don't want to seem like I'm disrespectful if I were only to go a couple of times when I need it and then not go anymore. Any help would be appreciated.

Mark75

Go to some meetings, try several different ones. You don't have to say anything. If you find one you like, keep going back!

If you are alcoholic you can attend both open and closed meetings... Try several different kinds... Big Book, Discussion, Speaker...

JimE

You don't have to talk or keep going back if you don't wish to. Depending on where you live there should be a variety of types of meetings to check out. It's a place to take your shoes off so to speak and relax.

Fenris

Your First AA Meeting<

PaperDolls

saphira - great questions.

You can attend meetings with no intention of sticking with it. Not a problem. The only requirement is that you have a desire to stop drinking.

There is no requirement to talk .... you may be asked if you'd like to share. If so, just say something like, no thanks, I'd just like to listen.

Don't stress yourself out ... I think most of us felt very similar at the beginning. I know I did. Now I love it!

Good luck to you!

Snarf

Hey saphira. Hope you're having a good day!

I think AA meetings are an EXCELLENT way to kill some down time. When I first stopped drinking, I basically spent as much time as I could in the AA rooms; 4 meetings the first day, 9 over the next 3 days...and kept that going for a while. Honestly, the AA rooms were about the only places I felt safe. They were the only places where I KNEW I wouldn't drink, so I was there a lot. And it was very beneficial for me.

At the meetings I attend, there is absolutely no pressure to speak. It is all done voluntarily, and quite often I say nothing and just sit and listen to other people. Actually, I usually don't speak at meetings unless there's something on my heart that I really need to share.

I would ask you to please not be scared away from AA meetings based on negative things you have heard. Every meeting is different, and every person at those meetings is different. I've been to meetings I did not like at all, and I've also been to meetings that I never wanted to end because they were so inspirational and uplifting.

Even if you get there and you feel that the AA program isn't "for you," who knows what else may happen? You could meet someone with whom you have a lot in common, and that person may be able to help you in your recovery. But you'll never know if you never go.

I hope you're able to be productive and constructive while your family is out of town. If things get rough, you know we'll always be here.

Raindance

It is not disrespectful to attend for support in any way.

If you aren't comfortable speaking a common phrase is, "I'd like to just listen tonight".

saphira

Thanks everyone-- I think I'll give it a try. I found a listing of some meetings in my area. What have I got to lose, right?

camedown

One hour, just one hour. I think the whole living thingy is worth one hour.

CarolD

Good for you.....

My suggestion is to simply go ..relax and listen to our shareing.
some meetings may ask if you wish to speak....if you do not...
"I'm here to listen thanks" is perfectly ok.

eJoshua

I agree with everything everyone else said.

Post back after you've gone with your impressions! I like to hear from people after they go to their first meeting, even if it's just to say that you HATED it (or loved it)

Good luck during those 5 days!

Zebra1275

You've got 5 days off, that's a great opportunity to go to several different meetings and check it out. If you don't have anything to say, don't talk.

saphira

I admit, ever since I've quit drinking I've been wanting to go to a meeting and had planned to, but my social phobia always got in the way! I don't like crowds at all-- they make me panic, but I feel like the payoff is worth the discomfort in this scenario. Plus I feel like maybe in this setting I could just be open with my social anxiety if it comes to it? I don't know... I definitely have an easier time going to places where I know it's sort of about bettering yourself and where I don't have to feel like something's wrong with me. Ya know? Anyway...I'm looking forward to it. I will take all of your advice and just RELAX (or try to!) and listen with open ears. I will definitely report back. I'll either go to the one tomorrow or Thursday. Thanks so much for making me feel better about this!!

Zebra1275

Glad you made the decision to go. After a few meetings you might surprise yourself and talk, that's happened to others.

Snarf

I wouldn't worry to much about your anxiety or discomfort or anything like that. After all, in an AA meeting you'll be surrounded by alcoholics/drunks/people with serious problems. Seriously, everybody in those rooms has issues, or else we wouldn't be there. In fact, it would be entirely too odd for a "normal" person to come walking through the doors.

Remember why you are there: To help yourself live a better life.

ACT10Npack

It comes down to if you want to work on recovery on your own or in meetings like AA or SOS. For myself I feel more conformable doing it on my own. It's just my personal and I'm doing really will and moving on with myself with dealing my problems head on and not using alcohol to avoid stuff. You may find it harder. Try it and see how you feel. It will never hurt.

omegasupreme

Welcome welcome welcome. We would love to have you at our meetings...and you are under no obligation to stay, cool if you do though. You could ask for a Big Book while you are there. My experience is that most groups tend to give them freely to the newcomer...then you would have some exciting literature to read over the 5 days.

I found that even after 2yrs sober my meeting experience is always (pretty bold statement) better if I ask the God of my understanding to cast aside any prejudice I may have about the people, meeting, AA, etc...because ya see, what this does is allows me to have an open mind for a new experience.

sugarbear1

Most people in meetings have similiar social phobias. They are there to save their life. Those who seem comfortable may seem that way because they have been working their program and have changed through learning about themselves and growing up a bit.
Best wishes!

chicagoJ

I've only been to 1 meeting and was nervous when I went. When I actually got there I was really nervous. But, I found that when I said this was my first AA meeting everyone acknowledged that and I was able to relax a lot more. They kind of geared the meeting to help me by letting everyone else talk about AA and the program, gave me numbers to call in case I needed to, and gave me a free copy of the big book.

saphira

After hearing you all talk, I'm actually getting excited! I'm planning on going to one tomorrow morning at 8:00 before my niece and nephew come over for the day. I'll let you all know how it goes! Wish me luck!!