Captain's Log....my latest update
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
Captain's Log....my latest update
It's been a while since I've posted an update about me and I think this is a good time to catch everyone up.
Shields are down an all is running smoothly. I've been feeling pretty good about myself and still making progress in my recovery. It seems that I've taken care of the major stuff and the things I'm working on now are more subtle.
I've helped my AW move to a smaller apartment over the last couple of weekends. It seems like she is starting to get it. She is talking about recovery rather than look at all the classes I've attended, and admitted to needing to live a sober life style. I'm very proud of her and as captain have awarded her the rank of RAW. She is going to AA but prefers a private therapist. I have no complaints with that. Whatever works works. I guess all the drama was required so that we could both be where we are now.
What I have to watch myself with is a couple of things. The big one is not to jump in and start to manage her recovery for her. That would be REAL BAD for both of us. The second is that I need to be objective and realize that her recovery might not last or that even bigger, our relationship has and will change big time. Just me changing will cause that.
So patience is my key word for now. I feel really good about me and I have some hope about us.
I have been really working the mindfulness tool and it has worked really well. I think part of the reason I have had so much success with it is because I have had years of experience being mindful for a different reason.
I am a type 2 diabetic who manages my diabetes through diet and exercise. I am very mindful about what I eat and when. I guess it wasn't that difficult to apply the same tool to a different process. So, it appears I needed that experience as a diabetic to be able to learn to handle what was going on in my life with my A. My HP obviously has a funny sense of humor.
So, no drama and some progress. Life is good.
Edit, rereading the post I have come to the conclusion that I really need another word for really, really, I really mean it.
Your friend,
Shields are down an all is running smoothly. I've been feeling pretty good about myself and still making progress in my recovery. It seems that I've taken care of the major stuff and the things I'm working on now are more subtle.
I've helped my AW move to a smaller apartment over the last couple of weekends. It seems like she is starting to get it. She is talking about recovery rather than look at all the classes I've attended, and admitted to needing to live a sober life style. I'm very proud of her and as captain have awarded her the rank of RAW. She is going to AA but prefers a private therapist. I have no complaints with that. Whatever works works. I guess all the drama was required so that we could both be where we are now.
What I have to watch myself with is a couple of things. The big one is not to jump in and start to manage her recovery for her. That would be REAL BAD for both of us. The second is that I need to be objective and realize that her recovery might not last or that even bigger, our relationship has and will change big time. Just me changing will cause that.
So patience is my key word for now. I feel really good about me and I have some hope about us.
I have been really working the mindfulness tool and it has worked really well. I think part of the reason I have had so much success with it is because I have had years of experience being mindful for a different reason.
I am a type 2 diabetic who manages my diabetes through diet and exercise. I am very mindful about what I eat and when. I guess it wasn't that difficult to apply the same tool to a different process. So, it appears I needed that experience as a diabetic to be able to learn to handle what was going on in my life with my A. My HP obviously has a funny sense of humor.
So, no drama and some progress. Life is good.
Edit, rereading the post I have come to the conclusion that I really need another word for really, really, I really mean it.
Your friend,
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Thanks for the update, Mike! I like what you said about your diabetes and applying the mindfulness in other areas. I was just diagnosed with type 2 last week, so I am going to use what you are doing in regard to mindfulness! Sending hugs of support! 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
REALLY????? (j/k)....truthfully, absolutely, always, in my opinion.....
on the bread subject, I highly recommend Bimbo double-fiber toast...Don't Laugh! it's great....(I started WW last month and have lost 9.8 lbs, only 20 to go).
I'm glad that things are working out for you and hope your wife is happier with her choices these days....Recovery is a funny thing....for me I kept faking it until one day I thought, I'm actually happy....took about 8 months give or take....I have to ask the dog, we've discussed the subject at length.
on the bread subject, I highly recommend Bimbo double-fiber toast...Don't Laugh! it's great....(I started WW last month and have lost 9.8 lbs, only 20 to go).
I'm glad that things are working out for you and hope your wife is happier with her choices these days....Recovery is a funny thing....for me I kept faking it until one day I thought, I'm actually happy....took about 8 months give or take....I have to ask the dog, we've discussed the subject at length.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
Originally Posted by m1k3 
It's been a while since I've posted an update about me and I think this is a good time to catch everyone up.
Shields are down an all is running smoothly. I've been feeling pretty good about myself and still making progress in my recovery. It seems that I've taken care of the major stuff and the things I'm working on now are more subtle.
I've helped my AW move to a smaller apartment over the last couple of weekends. It seems like she is starting to get it. She is talking about recovery rather than look at all the classes I've attended, and admitted to needing to live a sober life style. I'm very proud of her and as captain have awarded her the rank of RAW. She is going to AA but prefers a private therapist. I have no complaints with that. Whatever works works. I guess all the drama was required so that we could both be where we are now.
What I have to watch myself with is a couple of things. The big one is not to jump in and start to manage her recovery for her. That would be REAL BAD for both of us. The second is that I need to be objective and realize that her recovery might not last or that even bigger, our relationship has and will change big time. Just me changing will cause that.
So patience is my key word for now. I feel really good about me and I have some hope about us.
I have been really working the mindfulness tool and it has worked really well. I think part of the reason I have had so much success with it is because I have had years of experience being mindful for a different reason.
I am a type 2 diabetic who manages my diabetes through diet and exercise. I am very mindful about what I eat and when. I guess it wasn't that difficult to apply the same tool to a different process. So, it appears I needed that experience as a diabetic to be able to learn to handle what was going on in my life with my A. My HP obviously has a funny sense of humor.
So, no drama and some progress. Life is good.
Edit, rereading the post I have come to the conclusion that I really need another word for really, really, I really mean it.
Your friend,
Shields are down an all is running smoothly. I've been feeling pretty good about myself and still making progress in my recovery. It seems that I've taken care of the major stuff and the things I'm working on now are more subtle.
I've helped my AW move to a smaller apartment over the last couple of weekends. It seems like she is starting to get it. She is talking about recovery rather than look at all the classes I've attended, and admitted to needing to live a sober life style. I'm very proud of her and as captain have awarded her the rank of RAW. She is going to AA but prefers a private therapist. I have no complaints with that. Whatever works works. I guess all the drama was required so that we could both be where we are now.
What I have to watch myself with is a couple of things. The big one is not to jump in and start to manage her recovery for her. That would be REAL BAD for both of us. The second is that I need to be objective and realize that her recovery might not last or that even bigger, our relationship has and will change big time. Just me changing will cause that.
So patience is my key word for now. I feel really good about me and I have some hope about us.
I have been really working the mindfulness tool and it has worked really well. I think part of the reason I have had so much success with it is because I have had years of experience being mindful for a different reason.
I am a type 2 diabetic who manages my diabetes through diet and exercise. I am very mindful about what I eat and when. I guess it wasn't that difficult to apply the same tool to a different process. So, it appears I needed that experience as a diabetic to be able to learn to handle what was going on in my life with my A. My HP obviously has a funny sense of humor.
So, no drama and some progress. Life is good.
Edit, rereading the post I have come to the conclusion that I really need another word for really, really, I really mean it.
Your friend,
I like hearing good news....thanks
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 255
Thanks for sharing that. I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes about 5 years ago, and I found it to be a life-altering event, as well. I had been dieting/not dieting most of my adult life, and this is the first time I've managed to stabilize my weight.
The diet I adopted is not for everyone, but it worked for me. I limit my carbs, but I also gave up sweets completely. I decided I'd rather live without cookies than bread; I love bread.
I lost 60 pounds, and have kept my blood sugar average under 100 for five years now.
Like you, I think my discipline has helped me deal with AW's total lack of discipline. I guess it's a roundabout way of maintaining some balance in life.
The diet I adopted is not for everyone, but it worked for me. I limit my carbs, but I also gave up sweets completely. I decided I'd rather live without cookies than bread; I love bread.
I lost 60 pounds, and have kept my blood sugar average under 100 for five years now.
Like you, I think my discipline has helped me deal with AW's total lack of discipline. I guess it's a roundabout way of maintaining some balance in life.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Thanks for sharing, Mike.
I've been thinking a lot about "success stories", and I know when I first came to this forum, I was desperately looking for some myself. I wanted to know if it is possible for a marriage to survive all this. What I found over the last 7 months here and 1 year in Al-Anon is the real success story is me.
Things changed in my marriage because I changed and my RAH changed because of the changes I was making (and I really used "change" a lot here!) but the point is nothing changes if nothing changes. So do something different!
Giving your wife consequences and the space in which to sort out her life, in her own peaceful way, may be the best gift you've given her.
I've been thinking a lot about "success stories", and I know when I first came to this forum, I was desperately looking for some myself. I wanted to know if it is possible for a marriage to survive all this. What I found over the last 7 months here and 1 year in Al-Anon is the real success story is me.
Things changed in my marriage because I changed and my RAH changed because of the changes I was making (and I really used "change" a lot here!) but the point is nothing changes if nothing changes. So do something different!
Giving your wife consequences and the space in which to sort out her life, in her own peaceful way, may be the best gift you've given her.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 74
It's interesting how many of us initially stumble upon SR in our desperation to fix our As, only to realize that all we need to fix is ourselves. This site has been invaluable to my recovery...I came here without much hope, but I'm in such a great place now. Nothing significant has changed with my A, but I am no longer obsessed with that. Thanks so much for your posts, Mike...they always make me think...
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
So glad you are keeping up with your "Zen" attitude!
Illnesses are great teachers. Now with my knee issues I have learned about
-patience
-the importance of staying positive (in a healthy way)
-the need for tenderness in my life
-flexibility
-to "slow down"
-how healing involves body, mind & soul
I added you to my "good men" list, I like your honesty and compassion.
I need to get my codependency in check the next weeks as my mom is coming to town, your post reminded me of the importance of healthy boundaries.
Hugs!!
Illnesses are great teachers. Now with my knee issues I have learned about
-patience
-the importance of staying positive (in a healthy way)
-the need for tenderness in my life
-flexibility
-to "slow down"
-how healing involves body, mind & soul
I added you to my "good men" list, I like your honesty and compassion.
I need to get my codependency in check the next weeks as my mom is coming to town, your post reminded me of the importance of healthy boundaries.
Hugs!!
Skipper
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: South Texas, USA
Posts: 827
I'm so happy and encouraged to read this, Mike.
Thank you for the update. Looking good, today!
Last edited by skippernlilg; 08-08-2011 at 05:38 PM. Reason: trying to get the smilies to work right ;)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Originally Posted by anvilhead
great update mike....level headedness and common sense go a long long way! i mean like TOTALLY! 
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