Fiance Hiding Beer

Old 08-05-2011, 01:47 PM
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Fiance Hiding Beer

I just found a stash of empty beer cans in a cooler in the yard's shed. I'd suspected my fiance was drinking last night, he was weaving a bit when he walked last night and he was spending a lot of time near the shed. Thus, I checked this morning, found the empties and a receipt dated from the day before. I know the signs, since I used to be a "closet" drinker. What puzzles me is that he denies being a drinker at all. He says he doesn't like the taste of alcohol, etc.

I need to talk about this with him, but would like suggestions as to how to approach this.

I am recovery myself. My family is alcoholic. I know about denial and the 3 c's, etc. It's just the first time I've been faced with this sort of situation! Any input helps.

Thank you.
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Old 08-05-2011, 11:07 PM
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How would you have wanted to be approached when you were "closet" drinking?

And make sure you have the conversation when he's sober and not hungover, or else it will make for a irritating and pointless conversation.

Good luck.
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Old 08-06-2011, 05:39 AM
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This is God's way of telling you not to marry him. Listen to God.

Good luck.

Cyranoak
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Old 08-06-2011, 09:32 AM
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Originally Posted by FenrirUlf View Post
I just found a stash of empty beer cans in a cooler in the yard's shed. I'd suspected my fiance was drinking last night, he was weaving a bit when he walked last night and he was spending a lot of time near the shed. Thus, I checked this morning, found the empties and a receipt dated from the day before. I know the signs, since I used to be a "closet" drinker. What puzzles me is that he denies being a drinker at all. He says he doesn't like the taste of alcohol, etc.

I need to talk about this with him, but would like suggestions as to how to approach this.

I am recovery myself. My family is alcoholic. I know about denial and the 3 c's, etc. It's just the first time I've been faced with this sort of situation! Any input helps.

Thank you.
Just be totally open and honest!!
Don't try to sugar coat it....but be calm and cool about it.
If anything you need to do this for your own recovery.
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Old 08-06-2011, 09:33 AM
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Personally don't see a need for alot of conversation, you already have the answer to the question. Perhaps a more personal internal dialogue is in order. And perhaps it would start, WTH am I doing, tolerating more Bullsh*t? Best of luck to you
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Old 08-07-2011, 09:56 AM
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I recall vividly the Catholic Priest that used to come to my ER drunk as a skunk, put his hand on the bible he conveniently brought, swearing he doesn't drink.
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Old 08-08-2011, 09:49 PM
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Spawn, I decided to just be totally open and honest, and it went quite well as a first conversation about it.

Also, thanks all for remindin me to put my own sobriety first...

I do appreciate folks' input, and I'm thankful to have found this site...
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