please help
reallylost28
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Indpeendence, mo
Posts: 1
please help
Im a mother of 2, 29 years old and i just helped my fiancee find a rehab.
Things had gotten way out of control and long story short he is in rehab and i am clean 2 weeks now. he tripled the amount of drugs beinbg used to mine 10 to 1. i set up an appointment with a counselor to find out what i am, sounds wierd huh? i know i abuse them but what kind of addict am i? because i could still function with or without them, I took painkillers with him i take 1/2 of one a day and he took 20 a day. but i wouldnt stop taking them because he took them. since he went to rehab i have been doin ok without them moody and depressed but nothing like i have seen the person i care about go through. 3 months ago i moved out because i told him i could not watch him kill himsel,f and take our family with him.
and kill him self is what almost happened, he decided to quit cold turkey and replace pain pills for something different. one week later he had lost his mind. and after 3 days in an er he checked into rehab. So now i am just lost dont know what to do, set up and appointment with a counselor and would like to go to a meting but with work it is very hard to make time. meanwhile i feel like 30 days is a short peroid of time and i am scared to death of what happens when he gets out, he has wanted help for a long time but to lazy and (well he just didnt believe it would help him) to ever look for help before, he talked all the time about it but when it came down to it he refused. till now when he hit bottom and burnt all his bridges and realized he cant make a good choice to save his life. So i just need information, i have watched him sit on a couch for a year now and pop pills and literally do nothing at all. but that isnt the person i knew before the pills, and if i am going to support him i cant stand the thought of him coming back and stiitng in bed doing nothing while i work my butt off for 600 bucks a month and care for the kids. i want to help him but if he dont do the things he is supposed to do like work his program, and be responsible then i will be no help to him anyway (ill just resent him more). i know we will start family counseling soon but i feel like we need more then a few sessions before he gets out of there. so do i tell him find a different place to stay? or give him help and if he doenst do what he is supposed to do ask him to go? i really feel like a fool, never in my lifew have i had no idea what to do like this before
Things had gotten way out of control and long story short he is in rehab and i am clean 2 weeks now. he tripled the amount of drugs beinbg used to mine 10 to 1. i set up an appointment with a counselor to find out what i am, sounds wierd huh? i know i abuse them but what kind of addict am i? because i could still function with or without them, I took painkillers with him i take 1/2 of one a day and he took 20 a day. but i wouldnt stop taking them because he took them. since he went to rehab i have been doin ok without them moody and depressed but nothing like i have seen the person i care about go through. 3 months ago i moved out because i told him i could not watch him kill himsel,f and take our family with him.
and kill him self is what almost happened, he decided to quit cold turkey and replace pain pills for something different. one week later he had lost his mind. and after 3 days in an er he checked into rehab. So now i am just lost dont know what to do, set up and appointment with a counselor and would like to go to a meting but with work it is very hard to make time. meanwhile i feel like 30 days is a short peroid of time and i am scared to death of what happens when he gets out, he has wanted help for a long time but to lazy and (well he just didnt believe it would help him) to ever look for help before, he talked all the time about it but when it came down to it he refused. till now when he hit bottom and burnt all his bridges and realized he cant make a good choice to save his life. So i just need information, i have watched him sit on a couch for a year now and pop pills and literally do nothing at all. but that isnt the person i knew before the pills, and if i am going to support him i cant stand the thought of him coming back and stiitng in bed doing nothing while i work my butt off for 600 bucks a month and care for the kids. i want to help him but if he dont do the things he is supposed to do like work his program, and be responsible then i will be no help to him anyway (ill just resent him more). i know we will start family counseling soon but i feel like we need more then a few sessions before he gets out of there. so do i tell him find a different place to stay? or give him help and if he doenst do what he is supposed to do ask him to go? i really feel like a fool, never in my lifew have i had no idea what to do like this before
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Welcome to SR.
I wish I had some experience to share with you but I have none. All I can do is wish you the best and hope that you are able to find the answers you seek. I am sure someone will be along shortly who will have experience to share with you.
I wish I had some experience to share with you but I have none. All I can do is wish you the best and hope that you are able to find the answers you seek. I am sure someone will be along shortly who will have experience to share with you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 210
Hi Lauren. Welcome to SR. There a tons of helpful threads for substance abuse / pill addiction in the substance abuse forum. Just scroll down from the main forum page and you will find them. Good for you for getting yourself off the pills and urging your fiance to do the same. I hope you feel better soon!
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Hey Lauren ... I live in the KC Area as well. Glad you found us. 
When I went to treatment for alcoholism it was suggested to me to move into an Oxford House. It's sort of like a half-way house .... it's a self-run, self-supporting recovery house. I lived in one in Kansas for two years. I know there are many in MO as well. It's an option. I know it saved my life. I think you're right, 30 days of treatment/sobriety doesn't keep anyone sober.
I see you have considered attending alanon or naranon ... I would suggest you try to get to a meeting. I understand how difficult it can be to fit into your life, especially being a single mother with a job. I don't have children so I can't fully relate. There are others here who will be able to relate to you better on that level.
You said some great things ... about him having to work his own program etc. I think the hard part is sticking to that.
Welcome to SR by the way!
When I went to treatment for alcoholism it was suggested to me to move into an Oxford House. It's sort of like a half-way house .... it's a self-run, self-supporting recovery house. I lived in one in Kansas for two years. I know there are many in MO as well. It's an option. I know it saved my life. I think you're right, 30 days of treatment/sobriety doesn't keep anyone sober.
I see you have considered attending alanon or naranon ... I would suggest you try to get to a meeting. I understand how difficult it can be to fit into your life, especially being a single mother with a job. I don't have children so I can't fully relate. There are others here who will be able to relate to you better on that level.
You said some great things ... about him having to work his own program etc. I think the hard part is sticking to that.
Welcome to SR by the way!
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Make time to get to any in person re overy program and share your story. Most likely someone there has your experience and you can look in their eyes and smell their nonalcohol breath. You may get help with your children (I help moms during the meeting so they can focus on what's going on - in the same room).
best wishes
best wishes
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