bonami

The more I read here on SR, the more I realize how little I knew about alcoholism and how it affects both the alcoholics and the people in their lives. My life has never been touched by the disease until now, and I am wondering how little I really did know about my RA friend/coworker. All these years that I've known him, of course I have seen him drinking, many times quite a lot; we had many an office party or team outing where the cocktails flowed freely among all of us. But he has always seemed to be quite functional during the day and whenever there was no alcohol around.

But his recent crisis has shed a sad light on how he’s fallen. I’m not sure if he’s going to lose his marriage, but he’s going to lose his job. I thought the company was going to allow him come back to work on a limited basis, to start. But now I hear they are just too disappointed by his recent behavior, so they want to cut him loose by offering him a different job that he probably won’t want, so that he can turn it down and they can sever ties with him without having to fire him. So much for 15 years of loyalty.

Besides the fact that I'm disappointed in my company for not standing by him, I'm also just so sad that my friend had come so far in his career, and now it’s probably all gone. Plus I still haven’t heard from him at all, which now makes me even sadder because if he’s decided for whatever reason to distance himself from me, I may never see him again. And I still don't know how his recovery is going and can't tell him I am his only ally left at that place.

I had no idea how much havoc alcoholism causes in people’s lives until now. Am just sad and needed to get this out to people who have been there. Thanks for listening.

TeM

I think what has surprised me is the difficulty of recovery for the Alcoholic. Most of the stories I read here don't have a happy ending for the drinker. On the bright side, however, there are many stories of codependents escaping the downward spiral and moving on with their lives. That gives me some hope for myself, if not for my AW.

I have an elderly uncle who escaped from alcoholism years ago, but I don't know the details of how he did it. Neither he nor his family ever talk about it, and I've never asked.

To clarify, I'm assuming my uncle has stopped drinking, because he was at his worst 40 years ago, and I don't think he would have survived this long and done so well with his life if he were still a heavy drinker.