liquid

Hi everyone, hope you are all doing ok.

im 26 and have a bad problem with alcohol. i dont think i have been a single day in 10 years without drinking, and i used to be a drug addict too. I managed to boot the drugs when i had my daughter, but i couldnt ever kick the drink.

thats the problem with drink... its too easy to get a hold of... esp in London. i can get a drink at any time of day/night within 30secs. i mainly drink beer, but really ill drink anything.... im not fussed

My job isnt great either...... i manage a bar lol. so i couldnt be in a worse place for withdrawal. and i do help my self at work, sounds bad (which it is) but i have such a huge tolerance no one notices....

I also suffer with depression.. was beaten badly as a kid, never got over it. blah blah blah....
But i think (i know) that is why i drink so excessively. i think i started to like drink because it gave me fake confidence... now im cocky as **** and confidence isnt a issue.... so why do i still drink?

i dont know, ive been to doc... got diazapan and continued to drink on it. in my check up my liver and kidneys were 100%.... i guess im made of iron... but i feel dead inside

nandm

Welcome to SR.

I can relate to your story in many ways. I spent way too many years drinking. For a while things were ok but there came the time when it no longer worked for me and was destroying my life and those who cared about me. I had no control over drinking. Although I did not drink daily when I drank I drank way too much. Once I took that first drink there was no looking back as one drink justified two and two justified three and so on. I was consuming two 30 packs of beer and a pint of 100 proof alcohol every evening usually 4 to 5 days a week. I went to work so hung over many times that I could barely function. I had tried to quit many times on my own and there were periods when I would not drink for months at a time I even went a year. Although those times did not happen in the last few years of my drinking. I could barely go a few days without drinking.

The day finally came where I knew I could no longer go on living drinking but had no idea how to live life and not drink. I reached out to someone I had met one time who was in AA. She took me to my first meeting and what I felt there was hope. Hope for the first time in many years that life could get better. Hope that there was a way to live and not be miserable without alcohol. I jumped into the program head first at that point and have not looked back in 10 years. I know that if I can quit drinking there is hope for anyone.

I would recommend finding a recovery program. There are many out there. They provide support, direction, and help in stopping drinking and learning how to live without it. Here is a list of many of the recovery programs: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

MycoolFitz

Since you can't live with it anymore it makes sense to live without it. As to ready availability, if you are addicted to something you will find it even if you have to crawl through broken glass. Managing a bar is tough but you still don't have to drink any more than a mortician has to enbalm himself. My best to you.

liquid

Thanks guys

Yeah, your right... i guess there is no time like the present to end it. im feeling particularly hungover today, normally i would just drink through it but im gonna try and not drink today. i havent yet either, its 7pm and i have tonight off work.
good time to try and go a day sober i think

MycoolFitz

If the going gets tough the tough get going to their physician. There's no better time than now for sobriety.

wheresthefun

It's already night over there, liquid, I hope you do well. I detoxed at work, on 7/25/11. I could have stayed home (I own the business) but I know there would have been a major temptation to drink, as I was a major wreck. You do have it tough though, managing a bar. Good luck and keep posting.

wheresthefun

Seriously, nandm? WOW, that's all I can say...WOW! And, that's coming from an almost three decade major alkie. You should be beyond proud of yourself.

liquid

i will do thanks, ive still got a load of that diazapoxide left from the last time i went to the docs.. it didnt really do anything but i guess its better than nothing.

and im working every day for the next 2 weeks so i havent got time to go see a doc yet. im going to have to talk to my boss, because im actually required to drink. i have to keep the drinks/cocktail menus fresh and keep changing them. i have to try the new beers/wines/cocktails.... and im supposed to be "friendly" with the customers... which translates to "if they are having a shot i should join it".

will speak to my boss, who is an ex alcoholic so he should understand