ADaisyifyoudo

Why does it seem like everyone else hits some kind of magic date and becomes happy, loses weight, has a kitchen epiphany, etc? Where is my magic date? I am SO tired of the mood swings, feeling sad for no good reason on a beautiful summer morning. Feeling like I have ruined everything - I can't be happy drinking anymore and I don't seem to be coming any closer to being happy not drinking either.

My husband and daughter can't understand why I am sad, and guess what? Neither can I. Just sick of it. I know no one can tell me when I'll feel better, or even IF I ever will. And I don't want to go back to drinking. I just want to not feel like this anymore.

ETA

Hey ADaisyifyoudo... I'm sorry your feeling so down.

I have suffered from depression pretty much my whole life so I'm very familiar with the feelings you are talking about.

You will feel better - I promise. It's just going to take some work on your part.

For me I am taking anti-depressants, seeing a therapist and trying to get into an excercise routine.

It's still up and down and I have a good ways to go. Stopping drinking has helped (5 weeks 2 days today) but I was expecting more of a reward than I'm getting. I thought I would feel great but mostly I have been tired and cranky.

Alot of folks on this board say 90 days of sobriety is the time that it takes for the body and everything to get straight.

How long has it been since you stopped drinking? Are you seeing any type of therapist?

eJoshua

People were always saying in rehab "I feel happy again" or "I feel like my old self."

I was always thinking "I never felt happy in the first place" and "I don't want to feel like my old self, that's why I started drinking."

Abstinence does not solve your problems, from a mental health perspective or otherwise.

Like ETA, I'm on antidepressants and seeing a therapist. I'm also working a program. I'm now 113 days sober, and while I'm not 100% happy, I can definitely tell you that I'm a hell of a lot better than I was. I've been abstinent alone before, and it didn't feel like this does.

Not sure what you are doing to combat your depression, but, like addiction, it doesn't get better unless you fight it.

Good luck.

MycoolFitz

No one hits a magic date--not even non-alcoholics. If we all didn't have our downs where would the ups come from. Moods will change around as will circumstances, but overall, it is the self's tendency to right itself. Through drugs and alcohol we have wronged ourselves so long that balance can take some time. People can feel real low for a lot of reasons, not just through early sobriety. If the mind is hurting why not get it checked out by your doctor or a therapist? Mental health is just as important as physical health and deserves the same care and attention.

SomethingBetter

I had a very bad day yesterday, slept all day, didn’t go to sleep till 2 AM this morning and was up by 5 AM… Only 3 hours of sleep and I feel like crap but my mind is a lot better today.

I think we are going to have bad days, but I had bad days drunk too, I remember crying like a baby toward the end wondering why I couldn’t quit drinking, crying about almost anything and I’m a grown man!

After almost 6 months of not having a drink I do feel sad a lot and lonely, most of my former friends are drinkers and I either choose to not be around them or they choose not to be around me, some other people don’t even like me anymore, maybe I speak my mind more these days, I don’t know but I’m not drinking over it.

I figure we are the same person at first, just sober, it takes time to change, how much time? I don’t know but I drank heavily for many years and I can’t expect to be ‘better’ that quick.

Although it’s hard to think this way when my mind isn’t thinking right…

I really hope your day gets better

Eddiebuckle

Daisy,

You have to understand that you are still in early sobriety. PAWs lasts up to 18 months, so be patient. And one of the best advice I got in the rooms was to break the habit of comparing my insides with other peoples outsides.

Good luck!

AcceptingChange

Well said! It took me a long time to figure that out. I'd hang out with nice people, and they'd want to play board games. My gut reaction was 'boring! That's why they call them bored games.' So i'd go off and find people who drank.

After years of chasing drinkers cuz I'd have a few fun hours but lots of pain filled days, i decided to say 'yes' when non-drinkers included me in a game or bowling or something. And the only thing i could think of was "am i missing something? how come they are having such fun and i'm not. I REALLY want to." So, i'd try hard, try to laugh and stuff. It didn't come naturally, that's for sure.
There were people in my life who didn't focus on the drinking and they were very kind. I found myself trying not to emphasize the spontenaity of situations.
i'm adapting.

saphira

I agree with everything everyone above has said. And I don't know your exact situation, but do you feel like you're white-knuckling it? I know right away when I quit drinking I was. I was just "getting through"... waiting for something to happen ... waiting for when I would be "fixed." I could only keep that up for so long and ended up drinking again. This time around I've learned that I need to grab on to my sobriety with two hands and really make the most out of it. I have to re-teach myself how to have fun and how to enjoy things. I finally accepted this as a way of life (much like changing eating habits) instead of something to "get through." I still have bad days but I feel much calmer about it all now. (Antidepressants don't hurt either...I definitely had to look at my mental health.) Hope your day improves..