5 months and questioning
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 29
5 months and questioning
Hi all,
So I'm now recently 5 months sober, which feels still really bad and good at the same time. Lately, thought I feel my desire to maintain soberity slowly slipping (though I have not yet come close to relapsing) and questioning if I'm really an alcoholic. I hear stories and think we'll i'm not that bad, and I've also in the past gone out and had just two drinks and went home (though that happened few times). It has been a big struggle to remain sober, which does partially clue me in to the fact that perhaps I am an alcoholic. Is all this thinking and questioning part of the "normal" process of soberity?? This is my first time getting sober, so I'm not sure if this is the disease talking. The fact that so many people relapse and attempt many times to get sober also worries me since this is my first...I almost am expecting myself to relapse because that's what statistics show.
Sorry rambling...any thoughts, advice would be great. Thanks!!
So I'm now recently 5 months sober, which feels still really bad and good at the same time. Lately, thought I feel my desire to maintain soberity slowly slipping (though I have not yet come close to relapsing) and questioning if I'm really an alcoholic. I hear stories and think we'll i'm not that bad, and I've also in the past gone out and had just two drinks and went home (though that happened few times). It has been a big struggle to remain sober, which does partially clue me in to the fact that perhaps I am an alcoholic. Is all this thinking and questioning part of the "normal" process of soberity?? This is my first time getting sober, so I'm not sure if this is the disease talking. The fact that so many people relapse and attempt many times to get sober also worries me since this is my first...I almost am expecting myself to relapse because that's what statistics show.
Sorry rambling...any thoughts, advice would be great. Thanks!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Welcome. Congrats on 5 months. Alcoholic or non-alcoholic? Who knows but do you want to take the chance of going back to picking up and maybe finding out? The fact that your sobriety has been a big struggle might tell you something. As far as statistics, sure some people relapse, some over and over, but sobriety is always possible and many find their way to it. Expectations of relapse can be invitations to relapse. Something in you decided on sobriety, there must be a reason. Hang on to that reason and don't allow time to let it fade or twist it out of shape.
Cause no harm
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 596
Even if you were not an alcoholic, you are far better not poisoning your body with booze. You haven't needed it in five months, why even mess with it. You're doing too well to even consider playing with the dragon.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
Hi and welcome, LittleChris. Beware, the demon lost you for a while but will start pulling you back in one claw at a time with sweet whispers and rationalizations and soon enough it's back at you full force. Rationalization is one of the farther along alcoholics worst enemies. I don't know your back story but all I can think about is how much pain, loss and negativity alcohol has brought into my life. It is not my friend, even in small doses. Be careful.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
It does sound like the disease talking to you. I think it says the same thing to all of us: "You weren't as bad as that," or "You're so bad, it's going to be too hard to stop," or "Maybe just a couple of drinks," or "You'll never have a social life," etc. etc........ I think AA has is right when it says "Alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful." And alcohol doesn't solve anything - ever.
Maybe there are other kinds of questions that would be more helpful: Why did you stop in the first place? What do you want your future to look like? What can you do to address the boredom, loneliness, depression, or whatever is making you miserable? Do you need more support?
Just some food for thought..... 5 months is a real accomplishment!
Maybe there are other kinds of questions that would be more helpful: Why did you stop in the first place? What do you want your future to look like? What can you do to address the boredom, loneliness, depression, or whatever is making you miserable? Do you need more support?
Just some food for thought..... 5 months is a real accomplishment!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi LittleChris
I think everybody can draw on the odd occasion when they 'had a couple' and went home...it's way better to think about the many many other times you intended to do just that...and didn't.
As far as comparing yourself to other people - I could always find people who were worse drunks than I was - but really, so what?
I was killing myself with booze and I'm better off without it.
I don't need to do a comparative analysis... y'know?
Maybe it's best to ask yourself whats wrong with your life now that you think drinking could improve it?
what do you think you're missing, Chris?
D
I think everybody can draw on the odd occasion when they 'had a couple' and went home...it's way better to think about the many many other times you intended to do just that...and didn't.
As far as comparing yourself to other people - I could always find people who were worse drunks than I was - but really, so what?
I was killing myself with booze and I'm better off without it.
I don't need to do a comparative analysis... y'know?
Maybe it's best to ask yourself whats wrong with your life now that you think drinking could improve it?
what do you think you're missing, Chris?
D
Last edited by Dee74; 08-03-2011 at 10:27 PM.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
LC, i can relate,
Its been 164 (just over 5 months) days without alcohol for me and sometimes i have confusing thoughts about remaining sober, this is not my first time quiting though so i dig deep and pull from my relapses and know that i really wanted to stay sober 'this time'.
If you can learn from our mistakes your better for it, my last relaspe lasted 5 years...
I mean i quit for a day or 2 here and there sometimes a week or 2 at most, but it was 5 years before i got a good enough grip to make it this far, so for me those thoughts are trouble.
Your doing great!
Its been 164 (just over 5 months) days without alcohol for me and sometimes i have confusing thoughts about remaining sober, this is not my first time quiting though so i dig deep and pull from my relapses and know that i really wanted to stay sober 'this time'.
If you can learn from our mistakes your better for it, my last relaspe lasted 5 years...
I mean i quit for a day or 2 here and there sometimes a week or 2 at most, but it was 5 years before i got a good enough grip to make it this far, so for me those thoughts are trouble.
Your doing great!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 456
Hang in there Chris. I know how you feel at 5 months 3 weeks.
Remember, relapse starts before the first drink. When I start having these thoughts I know it's time to double down my effort.
I hope that you, like I, have noticed that these "bummer" episodes are getting fewer and farther apart.
"This too shal pass"
Peace
-SPG
Remember, relapse starts before the first drink. When I start having these thoughts I know it's time to double down my effort.
I hope that you, like I, have noticed that these "bummer" episodes are getting fewer and farther apart.
"This too shal pass"
Peace
-SPG
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 873
I never dwell much on the question of whether I'm an alcoholic or not. What's the point?
What I do know is that drinking was negatively affecting my life and I needed to stop.
And whenever the urge hits me to drink, I try to revisit some of the original reasons I quit as well as reflect on the good that has come from stopping.
Hope that helps.
What I do know is that drinking was negatively affecting my life and I needed to stop.
And whenever the urge hits me to drink, I try to revisit some of the original reasons I quit as well as reflect on the good that has come from stopping.
Hope that helps.
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