A rather delicate (and a little embarrassing) situation
A rather delicate (and a little embarrassing) situation
Ok, I'm very wary about posting this on here but there's nobody else I want to turn to about it and I was hoping for some advice. Here goes:
I am 44 days sober (hooray!) and very happy and settled with it. Before I was sober our nightly routine would go something like this: kids to bed for 8, I'd drink wine until I was drunk, bed around 12 together.
The nightly routine for the last 44 nights (give or take a few nights): kids to bed at 8, a little TV, I head to bed around 10 - 10:30pm and read for a while, I awake at around 4am to find Husband is asleep on the couch downstairs!?
Sorry, I know this is tedious but I don't understand it? Did he prefer me when I smelled of booze and cigarettes? (44 days off smoking too) I know he's relieved the booze has stopped, so what is this shift in our relationship? Any advice would be greatly welcomed, thanks all
I am 44 days sober (hooray!) and very happy and settled with it. Before I was sober our nightly routine would go something like this: kids to bed for 8, I'd drink wine until I was drunk, bed around 12 together.
The nightly routine for the last 44 nights (give or take a few nights): kids to bed at 8, a little TV, I head to bed around 10 - 10:30pm and read for a while, I awake at around 4am to find Husband is asleep on the couch downstairs!?
Sorry, I know this is tedious but I don't understand it? Did he prefer me when I smelled of booze and cigarettes? (44 days off smoking too) I know he's relieved the booze has stopped, so what is this shift in our relationship? Any advice would be greatly welcomed, thanks all
This is just a shot in the dark, but maybe since you go to bed earlier now, and his normal routine was to stay up til midnight, possibly he dozes off on the couch because no one is there talking to him (that's how my husband is) and ends up sleeping there? I'm not really sure, I would ask....with my personality, I would've asked after the 2nd or 3rd time. LOL
Congrats on your success with quitting smoking and drinking!!!
Congrats on your success with quitting smoking and drinking!!!
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,685
I remember being a bit raw in early sobriety. Maybe now that your sober you see things...well a bit sensitively? Not to to knock you or nothing but maybe some more discussion about where your are at emotionally and see what you significant other views on things that concern you.
Anywho, well done on 44 day into you new life alcohol free. Keep up the good effort.
Anywho, well done on 44 day into you new life alcohol free. Keep up the good effort.
I don't know if this applies at all, but I will throw it out there. For some reason, I am only able to fall asleep peacefully alone. If my husband comes to bed earlier than usual and I am still awake, he tends to toss and turn a bit and in general, make small noises which stops me from drifting off. I got used to falling asleep alone when he began staying up later than i did--when that changed, I would go to the sofa.
I think in reality it's hard to sleep with another person but I do it! LOL I mean I probably wouldn't wake at all if I slept alone. If I could create the perfect house it would be two master bedrooms with an ajoining master bath - of course his and hers. LOL But seriously, just ask him why and tell him that emotionally there may be many questions over the next few months as this is all new to you. Just be honest and open about your feelings and he will hopefully do the same. I'm so happy for you though smoking and alcohol! Thats awesome! Go YOU!
And congratulations on kicking the drink and the smokes!
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