PhiBetaLeta

Ok - so I have been going to meetings regularly and it really helps. When I go to meetings, I don't drink. There really is magic in them. I like the people and the interaction.

But the last meeting I went to was not so good. I am a teacher and one of my students was there. It was really awkwad. I am afraid that he will tell others and word will ge around that I go to AA. I am thinking about going to a meeting 30 min away to have less of a chance of this happening.

Has this happened to anyone before? What should I do?

SindyLuhu

This has not happened to me BUT I went to an AA meeting last year and my children's PEDIATRICIAN was at the meeting! I can tell you from my experience that I did not mention to anyone that I saw her there to honor the anonymity. Plus, in a weird way, I felt privileged to know this about her.

Strangely, when my kids get sick and I call the office, since then, she is always "booked." That saddens me because I love her as a doctor and has been seeing my kids for 10 years. My opinion of her professional ability is not tainted one bit. She's a great doctor. I'm a little disappointed that she won't see us anymore, but I kinda get that.

Supercrew

First of all if the student already saw you and he plans on saying something the damage is done.

10 years ago when I attended a court ordered AA meeting I saw a friends father. The guy was known as the area drunk when we were much younger. I knew him through Little League and High School sports, and he approached me immediately asking how I was and if I needed help and if I needed a sponser. I told him that I wasn't an alcoholic, I was just there for a DUI, and if I needed anything I would reach out to him. It was awkward, and although it's called anonymous, if you go to a group in an area where you know alot of the community or are known by the community chances are you will run into someone.

nandm

My experience has been that the person that recognizes us 90% of the time wants their anonymity protected just as much as we want our protected and will not talk about seeing you there. One way to think about is how can they say they saw you there unless they admit they were there. Unfortunately it is more likely you will be outed in an open meeting since anyone can come to those meetings whether they admit to being an alcoholic or not. They can be a student doing research for a paper, a family member or friend of an alcoholic, anyone who wants to come. In a closed meeting the only people who are supposed to be there are those that "have a desire to stop drinking". Until I was more comfortable about who knew I was an alcoholic I only went to closed meetings.

Jitterbugg

I actually saw a former teacher of mine at an AA meeting recently. Granted, I'm in my 30's now and he didnt recognize me, but I haven't, nor will I tell any old classmates that I saw 'Mr. so-and-so from high school' at AA. I think the vast majority of AA attendees respect the anonymous part

PhiBetaLeta

The problem with being a teacher is that it is juicy gossip to be at an AA meeting. We're like celebrities. All he he has to do is tell his mom and she'll spread it around the gossip chain. Also, facebook spreads things like wildfire. I can't deal with that stress. I think I'll try meetings at least 30 minutes from the community. Thanks all.

sugarbear1

DUI? That already indicates your life is out of control.
Sounds like that man genuinely cared wether you were doing the things to stay sober. Nonalcoholics don't get DUI's.

Student? I run into mine, too. We talk about our experience, strength, and hope.

Most people are there to save their own life.

Prayers sent to you to save your own lives so you can pass it on to those who may not make it to sobriety.

sugarbear1

Better to be seen saving your self than on tv after killing someone while drunk driving.

sugarbear1

Your alias confuses me

sugarbear1

"Who you see hear and what you say here, please let it stay here" is the concept of anonymity!!

Supercrew

No offense, but nonalcoholics do get DUI's daily. And a DUI does not indicate your life is out of control, it indicates you got pulled over driving with a .08 BAC.

I will admit that I became a hardcore alcoholic for 5 or 6 years, but when I got the DUI I had not progressed to that point, and even though I was a daily heavy drinker who had trouble quitting for a long time my life was never out of control. That's why it was hard for me to admit I had a problem.

Please remember that although we are all similar being that we are in this forum to quit drinking, all alcoholics or people with alcohol issues are not the same.

miamifella

I recently attended a meeting for the first time in awhile and saw someone I knew through work. We ended up talking since there were only four people at this meeting. But I made me uncomfortable and I probably will not go back.

I did not really know what was the way to deal with this.

sugarbear1

Keep believing nonalcs get them. Maybe alcoholics in denial.

When I accept my alcoholism, there is nothing I can't face and no one I need to hide from.

We had 3 deadly accidents due to drunk drivers within 12 hours. None were normal nonalcoholic drinkers. Get the facts straight.

sugarbear1

I drank with many colleagues. I welcomed them with a big hug when I saw them (the other day and 4 weeks ago).

My disease wants me dead. In those recent accidents, a 16 year old boy is dead, along with 3 people in another, and 4 in the third making a child to be born in a car and a 6 car pile-up.

Alcohol kills in many ways. Don't let it be you.

Supercrew

I think your sample size may be kind of small, so I have my facts straight, but we are getting off topic. What are you doing so you don't drink and drive, and what do you do when you see someone you know at a meeting?

bellakeller

Supercrew is probably right. Chances are that the student, particularly if not a mature student, has already spilled the beans.

Unfortunately, most people have some contact with an addict or more in their lives and most people hope their addict(s) can get some help. So maybe there's more empathy out there in your community for those actually seeking help.

I hope this doesn't get blown out of proportion too much. I am a teacher in a small town. I understand how a student IDing us at a meeting can go either way. Just stay strong in your convictions and your sobriety and hope for the best.

Dee74

DUI is an entirely different issue folks. Lets focus on the OPs problem.

D

Spawn

I'm curious to know how the student felt?
Going to another meeting won't change that you've been seen.
Maybe not knowing you may have had a huge impact on that student in a positive way..............remember one big point of AA is to raise the bottom for others.

ETA

How old is the student? I think why he was at the meeting will make a difference - if it's court ordered then he probably doesn't respect the anonymity as much as someone who goes by choice or is older/more mature.

Do you know him well enough to pull him aside and talk to him?

I imagine there are laws protecting you from having any negative consequences happen with your job.

Taking5

Of course, if everyone thought this way, you'd drive 30 minutes only to be surrounded by people in your local community, while your local AA meeting would have a bunch of people from the surrounding towns.

Going to AA isn't really a bad thing. People who gossip will gossip about anything. They will even make stuff up. Man up (or woman up) and don't let this affect your recovery.