maningup

I have been trying to get sober since Feb 15th. I had 60 days then relapsed was back in AA the very next day, did another 60 days, same thing. Went out and was back the very next day. Now I get 2 weeks or so and go out. My relapses are not bad, usually Its me saying "**** This" and I meet up with friends at a bar or nightclub. I was never a daily drinker or drank alone. On Saturday, I went to a sober dance and i tried to make the best of it but it was a boring dance. A pie eating contest for adults on a Saturday evening is not my idea of fun. While I was at the dance, I got a call from a friend who invited me to Palm Springs. I went to Palm Springs and had a blast with my friends. Got really buzzed, didn't over do it, but I know I easily could have. I keep going to meetings, I have 2 commitments, I stick to them. Just can't seem to stay sober.
The weird part is I didn’t feel remorseful Sunday morning, like I usually do.

Soberpotamus

Do you want to be sober? More than being drunk?

maningup

I know I want to be sober more than being drunk, but I dont think I want to be sober more than not having a few beers with friends. Which I can do, sometimes. Then there's times I over do it.

MycoolFitz

I've never known a good relapse. Only you can decide what real fun is. For me getting drunk quit being fun a long time ago. It became a necessity.

amy55

I hear you Fitz. I don't know if I ever really had fun drinking. It was just like something to do, something to help you get over something, or whatever. Was it ever really fun, I don't think so, so many times I would be drunk and wish that I could take a pill, to make it go away.

maningup

In all honesty, I still have a blast when I'm with friends having drinks. Thats what makes it so hard for me. When I was at the Nightclub in Palm Springs, I stopped looked around, and was authentically having a good time. When I was at the Sober Party I was forcing myself to have fun.
But I know that the best thing for me is to be sober. That I know. I just can't seem to do it. If youv'e been able, Congrats! I hope I can one day.

Soberpotamus

Maningup, I think you can do anything you really want to do. If drinking is causing you more problems than not, you can stop. There are many approaches to it also.

You'll need to decide one way or another if it's worth it to you to keep drinking... I don't think you'll get very far until then.

maningup

If it were not fun I think it would be easy to stop..for me

amy55

Maningup,

I used to have really good times at parties, and weddings, then I did them sober, I still had the good times, it depends I think on who you are with.

I'm not sober, my starting date is tomorrow. I want to get back to where I used to be.

mhealer3

yes friend, enjoy. it's hardly life otherwise.
recall the sweetness of not feeling condemned for your enjoyment.
that is God's Gift to you & i:
no condemnation.
religion tells us rules & consequences (& the aftermath of guilt destroys).
God has been misrepresented by religion friends...
He is Love only , not wrath--not since Jesus' Cross 2000 yrs ago.
the wrath for my sins fell onto Jesus at the Cross &
that was Jesus' own choice to Save us-- by becoming our substitute.
God proved His Love 4 us by giving up His only Son, who become a man (yet still fully God), Who then died in my place so i could be Saved..
we are not under the law anymore, & the "Goodness of God leadeth man to repentence".
realize the True nature of God: embrace His Gift of Life in Christ, Amen
blessings from new york state.

amy55

I used to think that it was fun, but after doing a lot of these things sober, I realized that it was just the friends that I had, whether they were drinking or not. Drinking may seem like fun, but when you start to drink by yourself, and eventually you will, you will see that it is not fun. Drinking does destroy your life. I thought I could be a social drinker, I couldn't. I thought I could be a weekend drinker, I couldn't. I did that in my younger days. I can't now. I have to quit.

MycoolFitz

Well I admit I don't party in Palm Springs but I also avoid Sober Parties, I don't want to see pie eating either. I just look for what I do enjoy and that I can enjoy sober. And I guess at this stage I'd rather be bored than drunk, but I'm neither bored nor drunk. I guess I'm just lucky that way. All my best to you.

maningup

Is that a fact? That drinking leads to drinking alone? Just asking, cause I was told that if I relapsed That I would come back to the rooms on my hands and knees destroyed. It was far from that for me, I had a few beers at a wedding and was back at AA the next day.

maningup

You are Lucky I guess! I hope I can one day get there, In my heart and soul I know I can and will, just dont know when.

Soberpotamus

I don't think any of us who are staying sober are lucky at all. We made a decision and are following through with it. At least, I know I am. And using whatever means we find that work.

It's good you know in your heart you can & will... and only you can decide when.

Anna

Hi,

It sounds to me like you are doing okay and that you don't want to stop drinking. And, it sounds like you're equating drinking with fun, and you don't want to stop having fun.

Yet, you say that the best thing for you is to be sober. Do you really believe that, and if so, why?

yogaisland

Yeah, I wouldn't judge sobriety as being boring because one sober event you went to was boring. Haven't you ever been to a function with alcohol that still sucked? I know I have.

But it could be that you're not an alcoholic. I know that my husband and I both drank heavily for the past couple years and have finally come out of that... with me sober and him drinking moderately. The difference between us is that he can sip the same glass of wine for two hours (literally, we'll watch a whole movie, he never gets up, but the glass is not empty at the end.) I drank it as fast as I could, rationalizing that because I drank chilled wines I couldn't sip or it'd get warm and be no good. Of course the problem was I'd refill as soon as I emptied a glass, rinse and repeat until the bottle was empty within an hour. I think he got to where he was trying to match my pace. But now he's able to go back to moderate drinking, while I'm not. He enjoys the flavor of wine and does not drink to get drunk (in fact he has not gotten drunk since I sobered up.)

I don't know your history or what problems you've had with drinking, but could your past drinking problems have been situational like my husband's were? Not that I am encouraging anyone to drink; I'm always of the mindset of better safe than sorry with drinking.

nogard

I am wondering why you go back to AA? If your ok drinking then? Do you think your an Alkie?

DaveO

Get rid of the T in cant

ADaisyifyoudo

If I'd been able to enjoy drinking in moderation I think I'd still be drinking. But I couldn't even enjoy my first drink if there wasn't enough alcohol in the house that I knew I could drink all I wanted (and that was a lot) without running out. Nothing like being drunk at home and wanting more booze but too drunk to drive out to get it.

Only you can decide if you need to stop drinking (which you say you need to), so there must be some reason you made that choice. But I can certainly relate to the feeling that it's not as much fun. Although alcohol definitely had control over me there were still plenty of evenings where I had a great time partying with friends, didn't get sick or make an ass of myself (although there were some that I did), and wanted (not needed) to do it all again the next day. I decided I had to stop before the days when I did black out, or do something embarrassing, or pick a dumb fight with my husband, became the norm, which I knew it eventually would. The trend was pointing in a clear direction for me: down. So, although there are times that I miss the "party" I don't at all miss where my life was definitely headed in the end state.

Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do.