coolidge

Just wanted to take the time to introduce myself. I am a 44 yr old Mom from Wisconsin. I have an alcoholic son. He has had an alcohol issue for about ten years which means he began his journey at 14 yrs of age.

My Mom and sister both successfully recovered from alcohol. At least I feel like they were successful, neither has had a drop since rehab and have gone on to find much happiness in life. My uncle drank himself to death. Point is I have experience with the disease in my past, like many others here.

I thought since I had been through this type of thing that I was an aware, awake and proactive type of mother. Never was alcohol in my house, have a supportive husband/father to our son (happily married for 25 yrs), was constantly there for my boys, etc. I thought if I could be a super-parent that I would never have to deal with alcohol again. The things we tell ourselves

So...my sons binge drinking and alcoholism has reached the breaking point and we have had NC for almost a week. I know that is not long but it is to us since we have always talked just about every day. I am broken hearted and scared, but the reason I signed up here, is that surprisingly I am almost relieved he and I are not talking yet at this time. I didn't expect that. This week was so peaceful and I was able to THINK for a change without all his drama and chaos. My health is in the toilet from stress and worry. Last night I slept for 4 hours and could not believe it. I am SO TIRED and emotionally exhausted that it feels like I have been ran over by a full truck from Miller Brewing. It's a sad and lonely place I never expected to find myself. Tried with everything in me to do everything right by my kids having started my married life with nothing. I have a lot of anger issues regarding my sons choices, or lack thereof.

Been reading the boards and learning. Just need some time to rest and get some strength back. I look forward to getting to know people here and get the help I need both here and at my local al-anon so that I can live a different life. Even if my son chooses not to. I'm so sorry to have to meet new people while I'm in this emotional and physical condition. The ONE thing I am happy about is not having to hide in shame...I won't do that anymore. There are a lot of things I won't do anymore.

least

Welcome to SR! Give a look to our friends and families forum for a lot of support and understanding.

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

artsoul

Welcome coolidge - I'm so sorry you're going through this with your son. I know you'll get a lot out of the Family&Friends section. People can and do recover from alcoholism every day, but if often takes a good amount of pain to get to the point where we (alcoholics) truly want recovery.

I'm glad you're taking steps to detach from the drama. The motivation has to come from him, as you know. Sending hugs and prayers that his turning point will be soon......:ghug3

jen7916

I think that you are a wonderful, "super parent" for loving your son so much and wanting to help ("save"? "fix"?) him, but it's up to him to make the change and nothing you do or say can make him change unless he's ready. Your health being 'in the toilet' due to stress & worry isn't helping your son, nor is it helping you.

When I admitted to my mom that I am an alcoholic, she immediately assumed that it was because of something she did, or that I blamed her/the way that I was raised. Truth is, she is a wonderful mother, none of those things are true, and I am an alcoholic because I am an alcoholic. When your son is ready for help (and hopefully he will be soon), it is up to him to take the first step and to do the work that is required. Until then, I hope you will continue to take care of yourself and get the rest you need.

Much love to you and your son. I hope you can find the peace that you deserve.

eJoshua

I had the same issue. It took a lot to convince my parents they hadn't messed me up. Alcoholism has no respect for good parenting.

Anyways, I just wanted to give some comfort to coolidge. I'm around your son's age (26) and I successfully quit (100+ days so far). There is hope out there for him. I wish you the best.

-Josh

Dee74

Welcome to SR Coolidge

I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation, but I know you'll find support here. Do check out the link least posted too

D

coolidge

Thanks for the welcome and I spent almost my entire time here so far (two days)reading that section, but there are others I've ventured into. I'm hoping to put together a post in more detail there as soon as I can get my thoughts together, I hope that would be the right section for me to do that. Sorry about removing link, forum mssg told me I had to have certain number of posts to leave it in.

Thank you! Soon. That is what I hope for. I hope it doesn't take another thirty years

Thank you Jen7916. I crave that peace and time to work on myself. Once in a while I think about holding him in my arms as a baby and all the hopes I had for him. Makes me cry. I can't stay stuck there though and talking about your Mom and her thoughts makes me realize how many mothers there must be out there who've been there. I hope your Mom has moved out of blaming herself.

Thanks so much Josh. "Alcoholism has no respect for good parenting." That is something I will be re-playing in my head for sure. I have hope for you to continue on your sober path! Over a hundred days is great and I pray for strength for you. Proud of you and I'm sure your parents are also

Thanks for the welcome D and all of you I'm very relieved I found this place. Very relieved!