basias

I have been struggling with binge drinking all of my life. I have had everything in my life, and lost everything in my life due to binging. I am at my lowest point right now and do not know what to do. I have been drinking for 2 weeks, no medical insurance, and only have 2 months of rent left. I am so ashamed of myself.......to let myself get this low is unbelievable to me. Right now I must watch each and every key that I touch because my hands are so unsteady. What to do? I need to detox but am so afraid of it. Being a binge drinker means I have consumed ungodly amounts of alcohol and the withdrawl is horrible. I am scared.

MycoolFitz

Reread you're post, could detox be worse than what you're going through now? And the dis-ease is progressive and eventually fatal if not stopped in its path. There is plenty of support here to help you. Once the alcohol is out of your system you will be able to see clearer and take action to turn your life situation around. If you can seek medical advise. The sooner you start the sooner you begin the healing process. Being afraid is natural, addiction isn't. Take care.

Boleo

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

basias

I did re-read my post, and it is true......I really do not know how to stop. I have tried AA.....but have went out after a meeting and got drunk with people who claim to have 10 years or more sobriety. What a crock ! I stated that I love health, exercise, vitamins, good food. I do fine for months.......but then something happens.......I get too confident and think that since I have done so well that everything will be fine if I get drunk. That is my downfall. When I start.....I can't stop. I lose jobs, lovers, family members, etc. etc. I just want someone to give me some guidance or at least listen to me.

MycoolFitz

I'm listening to you. I can tell you just stop and don't start again. Its simple but not easy. The diet, exercise, good food is really significant. When I quit the last time (and the detox was hell, complete with visual and auditry hallucinations) after I could semi function again I went on a nutrient rich diet with daily exercise, fresh air, meditation and spiritual readings and practice. I knew I had to begin the overhaul of every aspect of my being. I have good days and not so good days, I'm still haunted by losses and fears--who isn't? But I am sober and recovering and anything is possible--with destructive drinking nothing is. Please believe me, you have nothing to lose and your life back to win.

ajangel

I have had some serious symptoms from detox. It was scary yes. But I have come to realize. It is far scarier to go through detox then it is to know if I continue drinking, I will surely die. Take that first step. Get as much support as you can. Come to SR as often as you can. Be brave. You CAN do this.

basias

Really don't know what you are trying to say. I am just reaching out for some help because I hate where I am at. I am in a black hole and scared to stop drinking. I know what "stopping" means for me.........it is 1 to 2 weeks of hell.

artsoul

Welcome basias - First of all, you're not alone. Most of us were in a great deal of pain by the time we reached out for help. It's hard to do, but it can also be the beginning of a better life.

Do you have a friend or family member that can take you to the doctor (or ER?). You may need some medical help with detox. Don't let the shame or anxiety hold you back from doing the right thing. Doctors have to deal with this every day and you don't want to mess around with your life. (Detoxing is dangerous and unpredictable - it usually gets worse each time we go through it).

I'm glad you're here. A better life IS possible but we can't do it alone. :ghug3

1undone

Wow that AA situation to typed of is so not cool! WHO DOES THAT! Especially to someone new. I'm so very sorry! That's no AA group.

You are reaching your bottom. Is there anyone that can help you detox; a trusted friend? If you are shaking you need to have someone there with you.

Again, that was not AA and I'm really truly sorry.

basias

That response from you helped me a hell-of-alot ! Thank-you so much. Because I am a binge drinker.....I know the good side of life, and the desperation that a binge brings on. I appreciate any advice you can give me from here on out. I have 3 beers left in my refrigerator, and I KNOW

bigguyslimm

I myself was a binge drinker. I would drink for days on end, but was able to go a week as well. I too have no insurance. Don't get me wrong detoxing is horrible. But I feel so much better now being sober. The big thing to watch out for is DT's and seizures. I was lucky and didn't have to deal with those. But I know some people do.

basias

This web-site has me confused.....having a hard time navigating and responding to the people who have been kind enough to respond. I appreciate everything you say. My binge has left me without a job, which makes life even scarier !

sugarbear1

Those aa people may have been around aa for 10 years, but weren't working a program! Don't judge a program by a handful of posers.

basias

Thanks for your response......everything I get is so welcome. I always feel so alone when I am on one of these binges. My world seems to go from great to pathetic in a matter of hours. How do you get past those urges to binge? When the desire hits me......I get physically ill, start thinking crazy, heart races and get a bad taste in my mouth. Is that normal, or am I just nuts?

sugarbear1

Get medical detox and possibly a treatment center and sober house. The rest will fall into place. Try sobriety! Your life is just crumbling while you allow your disease to kill you.

basias

No, my family are in California......I have caused them enough pain......don't need to involve them . I need to stand up for once in my life and be a man. I am so tired of hurting people. Thank-you for your response.....but I have had bad experiences with AA.

basias

Thanks so much for your reply. I have 3 beers left and if I am going to be honest.......I WILL drink them. I am scared of tomorrow morning, it is Sunday and I won't be able to buy booze until 12. I want to make this the LAST time but don't want to go through the terror that I feel while detoxing. Like I said before, I am a binge drinker, and the amount I drink in a binge is incomprehensible......therefore.....the detox is horrible.

GettingStronger2

Then make it your last time. you will have to go through detox, we all do. you go though it anyway, and then repeat. So at some point, you need to break the cycle.

you are not alone, and you will find support here, but you will also need support where you are.

artsoul

You seem to be navigating just fine so far!

Sorry to hear about your job. You'll probably hear from a lot of people here who were in the same boat. I'm self-employed, so I couldn't get fired. Infact, I could actually drink while working (yikes). I almost had foreclose on my house just a month after getting sober (very frightening for a single mom). I'm still getting back on my feet financially but I'm proud of myself today for turning things around.

Just remember that drinking creates huge anxiety and depression, so everything looks bleak right now and just feeds into our desire to have "just one more drink." It's always just one more......

Keep reading and posting - we all care a great deal and know how hard it is.

.

Hevyn

basias - I'm so glad you're here at SR, where we all understand and share the pain you're going through. You never have to feel this miserable again - once you get the poison out of your system you will begin the heal.

I'm a lifelong drinker - never thought I could enjoy anything without booze being involved. I spent many years trying to control it, not quit. In trying to have "just a few" once in awhile, I destroyed my life, hurt and confused my closest friends and relatives, & damaged my health. Once I let go of the guilt and remorse I felt, I began to come out into the sun again. Don't waste any more of your life beating yourself up because you have a disease! Be kind & patient with yourself as you let go of your old lifestyle.

The fact that you're here is a great sign - you're reaching out for help & hope. You want a better life for yourself, and you will have it. Please keep posting & let us know how you're doing.