Poooh

Hi I been doing a lot of reading and researching about DUI and job searching like crazy to just feel better because I think this DUI is just eating me alive..
I know and so shameful about what I did.. My friend picked me up to go out that night and I somehow ended up driving and I know I shouldn't have.: honestly I dont remember getting behind the wheel.. Now I feel horrible and depressed and even tried to hang myself..
I feel like everyone will judge me if they find out about this and I feel so shameful that I can't even look at people in the eyes..
When I finish school, I was looking forward to move out of state or even country to look for a job..
Now I'm stuck here till I pay off all the fines and treatment classes and also 3 years of probation.. The lawyer said it would be ok to move once I finish the treatment but I have no clue where I should go from now on..
My family lives in a different state and been asking me to mov back in with them.. Couldn't tell them I was in trouble..
Now it's finally time for me to find a career and i feel so trrible for having 2 dui s at this age being a female..
I mean who would hire me???
And my major is Psychology.. Haha
I should stick well on my waitressing job..

I lost everything.. Family friends future health smile..
I'm forbidden to feel better now huh..
I don't know what to look up to now.. The only reason I didn't kill myself was because of my mom.. I feel like I should live feeling deadly depressed only to keep my mom away from being depressed about my death..

psilyguy

Yep it sucks bad! I got my 2nd DUI last year, one year of prob, 9 days in jail, countless amounts of money spent, and lost my license for 2 years. Luckily I work from home or I don't know what I'd do for a job. Best of luck, not much advice on my end, I'm still fighting the urge to have a drink now and then.

Poooh

I stopped drinking because I found out that it makes me more depressed..

Elisabeth888

All you can do is put one foot in front of the other and move forward. Worrying and beating yourself up is not going to help anything.

As you complete each of the things you were ordered to do, you will see a light at the end of the tunnel. I am throwing myself into community service for 32 hours a week and it helps a lot.

This is a small part of your life and you will get past it. Hopefully, more importantly, learn something from it.

As far as DUIs and job search- I am just going to be honest about it. It is what it is.

MycoolFitz

If you feel bad enough to want to kill yourself get professional help. You're a pscyh major (I've been there). Alcohol and its fallout effects not only our physican selves but our mental and emotional selves as well. We're seeing ourselves, the world and our problems through deeply distorted lenses. Get sober, get professional help and move on with your life. It may suck now, but you're young, educated and it will get better if you do. Take care.

Terminally Unique

You may feel the after-effects of the drinking, particularly depression, for up to 90 days or so, depending on intake. Beyond that, though, you may want to speak with a psychiatrist if you are still chronically depressed.

Anna

Try to remember that you do not need to allow others to judge you.

You are where you should be in your life and learning what you need to know.

Focus on your recovery and be open to what's happening in your life now. You can't move away and job-hunt as you wanted to, so what is open to you now. You can find gratitude in that you didn't hurt yourself or someone else when you were driving drunk. You are meant top be alive, and the Universe is handing you something different from what you planned.

ACT10Npack

I can understand how that goes. I myself will be doing probation for my 2nd DUi charge. I was so worry that I would not get a job because of it. But the truth is that if it does not invoke driving or if your arrest was with money then people just don't care. That maybe didn't if the interviewee had got hurt in a Dui relate accident then you would not get the job. Its just all worries and in your head. Start focusing on finishing your treatment and community service and get back into life.

IndaMiricale

First welcome,

You will find great support here. Like others have told you try not to get caught up in "what people think of you " throw that out

Focus on you , you are young an a couple dui is a sign of trouble,and also some bad luck combined. Make it worth something years down the road hopefully you can look back and it will almost be a positive thing.

Gone there and a year ago i also was caught, which turned out to be my second within 6 years and 3 within 20. I lost my car, job, 2 years of licecense, 20 days in county jail, 2 years of probation including random drug/alcohol test being etg test, and not to mention 10k in lawyers and court. So it is what it is but for me it got me sober

I hope good can come out of it also for you

sugarbear1

Did you kill anyone?

Get to an AA meeting

Try aa online

Listen to AA spekers online (you already had a blackout durimg your DUI)

Read Alcoholics Anonymous online

Get to a meeting and do what it takes to be & stay sober.

Tuesday24

I know it feels horrible to be in your position. However, it could have been much, much worse.
You can move away to another state or country to get a job but our "problems" tend to follow us regardless of geography. I hope you find the support and courage you need to lead the life you dream.

ulverston

listen to what anna said....
she nailed it right there// fantastic advice..
where you are is where you are ,and where you are supposed to be .
we are at earth school and we are here to learn some valuble lessons..some of them not so nice.
some people have done terrible things while drunk..thank your lucky stars it wasnt as bad as it could have been
good luck and be strong.

nodl5

i've had 4 dwi's and have a 5th pending! you are going to be okay! just find someone in an AA meeting. they know what you are going through.

i just had a daughter. i found that i needed help. so i started going to meetings, i went to a 28 day treatment program. i started getting honest with myself. once i did that things got much easier. i am working the steps and am on 4. it's funny when i put problems on paper and then look at them, they get smaller and easier to deal with...

judges see people do good things for themselves. alcoholism is not new. the best thing i found out in treatment is that i am not unique and there are thousands like me struggling in life. i have a new chance now. i have lost the craving for a drink. no matter how much jail time, if i even get any, is nothing now due to this wonderful Miracle that has happened.

get help and stick with it. go to meetings, stop drinking and get a woman sponsor. good things will happen to you!

ACT10Npack

Nodl5 your on your 5th DUI and you can still drive? I thought you can't drive after your 4th.

nodl5

@ACT10Npack - depends on the time frame. my 4th had less punishment than my 2nd, which i got just after my 1st. i lost my license for 4 years. best 4 years of my life!

1undone

Pooh, I am a Psych major too. I can't even begin to tell you how many counselors that work in hospitals have DUIs. It's people like us that understand the ones that are in treatment and struggling. I'm not saying that to work in our field or use our degrees we have to have any kind of MVA or DUI. I'm just saying that many if not most people with our degrees have them because we had a need to learn about our minds and the "human condition."

As was said, you are exactly where you need to be at this time. There are things you need to learn and go through. You will get through this, killing yourself isn't helpful and would hurt those you care about more than a couple of DUIs.

Keep doing what you have to in school and tell your pArents you need help. If not them another adult you can trust. I hope if this ever happens to my child he will come to me and not think death is the answer. (hugs)

Poooh

Hi all
Thank you guys for kind words and hugs
Thought I'd update since it's been awhile
I've done all of the court stuff except for 13 weeks of alcohol treatment that starts next week
If I finish the program successfully I can ask the judge if I can move out of state which I'm eagerly hoping..
I just miss my mom sooooo much in fact I think I'm just longing for some caring.. Since I cut all of my friends out of my life.. I know it's bad but looking at them having normal life just breaks my heart that I can't feel the same way..

I'm here to ask some questions though..
I will have to tell my mom eventually if I decide to move back in with her, but I would hate to have her worry to death about me and stress out about it because she didn't do a single thing wrong because it's a mistake that I have made as an adult.
So I been thinking about going out of country (motherland) to look for a job if it's possible..
Or a friend of mine is working at a city where I dont have to drive.. She said there are a lot of jobs there but I know for sure that I wouldn't be using my education background..

I have tons of student loan debt to pay starting soon and I screwed up so bad that I don't know how I'll be able to pay it back..

So I have 3 choices
1. Move in with mom
2. Go to japan (motherland) and try to get a job with your degree (but I dono if I would be able to make enough money)
3. Go to where your friend is at ( I think I can make the most money here.. She didn't indicate exactly what she does.. I think basically serving or bartending)

I'm asking you guys this because I have no friends to talk to now.. And from the previous posts I know there are a lot of wise people here.. So please help!

ACT10Npack

Good to hear your feeling better about things. Remember to stay strong and don't drink alcohol. I know it's a hard thing to do for most of us but make this a life lesson and focus on your recovery.

Many people have problems that never get treated and go through life and we all thing that you can move on and live a happy life. It will not be pretty but if you follow the correct path then things will end up okay.

Reset

I'd say you should just tell your mom what happened. The truth is going to come out anyway eventually and trying to keep the secret is going to cause you a lot of internal turmoil. You also may be surprised by her reaction.

If you want to go to Japan, go! But don't go because you're running from your problems, go for the experience or because you feel it would be the right move for your finances and career path. By the way there should be ways to find out about the job prospects in Japan in the psychology field.

Mark75

Get recovered... then figure out what you want to do. The only thing I would suggest is to pass on the Bartender job, LOL.

So, just go one day at a time, for now. You do need to make plans for your future and start you career, but do that when you are in a position of strength. After the treatment program and as you feel stronger.