been such a long time..wanted to say hello
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 457
been such a long time..wanted to say hello
to all my friends..I wanted to stop by and say hello and give you all an update. Im so sorry I havent been around,but want you all to know I think of you all every day. I hope I dont appear selfish, but been busy and needed a break, not from you , but from addiction. Our divorce was final in april, after 27 years of marriage. I must say it was an ordeal which wasnt pleasant nor easy to go through, but it was my only alternative. I couldnt live with it anymore. I was able to keep the house in the settlement and have to pay alimony (he is disabled fully now) and been busy with fixing it up (apt.for new tenants) and must say I did pretty good doing it all by myself! so how is life? some days its sad and some days it good, but I can honestly say that Im doing much better than I was when we first seperated 12/09. As much as I didnt want this ending, I let it happen, I just couldnt live with it anymore. at first, as we all can probaly say, I did it for him but with working my recovery I did it for me.
I get lonely and I get scared but so far I made it
...I still cry but not like I used to. time heals the wounds. Never in a million years did I think I could do it...as much as we feel we are weak, we are just as strong.
now how is my exah? well, he had to move 8 hours away,he had no choice and I do hear from him from time to time, nothing has changed. Its so sad to listen to him and see where his life has brought him, but I have accepted finally that I couldnt control it and it was his choice. I couldnt give in, I just couldnt continue living that way, it put me in a dark dark hole.
what am I doing with my life at 51?? going to divorce support groups, trying to find a new life, trying to find happiness/serenity and I must say I am able to get out and about much better than ever before. My self esteem has improved, my guilt has lessened and I know there is more life to live, there are others who also exp.what I have and I have learned to take it one day at a time!! im not as lonely as I thought I was, heck everyone gets lonely but now its time to take care of me and find a future for me,wherever that may be I leave that up to my high power, after all, my high power has gotten me here today
My cancer is still in remission!! although I look horrible, Im happy to say medically Im okay...in time I know that will improve too..
I want to thank each and everyone of you for giving me the strength, the courage, the knowledge to move forward. To walk away from addiction, to stand up to it, to know what the illness does to not only our loved ones, but us as well.
I continue to pray, I pray for him and I pray for myself too. for anyone going through this, please know that it does get better...I didnt think it would, but it does..might be bumpy ride,but in time it gets smoother.
I hope my story helps another , I hope my story gives hope to another. No one can tell you what to do, but dont give up hope, keep seeking support and you will get the answers...
stay strong and keep the faith!!
hugs and thoughts and prayers to you all..and a special thank you to atalose for being there for me every step of the way..
xxxooo
I get lonely and I get scared but so far I made it
...I still cry but not like I used to. time heals the wounds. Never in a million years did I think I could do it...as much as we feel we are weak, we are just as strong.now how is my exah? well, he had to move 8 hours away,he had no choice and I do hear from him from time to time, nothing has changed. Its so sad to listen to him and see where his life has brought him, but I have accepted finally that I couldnt control it and it was his choice. I couldnt give in, I just couldnt continue living that way, it put me in a dark dark hole.
what am I doing with my life at 51?? going to divorce support groups, trying to find a new life, trying to find happiness/serenity and I must say I am able to get out and about much better than ever before. My self esteem has improved, my guilt has lessened and I know there is more life to live, there are others who also exp.what I have and I have learned to take it one day at a time!! im not as lonely as I thought I was, heck everyone gets lonely but now its time to take care of me and find a future for me,wherever that may be I leave that up to my high power, after all, my high power has gotten me here today
My cancer is still in remission!! although I look horrible, Im happy to say medically Im okay...in time I know that will improve too..
I want to thank each and everyone of you for giving me the strength, the courage, the knowledge to move forward. To walk away from addiction, to stand up to it, to know what the illness does to not only our loved ones, but us as well.
I continue to pray, I pray for him and I pray for myself too. for anyone going through this, please know that it does get better...I didnt think it would, but it does..might be bumpy ride,but in time it gets smoother.
I hope my story helps another , I hope my story gives hope to another. No one can tell you what to do, but dont give up hope, keep seeking support and you will get the answers...
stay strong and keep the faith!!
hugs and thoughts and prayers to you all..and a special thank you to atalose for being there for me every step of the way..
xxxooo
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Welcome home, Tam :ghug3
I honestly hear a new strength in your post here and the freedom or perhaps peace that you have been waiting for.
I know all this was very hard for you, change usually is, but I don't think it is as hard as staying would have been.
You will be okay...you ARE okay, and my wishes for you are that each day brings you more blessings and light.
Keeping you in my prayers that your life blossoms as you continue your journey into the next chapter.
Hugs
I honestly hear a new strength in your post here and the freedom or perhaps peace that you have been waiting for.
I know all this was very hard for you, change usually is, but I don't think it is as hard as staying would have been.
You will be okay...you ARE okay, and my wishes for you are that each day brings you more blessings and light.
Keeping you in my prayers that your life blossoms as you continue your journey into the next chapter.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
((((((tam))))))) you are one strong lady facing each day with new hope, new wisdom, courage and strength. You will continue to walk this journey called life with your head held high and the grace you my friend have shinning through you, and maybe with new bangs!!! LOl
((((tam))))))
((((tam))))))
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
Tam,
so glad to hear from you. It sounds like you are managing your circumstances amazingly well! You are right - there just comes a time where you can't take it anymore. I'm really glad that you have checked in.
Keep us posted on how you are doing! Donna
so glad to hear from you. It sounds like you are managing your circumstances amazingly well! You are right - there just comes a time where you can't take it anymore. I'm really glad that you have checked in.
Keep us posted on how you are doing! Donna
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: carolina girl
Posts: 578
Glad you checked in, with your success story. Always good to hear from those who emerge on the other side strong and capable. Gives us hope.
Thanks for sharing, and we'll always be here, no matter how long the sebatical is!
Thanks for sharing, and we'll always be here, no matter how long the sebatical is!
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
You sounds strong and at peace- so happy to hear that. And thrilled with your health news too. I am a firm believer that positive energy can help in all manner of healing. Thanks for stopping in and please don't be a stranger.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
(((tam)))
Hey my friend - so glad to hear from you!
good news on the remission - I pray you continue on your path of healing physically and emotionally!
Keep taking care of you ~ remember YOU deserve it!
PINK HUGS!
Hey my friend - so glad to hear from you!
good news on the remission - I pray you continue on your path of healing physically and emotionally!
Keep taking care of you ~ remember YOU deserve it!
PINK HUGS!
Awesome Tam...you have a lot to be proud of!!!
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