ZeldaPinwheel

AH went to outpatient rehab three years ago, had a recent relapse...swore off alcohol forever (the relapse was sparked by his belief he could drink socially again...yadda, yadda, yadda, he can't). So today he did a lot of yard work and I smelled that sick -sweet alcohol sweat smell..and asked if he was drinking again? He did that like "horrified I even asked"
thing..I backed off, knowing that he's going to drink or not drink no matter what I say...but I'd love to be wrong.

Ultimately my question is, anyone know an alcoholic who successfully quit drinking without any external assistance? Eg AA, sponsor, therapist, etc?

ZeldaPinwheel

BTW, I meant "Hackles Raised By Smell"...iPhone typing kills my editing skills.

gerryP

I was sober 3 weeks before I went to AA and continued going to meetings for about 2 years. I started seeing a therapist shortly before I left AA which helped me immeasurably. I still see him on a less regular basis actually.

Here is the thing. Stopping drinking is the first hurdle, in fact many therapists will not see you until you have stopped. The 2nd hurdle, I believe is getting to the core reason one feels they need to numb out from reality. For some it is a mental health issue ie depression, anxiety PTSD, Bi Polar etc. If that should be the case, a diagnosis and treatment is key. Staying sober for me was multifaceted, but I am doing well 6 years later.

ZeldaPinwheel

Good for you! This is what I wish for my AH - he needs a good therapist to help him find alternative ways to deal with whatever booze 'cures' for him, but I know I can't get him there by bitching and crying (I've tried that route). I hope he's not drinking again...I'm very weary of this routine. Very weary.

ZeldaPinwheel

Okay - technically we are in a good place, but facing a lot of change in the near future. We are selling our house (open house was today...already have three offers, so 'yay!') and are moving closer to family (which may harm his recovery, but help in mine and support for DD). I know what I can handle, and what I can't. I need to pick up 'co-dependent no more' again. Thanks for asking!

wywriter

In a word, no -- in my experience, I've known a few people who have been successful in recovery (my mom is going on six years sober now), but none that have gotten there successfully without outside help. To me it's kind of a logical outcome -- they got into the shape they are in when they didn't have external help, they still have the same challenges of thinking and behavior that they've always had, so where is the change that brings about change? That's not to say it can't happen, I'm sure it can and has, but never in my experience...and trust me, my life is SATURATED with As and RAs.