Yes, I'm Sad For Amy Winehouse, BUT...
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 26
Yes, I'm Sad For Amy Winehouse, BUT...
...How in the name of oven mitts is it helpful to post a thread in the newcomers' forum (or anywhere on this site, for that matter), that's riddled with such sentiments as...
"She's in a much better place now", "She's finally free of her demons", "She no longer has to struggle", "She's found peace at last", "She is happy with her loved ones", etc...?
Am I crazy? Or are you all making death by addiction sound a hell of a lot better than getting sober? Jeez, it sounds positively like freaking paradise.
Meanwhile, almost all other threads inform a newbie that true recovery isn't possible, you'll always be addicted and never 'cured', it's a lifelong daily struggle, and basically everything about it sucks.
Am I missing something? Or are these dangerously contradictory messages?
"She's in a much better place now", "She's finally free of her demons", "She no longer has to struggle", "She's found peace at last", "She is happy with her loved ones", etc...?
Am I crazy? Or are you all making death by addiction sound a hell of a lot better than getting sober? Jeez, it sounds positively like freaking paradise.
Meanwhile, almost all other threads inform a newbie that true recovery isn't possible, you'll always be addicted and never 'cured', it's a lifelong daily struggle, and basically everything about it sucks.
Am I missing something? Or are these dangerously contradictory messages?
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
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I take her death, end of her struggle, as a reminder that "but for the grace of God go I". Or quite simply a reminder of what can and most likely will happen to me if I go back out drinking.
It is unfortunate that for what ever reason she died before finding a solution to her addiction problems. The fortunate side to the is that places like SR are living reminders to us all that there are solutions to our problems and many, many people have found them.
It is through SR that people can see they do not have to die to end their suffering but they can find lives they never even imagined. There is hope for everyone unless they give up and stop trying.
So no I don't see the message as contradictory, just a way to learn
I should add that I am very sad for her family they are the ones who will have to live with her death for the rest of their lives always wondering if there was more they could have done when she was a train wreck only she could stop but gave up or just died before finding that solution.
It is unfortunate that for what ever reason she died before finding a solution to her addiction problems. The fortunate side to the is that places like SR are living reminders to us all that there are solutions to our problems and many, many people have found them.
It is through SR that people can see they do not have to die to end their suffering but they can find lives they never even imagined. There is hope for everyone unless they give up and stop trying.
So no I don't see the message as contradictory, just a way to learn
I should add that I am very sad for her family they are the ones who will have to live with her death for the rest of their lives always wondering if there was more they could have done when she was a train wreck only she could stop but gave up or just died before finding that solution.
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I don't see anyone saying, or implying, that death is the (only/best) way out of addiction, only that it's sad and frustrating that someone could have so many chances and so many options and still succumb to addiction.
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Thank you, and I'm sorry to disagree. But pretty much all I've learned today is that poor Amy is finally in a happy, bouncy, cloudy, worry-free place where she no longer has to struggle with any of her demons. Sounds good to me.
Try to make me go to rehab, I guess I should also say
Try to make me go to rehab, I guess I should also say
rode hard and put away wet
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 999
"Or are you all making death by addiction sound a hell of a lot better than getting sober?"
The point is that she didn't find sobriety and the way she was living was just no way to live. I know because I have lived that way. I remember being so drunk and checked out. The way she died is not the way I would want to die either. I can't even imagine her last moments of life; alone and in the throes of death. How terrifying.
I don't know if she's in a better place, but when I hit bottom I came pretty close to death. I don't know why I did not die. I could just as easily been found dead of an overdose alone in my house. Since I obviously lived, I had only two choices; get sober or die. I picked the former.
I hope I never see and never cause such hell again.
The point is that she didn't find sobriety and the way she was living was just no way to live. I know because I have lived that way. I remember being so drunk and checked out. The way she died is not the way I would want to die either. I can't even imagine her last moments of life; alone and in the throes of death. How terrifying.
I don't know if she's in a better place, but when I hit bottom I came pretty close to death. I don't know why I did not die. I could just as easily been found dead of an overdose alone in my house. Since I obviously lived, I had only two choices; get sober or die. I picked the former.
I hope I never see and never cause such hell again.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
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Well she might be at peace but she's also dead.
A lot of us have found peace without paying that price.
And yes while I beleive I will always be an addict I am very happy. It's not a daily struggle at all. It's a daily.. consciousness maybe. But that consciousness makes me very happy. As long as I don't drink, it's all good. I have been sober for almost a year and haven't had a serious craving since the beginning.
Sometimes we read what we want to hear. Any chance you're doing that? I know I did at one point. For example, I wanted to hear that everyone drank way more than me and the only way to recover was to spend hours a day sitting in a smokey depressing church basement worshiping Jesus. If I believed that I could keep drinking
A lot of us have found peace without paying that price.
And yes while I beleive I will always be an addict I am very happy. It's not a daily struggle at all. It's a daily.. consciousness maybe. But that consciousness makes me very happy. As long as I don't drink, it's all good. I have been sober for almost a year and haven't had a serious craving since the beginning.
Sometimes we read what we want to hear. Any chance you're doing that? I know I did at one point. For example, I wanted to hear that everyone drank way more than me and the only way to recover was to spend hours a day sitting in a smokey depressing church basement worshiping Jesus. If I believed that I could keep drinking
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I guess you'll choose to hear what you choose to want to hear.
Standing on 17 years of sobriety, I can tell you it is not a "daily" drudgery. For me, sobriety has moved me from living in victim mode and isolation to a peaceful coexistance with others; and to understand that I don't have control over people, places and things. The only thing I have control over is myself; and I can live with that. As a matter of fact, I am happily living with that, and that has changed my life for so much the better that I am grateful every day - no matter what's going on on the outside.
The initial struggle to stop using is just that; a struggle. Some struggle more than others; some never make it out of their addiction. Amy Winehouse is one who did not. So yes, she is now in a better place.
She met the ultimate "bottom", and maybe the lesson in that is people can start to question how many more bottoms they have left in them. I am one who believes you don't have to "bottom" out; all you need is a burning desire to stop the madness.
Many, many others HAVE made it past the addictive behaviors and are living sober lives. What you are watching others do on the newcomers thread is supporting each other with their experience, strength and hope. We make it through this "thing" together. That's why people come to SR and become involved in treatment plans and programs. We learn from each other.
So saying no, no, no to rehab is a choice; just like every other choice you have in life.
Standing on 17 years of sobriety, I can tell you it is not a "daily" drudgery. For me, sobriety has moved me from living in victim mode and isolation to a peaceful coexistance with others; and to understand that I don't have control over people, places and things. The only thing I have control over is myself; and I can live with that. As a matter of fact, I am happily living with that, and that has changed my life for so much the better that I am grateful every day - no matter what's going on on the outside.
The initial struggle to stop using is just that; a struggle. Some struggle more than others; some never make it out of their addiction. Amy Winehouse is one who did not. So yes, she is now in a better place.
She met the ultimate "bottom", and maybe the lesson in that is people can start to question how many more bottoms they have left in them. I am one who believes you don't have to "bottom" out; all you need is a burning desire to stop the madness.
Many, many others HAVE made it past the addictive behaviors and are living sober lives. What you are watching others do on the newcomers thread is supporting each other with their experience, strength and hope. We make it through this "thing" together. That's why people come to SR and become involved in treatment plans and programs. We learn from each other.
So saying no, no, no to rehab is a choice; just like every other choice you have in life.
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 72
No-one is glorifying her death via addiction. Those are merely sayings that people use to express sadness at the death of someone who has fought a battle for survival prior to their death - be that from a serious illness, disease or addiction.
Her death has obviously struck a chord with many of us here. As much as I hope she has passed onto a better state of being, I would not change places with her. Where there's life there's hope. It's a struggle sometimes but it's worth it and better than the alternative.
Her death has obviously struck a chord with many of us here. As much as I hope she has passed onto a better state of being, I would not change places with her. Where there's life there's hope. It's a struggle sometimes but it's worth it and better than the alternative.
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
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What do you say when someone dies? It isn't just when someone dies from an addiction, it is anytime. People try to offer comfort to a devastating experience. It is awkward and hard to find the words. I have seen these words exchanged hundreds of times and thought nothing of it. As I see it, it has nothing to do with addiction. It has to do with death before someones time, period.
It is a sad situation. Honestly, I will say that I am not surprised by Amy's passing, not at all. When someone is deep into their addiction as she was, it is highly possible the addiction will win and the victim will succumb. Am I without compassion, no. All I knew about Amy was what the press had on her. We have all seen the ravaged photos and videos of her deep into her drugs and alcohol. She was much more than that. I found out when I starting goggling Amy to find out more about her. She was a beautiful woman with talent. What happened? I don't know. However, I do know about addiction and it had a hold on her tight. Addiction is tough, a grasp tougher than we are at times. Be it famous in the media spotlight or just a hometown girl struggling to get by, it sucks. What can you really say other than it is sad and she in gone before her time. It can be fought and won, but sometimes we will be the loser, unfortunately, with great sadness.
It is a sad situation. Honestly, I will say that I am not surprised by Amy's passing, not at all. When someone is deep into their addiction as she was, it is highly possible the addiction will win and the victim will succumb. Am I without compassion, no. All I knew about Amy was what the press had on her. We have all seen the ravaged photos and videos of her deep into her drugs and alcohol. She was much more than that. I found out when I starting goggling Amy to find out more about her. She was a beautiful woman with talent. What happened? I don't know. However, I do know about addiction and it had a hold on her tight. Addiction is tough, a grasp tougher than we are at times. Be it famous in the media spotlight or just a hometown girl struggling to get by, it sucks. What can you really say other than it is sad and she in gone before her time. It can be fought and won, but sometimes we will be the loser, unfortunately, with great sadness.
Trudging that road.
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Maybe those that have lost loved ones to addiction have more of a cynical view? Which I understand. Don't know...just know that it is sad when any one loses the battle to addiction. I thank God for giving me another chance and will take it one day at a time and choose to live a better way of life. Thank you all for sharing your struggles and solutions here at SR...I will be forever grateful. All my prayers to Amy's loved ones.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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As a Secular Humanist I don't get it either; I believe there isn't "a better place" after death. Ones "after life" is what you've accomplished on this Earth and how you're remembered by family, friends, and others.
You have but one life - LIVE IT!!!
You have but one life - LIVE IT!!!
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Location: Australia
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Or are you all making death by addiction sound a hell of a lot better than getting sober?
Meanwhile, almost all other threads inform a newbie that true recovery isn't possible, you'll always be addicted and never 'cured', it's a lifelong daily struggle, and basically everything about it sucks.
I spent 20 years being miserable, often in fact wishing I could die, but lacking the courage to go through with it.
I completely destroyed my life not once but twice through addiction.
The last 4 years of my life, after I finally put the down the bottle, have been the best of my life.
I'm happy and I like who I am.
Those are two enormous gifts that I hope everyone here gets to share.
I've never regretted getting sober - it's been the best thing that every happened to me and I hope I spread that message in every post I write
D
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Originally Posted by lilacgirl 
...How in the name of oven mitts is it helpful to post a thread in the newcomers' forum (or anywhere on this site, for that matter) that's riddled with such sentiments as...
just my .02, like you had yours.!!!!!!!!!! dont like it get the popcorn, i can go on from here w/the day i just had!!!!! just sayin'.......................................... R.I.P. Amy.
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I never saw anyone suggest Amy was happy and bouncey now that she is dead. I think people posted that they hoped she was in peace now. There's a big difference.
I never suggest that true recovery isn't possible. True recovery is possible and that is why I am here, alive, and have been for years. Yes, I will always be an addict, but NO, my life is not a daily struggle, and NO, things don't suck.
I never suggest that true recovery isn't possible. True recovery is possible and that is why I am here, alive, and have been for years. Yes, I will always be an addict, but NO, my life is not a daily struggle, and NO, things don't suck.
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Originally Posted by least
....it's sad and frustrating that someone could have so many chances and so many options and still succumb to addiction.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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I imagine that, along with help, she also had a more than her share of people trying to take advantage of her, kiss up, make excuses. It's a life that 99.9% of us will never understand.
I didn't read any other threads on Amy Whinehouse so I can't speak to what folks are saying there but I think LosingMyMisery hit the nail on the head with this:
I didn't read any other threads on Amy Whinehouse so I can't speak to what folks are saying there but I think LosingMyMisery hit the nail on the head with this:
What do you say when someone dies? It isn't just when someone dies from an addiction, it is anytime. People try to offer comfort to a devastating experience. It is awkward and hard to find the words. I have seen these words exchanged hundreds of times and thought nothing of it. As I see it, it has nothing to do with addiction. It has to do with death before someones time, period.
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lila
i lost a dear friend, and future wife.
one that was 28 years battling alcoholism and addictions.
30 rehabs on the dot!
she just never could hang on to recovery and sobriety.
was she a bad person, no, was she not a kind and loving person, no,
was she a train wreck when active, yes!
that person is SR's own miracle, and my dear departed trish
is she better off now, yes,
and the world is a safer place
i lost a dear friend, and future wife.
one that was 28 years battling alcoholism and addictions.
30 rehabs on the dot!
she just never could hang on to recovery and sobriety.
was she a bad person, no, was she not a kind and loving person, no,
was she a train wreck when active, yes!
that person is SR's own miracle, and my dear departed trish
is she better off now, yes,
and the world is a safer place
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