Raptor

Hey all, just thought i would post a comment relating to my current sobriety record og 5 weeks today. Although im gratefull for this huge personal achivement after being a binge drinker for most of my adult life, im still batteling with one major "strong hold" which always seems to catch me around the 5/6 week mark. This is complaicenct and im getting a dose of it at the moment.
The following thoughts are rattling around, like marbles in my brain:

* Hey you have made it 5 weeks without a drink... nooo problem, you have passed so now you may have a few tonight, after all its FRIDAY
* You coudlnt have a problem, you are fine, you are normal.
* Just take it easy and you will be ok, you CAN be a social drinker

So hence my worries.

wellwisher

Recognition of your pattern is a good start, and the question I would be asking myself at this point is, what am I going to do that is different this time?

What could be said about doing the same thing in the same way and expecting different results?

Earlier in the week, someone posted the story of Two Wolves. It is an old Native American parable in which a grandfather is speaking to his grandson and telling the tale of two internal wolves. One wolf represents peace and love, the other represents the "dark" side. They are fighting. The grandson asks which one will win. The Grandfather says, "the one that we choose to feed."

If those wolves were named "sobriety" and "alcoholism", which one will you choose to feed?

If you choose to feed sobriety, you will find the solution. And you don't have to do it alone - there is plenty of support out there. Sometimes we need the help of others to get past our own stumbling blocks.

Glad you posted. You can do this, as many have done before.

ozgoddess

Great reply WellWisher... couldn't have said it better myself.

Remember why you want this Raptor. Your sobriety is worth protecting for all those reasons you wanted it in first place.

:ghug3

ajangel

I had the same exact thoughts two weeks ago. I made it 60 days. Now back at day 10. That voice will be with you for awhile. After awhile, it will get tired of being ignored and only pop up once in awhile. Don't let it lie to you. It is not fine. You DO have a problem. Tell that voice to shut the hell up. Stay strong. I have to tell myself that everyday, sometimes 6 or 7 times a day. You can do this.

Dee74

I expect you'll be hearing from a lot of people who thought those kinds of things...and listened...and later regretted bitterly that they could have been so stupid.

Add me to the list - I rationalised myself back into drinking many a time.

If you're having the thoughts and rationalisations, and you feel vulnerable - reach out - use whatever your support network is and use it to the hilt.

Thinking the thoughts is a long way from acting on them...and one doesn't have to follow from the other

You can do this raptor
D

doggonecarl

Speaking from the other side of six weeks, it gets easier. The "voice" realizes that its deceptions aren't working and fades. But if you surrender to the voice of alcohol, you have to go through this all over again.

Hang in there.

24hrsAday

in A.A. in the Big Book it talks about "the Great Obsession" of every abnormal drinker.. Raptor you made me think of it reading your post. i always thought i was OK until i was Positive i was not.. and i knew i was going to die if i did not stop.

Lynzi

TOTALLY AGREE the people here are so great they understand it is fantastic that we have this place to find compassion and understanding, its the truth, you do not have to call yourself an alcoholic if it makes you feel that you need to prove to alcohol that you are not just remember how many times alcohol has made you feel like **** all the guilt the wasted time the fool that you made of yourself thats all then if you want to go back wards have a drink...silly idea pointless move and I do not know how old you are but trust me the older you get the more it creeps up on you in your looks your mind it is just horrible treat yourself with kindness an love even if you feel un loved try to love your self be selfish for a little while and put yourself first and you will get stronger...
No judgements im on day 4 ha ha ha but been there a few times wasted many years and if my words can encourage one person that makes me feel great!

BurnsCarpenter

I hear you Raptor. I'm afraid of the same thing. I'm going to write a letter to myself about why I stopped 5 days ago and how life is better and what is was like before. I'm also going to read the material I got on the biochemical effects of drinking on the body. that stuff scares me. Whatever works, eh?