tka

I've been thinking; I know you can have people committed if they seem mentally unstable. If I had a social worker come by and talk to my dad and they seen how what he says doesn't make sense, would that work to force him into treatment? If he's not taking care of his basic needs? If I explained how he is going out of his way for money for a bottle? Like the other day, I threw some cat food cans out with cat litter(from the cat box)...well.. he actually went into the garbage to get the cans..and rinsed off the cat poop...so he can turn the cans in for money... it just seemed so far out that a normal, sane person wouldn't go through that much trouble for a bottle of vodka.


Also, on another forum someone mentioned maybe I could press charges against my father and force him into rehab - since he has taken things that belonged to me, and when he's drinking he starts breaking things and yelling. Not sure if I could do this since he doesn't physically hurt me, but it still gets pretty scary when he's yelling.

Anyone know if either of these things would work? I know if I attempt them and they don't work I maybe causing more trouble for myself, so trying to hear how the process might work.

JustAYak

I believe the only way they can be forced into help is if they are suicidal and/or a threat to others around them.

If you have documented the stolen things with reports to the police, you would have a chance at pressing charges, but that has to be done immediately after the fact, you can't wait on it otherwise they have no gravity in court.

Sorry, I hope the situation gets better for you.

tka

thanks... I guess I will look into filing reports from now on. I just wish I could get him out of the house and into rehab for a couple of weeks so I can gather my things together and prepare to leave; I have to worry about turning my back on everything because he might take it and sell it quick.

micealc

For what its worth tka.........................Im an Alcoholic...............I was enabled for years by my Mother.

I met up with a Girlfriend and we set up Home in Flats/Appartment............we had our first baby...............Some months after ............I went back on the Drink,she had never seen me Drunk up until then.
I was taking Prescribed Pills while I was not drinking.

What did she do................she left me...............baby and all.................left me lying in my Sick bed...............She done the right thing........she took care of herself and our Baby.............
I sobered up...........found out where they had gone and was I Happy to have found them again.
She did not enable me.............If I wanted to be a part of there lives I needed to get myself sorted out.
That was 26 years ago..................I went to AA............Counciling.............Im now attending ACA.
So looking back.......... my Girlfriend took no sympathy for me,She was not going to tolerate my Drinking ever.
Sense then I also got off Tranqualisers..........as well Tough but I did it with Support from Drs and AA fellowship.
So you see what worked on me........I was left to Shape up or Die.
I choose to Shape up ,and Im so glad I did.
That Girlfriend is my Wife ,the Baby is now 27years,I have a 23years old son........14 year old daughter,our own house,work,2 Cars,Dog,cat,Im a respected member of my Community.
Good luck to you.

GingerM

Depending on both your state and county, and on the age of your dad, some counties have services for the aging/elderly who could go check on him and decide if he is capable of meeting his own needs. If he is actively threatening violence (that includes throwing things at you without actually hitting you) you can call 911 (or 999 if you're in Europe) and ask for police support. The police can't force him into recovery, but they can take him to the 'drunk tank' to sober up, buying you some time to get your stuff together.

If your primary desire is to leave, you can ask for a police escort. You get your stuff together, you call the non-emergency police number, you set an appointment with the police to come escort/guard you while you leave.

If you want more accurate answers than this, I suggest calling whatever your social services government agency is. They will have all of the information you need for local services available and for what your local options are.

It's taken me a long time to learn that there are a LOT of services out there and a lot of ways one can utilize those services. It's hard to think straight when you're in the thick of it, but a couple of phone calls might give you some relief.

I'd like to point out that nothing I said above has to do with your dad changing. You can't change him. You probably can't force him into rehab. You didn't cause it, you can't control it, you can't cure it. But you CAN take care of yourself.

tka

thanks for sharing. Glad everything worked out for you. I have told my dad I won't be bothered with him once I leave and he will need to straighten out before entering my life again, but it hasn't shaken him to change.

It'll be sad that if/when I do start my own family he might not be around to share it... Just amazing how important a bottle of vodka and a can of beer can be to someone.