5 Months but still a long way to go
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
5 Months but still a long way to go
Well at midnight it will be exactly 5 months, Feb 19th to July 19th or 149 days.
For the most part Life is better but it brings its challenges, I suppose these challenges are what ‘normal’ people have dealt with all along in ‘normal’ ways, I used to deal with them in ways that left me hung-over and it worked too, temporarily, but the issue remained.
We each have our own circumstances but there are a few areas in my life that I am not really comfortable with yet, things that feel like 1000 pounds of stress, things I could easily wash away with a few drinks or more. I guess I am getting better at it and keep pushing through it, somehow I always get to the other side but sometimes it feels like there’s no end in sight.
I will say that each morning when I wake up I have no regrets about not drinking the night before, that’s been said before but its soo true.
I read a lot here on this forum, it helps a lot…
I post this tonight for 2 reasons, 5 months (Yay me!) and because I didn’t have that great of a day today, tomorrow will be 5 months and I want to get this off my chest so I can go in to work tomorrow with some humility, I need to apologize to someone, it’s something I am not too good at and I must get better at it sober.
If I’d been drinking tonight I bet ya I’d already called him up and said I was sorry, not a good excuse but I know this because when I drank I had to do it often.
Thanks for reading,
For the most part Life is better but it brings its challenges, I suppose these challenges are what ‘normal’ people have dealt with all along in ‘normal’ ways, I used to deal with them in ways that left me hung-over and it worked too, temporarily, but the issue remained.
We each have our own circumstances but there are a few areas in my life that I am not really comfortable with yet, things that feel like 1000 pounds of stress, things I could easily wash away with a few drinks or more. I guess I am getting better at it and keep pushing through it, somehow I always get to the other side but sometimes it feels like there’s no end in sight.
I will say that each morning when I wake up I have no regrets about not drinking the night before, that’s been said before but its soo true.
I read a lot here on this forum, it helps a lot…
I post this tonight for 2 reasons, 5 months (Yay me!) and because I didn’t have that great of a day today, tomorrow will be 5 months and I want to get this off my chest so I can go in to work tomorrow with some humility, I need to apologize to someone, it’s something I am not too good at and I must get better at it sober.
If I’d been drinking tonight I bet ya I’d already called him up and said I was sorry, not a good excuse but I know this because when I drank I had to do it often.
Thanks for reading,
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
5 months is huge, way to go. Well better not to apoligize sober than to apologize drunk. There's always tomorrow. Doing things sober takes time but you must practice it to get better. I'm sure you will.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,371
5 months is great SB...
We all have our journeys I think.
I don't know if I had more to sort out than most, but it took me the best part of a year to feel comfortable with my life and myself...I still have the stresses and the worries that I think everyone has, alcoholic or not, but I deal with and react to them differently now.
I know peace now, I guess
D
We all have our journeys I think.
I don't know if I had more to sort out than most, but it took me the best part of a year to feel comfortable with my life and myself...I still have the stresses and the worries that I think everyone has, alcoholic or not, but I deal with and react to them differently now.
I know peace now, I guess
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Big Congratulations! Recovery is a work in progress. Your a little anxious about the apology but I'm sure you"ll feel so much better when its done. No one is perfect! We just try to improve day by day. I'm still learning and I have 13 months now. It's good your reaching out and posting. I learn something new everyday. Sometimes a different perspective is all we need.
:day1
Best Wishes To You!
:day1
Best Wishes To You!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 551
Hello, I am so glad you posted. I am just over 6 months and I have been looking around the forum to relate to those around the same time as me. It is great helping and supporting the newcomers and and also hearing from the long term but this middle ground is an interesting journey also.
I can really relate to you. I have had some really unusual stressful situations lately, I have been rejected a few times in a row, illness in the family, but I have not taken to the bottle, I have cried and tried to understand these new emotions that I used to just make numb with drinking. I am not sure who I am just yet, but I am glad I am not what I was. Not sure what is around the corner, it appears life has many curve balls.
One of the worst things is looking back at the wasted years, the wasted relationships, the ones that are damaged. But step by brave little step I am rebuilding. I know things won't be perfect and I so long to be in a loving relationship but I am giving myself time. Sorry I am hi jacking your thread! Just really needed to share also. Congratulations on your 5 months.
I can really relate to you. I have had some really unusual stressful situations lately, I have been rejected a few times in a row, illness in the family, but I have not taken to the bottle, I have cried and tried to understand these new emotions that I used to just make numb with drinking. I am not sure who I am just yet, but I am glad I am not what I was. Not sure what is around the corner, it appears life has many curve balls.
One of the worst things is looking back at the wasted years, the wasted relationships, the ones that are damaged. But step by brave little step I am rebuilding. I know things won't be perfect and I so long to be in a loving relationship but I am giving myself time. Sorry I am hi jacking your thread! Just really needed to share also. Congratulations on your 5 months.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
Ring you’re not high jacking, that’s what the forums for! Thanks for posting, I feel the same way that this 5-6 months is middle ground, I’m not sure if this happens to you but I go a few days before I realize I haven’t checked my sober time in a few days lol. So now were on to the next event, life’s a journey!
Thanks to all that posted, it really means a lot.
In business there is a fine balance between friends and partners and it seems I am all out of friends (currently) which shift things all to one side.
That leaves family, I can be so cynical at times, the things I say and do, you’d think I was training a new employee. I got so much to learn, I’m the one that needs teaching a thing or two.
My dear family supports me so much but when they have a bad day I need to be there for them too…
Yes, I got lots of learning to do, I suspect were never done learning,
Thanks to all that posted, it really means a lot.
In business there is a fine balance between friends and partners and it seems I am all out of friends (currently) which shift things all to one side.
That leaves family, I can be so cynical at times, the things I say and do, you’d think I was training a new employee. I got so much to learn, I’m the one that needs teaching a thing or two.
My dear family supports me so much but when they have a bad day I need to be there for them too…
Yes, I got lots of learning to do, I suspect were never done learning,
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Congratulations on 5 months - that's awesome!
No doubt about it, life is definitely a challenge. But you're right: I think it's that way for everyone. Just know that you're already a winner by staying sober through the stressful times. I'm proud of you for deciding to apologize to that person, too. Keep up the good work!
No doubt about it, life is definitely a challenge. But you're right: I think it's that way for everyone. Just know that you're already a winner by staying sober through the stressful times. I'm proud of you for deciding to apologize to that person, too. Keep up the good work!
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 245
Congrats man. I'm at just over 5 and a half months at the moment, and slooooowly things are noticeably improving in my life. A simple example is, to my amazement, I am able to call up a new friend and ask them to hang out. In the past, I would only be able to hang out with someone in a drinking atmosphere, and connect with people through drinking. The possibilities for friendship seem limitless now.
Then of course there are the obvious benefits of not drinking. My favorite is no hangovers. I went for a run last Saturday morning. I remember in my drinking days sitting on my porch, feeling like I just got hit by a car, smoking a cigarette, and wondering how in the hell someone could be running on a Saturday morning. It feels good to be on the other side of that.
Thanks for posting this topic. It's good to see others who have around the same sober time as me, and discuss the benefits of our sobriety.
Then of course there are the obvious benefits of not drinking. My favorite is no hangovers. I went for a run last Saturday morning. I remember in my drinking days sitting on my porch, feeling like I just got hit by a car, smoking a cigarette, and wondering how in the hell someone could be running on a Saturday morning. It feels good to be on the other side of that.
Thanks for posting this topic. It's good to see others who have around the same sober time as me, and discuss the benefits of our sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 587
I am with you, it is a journey. So guess what today you are moving into your 6 month, isn't that fantastic to start a new month?
I see so many improvements from not drinking and I am definitely pushing forward, but I still have my evil voice telling em, how about a glass of wine as a reward. I chuckle, alcohol is a poison, not a reward.
Congratulations again
I see so many improvements from not drinking and I am definitely pushing forward, but I still have my evil voice telling em, how about a glass of wine as a reward. I chuckle, alcohol is a poison, not a reward.
Congratulations again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
Thanks everyone, I normally don’t repost to a thread that’s been pushed to page 2 but I wanted to update.
The guy I was going to apologize to today didn’t show up today, and my mind was doing all kinds of crazy thinking, at one point I really considered drinking, I mean if I am really messing everything up sober why not?
Turns out after I get home and sulk for a while longer and ponder what it would feel like to just get plastered I get a text msg from this guy saying he was sorry about what happened.
I immediately felt better but it struck me that I could have texted him as well, I told him that it was me that went off the handle, he was already having a bad day, I should have understood instead of blowing up. I told him that I should have come to him first, anyway I am getting carried away here but my point is our minds can really play with us, I was thinking the guy quit over it, when really he just needed some time to deal with some things…
That drink was within reach today though, I even dreamed about it last night, yes a new month, I am going forward and doing some inventory!
Steps 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 & 9 are starting make a lot of since now…
To be honest the steps 2 and 3 were holding me back, but him texting me right at that darkest moment was really crazy!
The guy I was going to apologize to today didn’t show up today, and my mind was doing all kinds of crazy thinking, at one point I really considered drinking, I mean if I am really messing everything up sober why not?
Turns out after I get home and sulk for a while longer and ponder what it would feel like to just get plastered I get a text msg from this guy saying he was sorry about what happened.
I immediately felt better but it struck me that I could have texted him as well, I told him that it was me that went off the handle, he was already having a bad day, I should have understood instead of blowing up. I told him that I should have come to him first, anyway I am getting carried away here but my point is our minds can really play with us, I was thinking the guy quit over it, when really he just needed some time to deal with some things…
That drink was within reach today though, I even dreamed about it last night, yes a new month, I am going forward and doing some inventory!
Steps 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 & 9 are starting make a lot of since now…
To be honest the steps 2 and 3 were holding me back, but him texting me right at that darkest moment was really crazy!
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