MycoolFitz

Funny, I've been alone 2 years (since my last divorce) and really haven't experienced lonelyness. First I was too busy insolating myself from the world and reality throught booze. Then I was so concentrated on my sobriety and all that entails I think that was also kind of insolating. This afternoon I'm feeling a twinch of what I believe is lonelyness. Not sure why but maybe its part of leveling out. Lonelyness is just another of life's emotions, not bad not good just is. Something I guess I'll look at dealing with, I don't need to isolate forever. I do know that picking up is not in the equation and that alone is comforting. Maybe I need a dog or a cat or a cuddly goldfish or a friend? Not sure why I'm posting this but it helps me feel less alone. Thanks.

Soberpotamus

(((Fitz)))

...a pet really might help!

It helps me just seeing them nearby. I can't help but smile at them. I have 3 kitties... and one has been with me since 1997, 15 years old. She's been with me my entire drinking career, which became a problem 15 years ago. So... she's seen it all, poor thing. But... she was there when I was all alone at times and felt horrible. I have a connection with her that runs deep.

Nothing like waking up in the morning with 3 cats laying on the bed... stretching, yawning... and demanding their breakfast!!

bayliss

I definitely agree with SoberJennie - I have a kitty as well that is always there when I'm feeling down in the dumps and he is 14 so he's an oldie as well. They definitely have a sense when you're not feeling the greatest or when you're feeling lonely.
I would love to have another one, but can't due to where I live. Boo.
Hope you feel better soon MycoolFitz!

SASA

sorry to make this all about cats now. I have 3 inside and 2 strays I feed. definitely they keep me busy.2 of them saw me while I was drinking poor them, I thy to give them back extra food now

Soberpotamus

They really do know if you're upset... my 15 yr old cat has an uncanny way of finding out when I've cried or I'm seriously upset. Not sure how... but it amazes me. I think she has great empathy or compassion. She's a moody, depressive type herself... so maybe she just connects on that level.

Cats are good friends & therapy And the silliness about cats not being "obedient" or coming when you call them... nonsense. My 5 yr old cat, Ava is the most obedient pet I've ever owned. She will come every time she's called. And she follows me around the neighborhood like a dog when I go for walks... so does the 1.5 yr old.

ETA

What if you became a foster parent for dogs that need adoption?

Not only would it be a great thing to do for the many dogs that need good homes but you would also be getting involved with an adoption agency and meet some new people.

The group in my area has all the foster parents meet up on Saturday morning in front of the pet store to show off the dogs that are up for adoption.

MycoolFitz

All that sounds good. Until I can move out of the little apartment I'm in (hopefully next spring) it'll probably have to wait but I can always explore options. I lost 3 wives, 3 houses, 3 dogs and 7 cats to divorce because of my drinking. I do miss the dogs and cats. :-)

raindancer11

Reading and posting are both very helpful to me. No one I know has a problem, or that I'm aware of. I can't talk to anyone about it so it makes me feel alone sometimes. I have reconnected with some old friends who don't drink. While they can't relate to my issues, it helps to have these friendships to feel that sense of connection.

ReadyAndAble

I can totally relate! (See, you're not alone after all).

I isolated myself when I drank, and in a different and infinitely healthier way, isolated myself to recover. I'm starting to emerge.... but I definitely feel lonely at times, especially on those days when my daughter is at her mom's house.

I have a cat and a dog; they do help, especially the dog (I've always been more of a dog person).

My fish? Not so much. They all died; I can't detect any difference in my mood.

SomethingBetter

I Have a loving family but i do feel alone at times, i got a kitten 4 weeks ago, it needed a home. wish i'd of checked for fleas though, now we have 2 dogs, 1 kitten, 5 fish and 100's and 100's of fleas!

I agree with raindancer, sometimes just reading here helps,

kcbf

There is growth in loneliness so do your best to embrace it because you really learn a lot about yourself in that place.

Dogs are good companions I will say. I unfortunately had to put my dog of 15 years to sleep a few months ago. Right now going through detox and working on becoming sober makes me only wish he were still here as he was the one I talked to and just hugged when I was feeling lonely. Maybe a dog would be a good friend to have right now, they definitely are therapeutic.

Sorry to hear you are feeling lonely. Keep posting and maybe that'll help too!

wellwisher

Isolation at first was a big part of my recovery. I started out isolated by pretty much destroying family relationships, meaningful friend relationships, and no job with no prospects. My "friends" were addicts and alcoholics. I had to remove myself from many situations and people that were around me in order to get sober. It kind of created a vaccuum for me where I cut those people out, but aside from attending meetings and therapy, I had a social "void" for the first year or two. My SO stayed with me, but his friends were not my friends. They did "guy things" together; and they did so pretty frequently. I didn't cling to him; he was entitled to his own life. Life as I had known it had pretty much come to a halt.

I lived on a houseboat on a canal, and I would see people going by on their boats with a bunch of people and their cans and coolers of beer, set for a day of fun. Ironically, the coolers didn't catch my eye; it was the fact that those people were all together and about to have fun that caused a pang in my heart.

Eventually, my one-man life raft reached shore. True to form and as experienced many times during my sobriety, people began appearing in my life when I put my foot out there. I met friends in the rooms, college courses, by entering fishing tournaments, etc.

I'm always on the look-out for opportunity. About 11 years ago, I had the chance to buy a home about 175 miles away for a reasonable rate on a lake. I pretty much picked myself up and started all over again. I opened a business, which kind of forced me to put myself out there, and now, I have people all around me that I can relate to and it makes me feel like I am contributing by providing a needed service. It never would have happened if I succumbed to the loneliness and if I started drinking again to kill that lonely pang.

And, yes, my dogs were there for the entire journey and dogs being dogs is just a pleasure beyond belief.

The people in my life today appeared when I tried to do the "next best thing". I kissed a lot of toads along the way, but there were always lessons in those experiences.

Grateful for my AA recovery. Keep the faith. Better days are coming. It happens when we work on the next best thing. Sobriety first; and then things just start rolling when we spread our new-found wings.

Zencat

In CA I can have a pet in no pet apartment/rentals because of a law that allows therapeutic friend pet...same law that has one the gift of a seeing dog if needed...no matter where ones lives.

Looking and will have one soon, a kitty that I will train to walk the streets with me...er ah sidewalks ok. In an apartment building that dose not allow pets except under the handy cap laws.

Q: Anyone can suggest a trainable bread of cat?
Thanks all.

Soberpotamus

ZenCat, my 5 yr old Ava is a Snowshoe mix. She's my "smartest" cat, the most trainable and by far the most personable of the three. I would suggest a Snowshoe and maybe a Siamese.

remily

Um, Jennie - you didn't train that cat. From the looks of it she trained you!

24hrsAday

Zen man you Crack me up! a trainable Cat!?!? :rotfxko let me know if you find one..

Soberpotamus

She might've trained me just a little... But, I really did train her to do a trick where she stands on her back legs and "high fives" me, or sometimes it turns into sort of a headbutt. And other times she'll grab my hand with both her paws to make me rub her on the head All while standing on her hind legs.

MycoolFitz

I had a cat in college I trained to ride everywhere on my shoulder, I think I thought it'd attract co-eds. Unfortuantly, it rode on my shoulder to many a bar. I wonder what it was thinking? Hell, I wonder what I was thinking.

Soberpotamus

LMAO... are you serious?? That's the funniest thing I've read/heard all day...

raindancer11

LOL me too! Thanks for that.

Jennie, what a cutie your cat is!