canyouhearmenow

hello,
I've been sober for over month and it has been easy for most of the time but this weekend proved to be tough. We had a dinner with both sets of parents and my father who is an alcoholic drank close to two bottles of wine and a couple of beer. He completely let me down and embarrassed me. I never felt the need for a drink until that night. This made me realize why I started drinking in the first place.

I'm happy to say I didn't give in because of the support of my SO.

The question I have is how to deal with extreme emotions without turning to drink or losing it uncontrollably on people. I'm struggling right now because I don't know how to deal with these emotions without drowning them in liquor.

MycoolFitz

You can't learn to deal with extreme emotions until you give yourself the gift of experiencing them without the numbing effect of alcohol. It takes time and dedication and you'll find strong emotions won't kill you. They come and go and sobriety allows you to build up the old emotion muscles so you become stronger and stronger in dealing with them.

littlefish

WELCOME!!!!!

We all feel so many fears and I sure know how that feels. I think the best thing to do if you have accepted you are an alcoholic is to find a program and various methods of support. We often find it hard to do this alone.
I know I needed structure and support. There are actually a lot of options. Medically supervised detox. Rehab---in patient and out patient. I used outpatient support for over 2 years and then gradually moved into AA. I do not push AA but it has worked for me, so I simply recommend something to keep you inspired.

ajangel

We are a product of our environment aren't we? My father was a drunk. I hated him most of my life. I swore I would never drink. When I finally realized how bad I am an alcoholic and what it does to the spirit, I forgave him. He is not his self. You cannot change what people around you do, you can only chose to change how to respond. You showed great strength not saying anything to him or taking that drink. Some day, you may want to express to him when he is sober that you prefer him not to drink at your home. I had to do that with my family when I was sober. I quit for 10 years and my family would come over trashed. In front of my children, making assess out of themselves. It's a tough thing to deal with. I have to learn how to deal with not wanting a drink under any stress circumstance. Good luck love. Great job.

canyouhearmenow

Thank you everyone for your support. This weekend just took me back to all those awful times I had to deal with his drinking as a child. Once I was legal to drinkmit went down hill and every time I was mad, sad, humiliated I would gulp down whatever drink I had. Now it's different because I have no where to run. It's weird and scary. I think it probably right that I deal with these emotions head on but it's super hard. I've a crying wreck and my poor SO has been extremely supportive but i dont think it's fair to him. Maybe I will seek therapy or maybe I'll find a different outlet, I'll just have to see.

Thank again.

Soberpotamus

I very much relate to your story. My mom was an alcoholic and amazingly... somehow I didn't connect my drinking with hers. I guess I was determined to show our family I could do exactly as a pleased... and dissassociate myself from them in some way. I'm not sure yet the root of it... I guess I drank for many reasons. Like you, it probably started at home as a child for me... not to mention the genetic connection.

FNW

I think I boo-hooed the entire first year. It was rough to Learn new emotions that I had suppressed odor sssoooo long! Fear, anger, sadness, joy- it's getting easier as I learn more. Best to you!

Dee74

I was always scared of strong emotions - that's part of the reason I started drinking - to numb them, to not feel them...of course when I got sober, I had to face them and learn to deal with them.

It wasn't easy...it took a while to learn to sit through stressful & uncomfortable situations and emotions sober and to learn the skills needed...but I did...

I know you will too canyouhearmenow - each time seemed to me to get a little easier for me - stick with it

D