hi
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1
hi
Hi,
I had no idea what to do so I decided to seek opinions/help here. Thank You for your patience.
I have always been a drinker. When I was 16 i used to drink on the weekends heavily. When I went to college it got worse, around 4 days a week. I was able to quit for a year but then an opportunity to open a bar, which I proudly own, as it's constantly full but it opened certain (wrong) doors for me. I'm not just the owner, I'm a bartender in it too. Must customers pay me shots and drinks all night and,I know that it's wrong to use this as an excuse, but it is business. Right now I am feeling very down and depressed. This has been going on for 10 months and although I have been responsible about not driving when drunk (I abandon my car at the bar and take a taxi) I somewhat feel my health rapidly decreasing.
I was also able to refuse certain types of drinks and convince my costumers to pay me a bottle of wine instead. But I usually drink 3 to 4 bottles a night. When I cannot escape (shots as an example) usually makes me a very strange person the next day (I'm a happy drunk, not aggressive).
I thinking of selling the bar to get my life back, as my family has been very distant because of my two jobs I barely have time for them. This should be the best decision in my life because the health problems disappearing and regaining my family will make life worth leaving again. Also the obvious profit should allow me to build my home
My problem is I don't know if doing this will make the desperation and depression problems I have been going through. And THIS is the reason I decided to seek help.
Thank You again for Your patience and sorry for my english writing, it's not my native language. Also sorry if I went too personal about my life, as I have zero experiente with this help seeking thing.
I had no idea what to do so I decided to seek opinions/help here. Thank You for your patience.
I have always been a drinker. When I was 16 i used to drink on the weekends heavily. When I went to college it got worse, around 4 days a week. I was able to quit for a year but then an opportunity to open a bar, which I proudly own, as it's constantly full but it opened certain (wrong) doors for me. I'm not just the owner, I'm a bartender in it too. Must customers pay me shots and drinks all night and,I know that it's wrong to use this as an excuse, but it is business. Right now I am feeling very down and depressed. This has been going on for 10 months and although I have been responsible about not driving when drunk (I abandon my car at the bar and take a taxi) I somewhat feel my health rapidly decreasing.
I was also able to refuse certain types of drinks and convince my costumers to pay me a bottle of wine instead. But I usually drink 3 to 4 bottles a night. When I cannot escape (shots as an example) usually makes me a very strange person the next day (I'm a happy drunk, not aggressive).
I thinking of selling the bar to get my life back, as my family has been very distant because of my two jobs I barely have time for them. This should be the best decision in my life because the health problems disappearing and regaining my family will make life worth leaving again. Also the obvious profit should allow me to build my home
My problem is I don't know if doing this will make the desperation and depression problems I have been going through. And THIS is the reason I decided to seek help.
Thank You again for Your patience and sorry for my english writing, it's not my native language. Also sorry if I went too personal about my life, as I have zero experiente with this help seeking thing.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Venus, Space
Posts: 757
Hey Lifeistooshort-
I found that my depression lifted immensely by getting sober and focusing on my recovery with as much energy as I put into my drinking.
The desperation also faded into the distance as I began to get more and more comfortable dealing with life sober. It didn't happen overnight but it has happened, life went from feeling hopeless to hopeful.
As far as the bar is concerned, that's really a personal decision. For me, there's no way I could own a bar- there's too many other things I can do in life to make money that I wouldn't be able to justify the mental pretzel that situation would produce day in and day out....
Oh and welcome to SR!
I found that my depression lifted immensely by getting sober and focusing on my recovery with as much energy as I put into my drinking.
The desperation also faded into the distance as I began to get more and more comfortable dealing with life sober. It didn't happen overnight but it has happened, life went from feeling hopeless to hopeful.
As far as the bar is concerned, that's really a personal decision. For me, there's no way I could own a bar- there's too many other things I can do in life to make money that I wouldn't be able to justify the mental pretzel that situation would produce day in and day out....
Oh and welcome to SR!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,383
Hi and welcome
Noone here can tell you what to do of course... but I know my ill health, my depression and my relationships all got a lot better when I stopped drinking.
Have you sought a professional opinion? I think only a Dr or therapist could advise you whether your depression and desperation is likely connected to your drinking, or whether it's something else.
I know what I'd bet tho
D
Noone here can tell you what to do of course... but I know my ill health, my depression and my relationships all got a lot better when I stopped drinking.
Have you sought a professional opinion? I think only a Dr or therapist could advise you whether your depression and desperation is likely connected to your drinking, or whether it's something else.
I know what I'd bet tho
D
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