Serenity8

LexieCat's post really made me think about this.

One of the greatest gifts I have been given is that I am comfortable being alone. In the past I have made decisions based on fear, based on staying with someone because I wasn't sure what they would do without me or how they would fare without me to help them.

But the GREATEST gift (and al-anon has helped me tremendously with this) is that I am not afraid to be alone. I am not afraid to be uncomfortable/jittery/nervous. I have learned to breathe through it, pray through it, and know that the panicky, loss of control feeling won't last forever. Even when it is HORRIBLE, I know it will pass eventually. I don't need another person to "fix" it for me.

Thank you, Lexiecat, for reminding me how far I've come!!!

Freedom1990

I don't remember the first time I was okay with being alone, but it is a wonderful feeling.

I totally enjoy my alone time these days.

The house is quiet when I get up. I let the dogs out and start coffee.

Then I do my morning readings, drink coffee, and watch the dogs out the window in the back yard.

There are far worse things in this world than being alone, and I have lived my share of them!

Serenity8

Exactly, Freedom!!!

m1k3

I was afraid of being alone also but now I have to admit I prefer it.

My mornings are similar to Freedom's. Get up in the morning, take care of the cat, do my readings and write in the journal. After that I fix up some breakfast, usually eggs (yum) and head off to work.

Life is good.

Your friend,

Latte

When I separated and divorced from my first husband, someone said, there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. It's true to this day. While I enjoy my time with friends and family I also enjoy my time alone.

TeM

I've never had much problem being alone. Over the past few years, I've come to prefer it. My AW, on the other hand, has always been a very needy, clingy person. To be fair, she would probably complain that I'm a distant, cold person. Maybe she's right. In any case, we were probably a mismatch from the start.

I do believe that she's a person who draws her self-worth and happiness from other people. When she stopped working, she just sat around the house alone all day, and I'm convinced that the boredom was one of the factors which led to her drinking problem.

In any case, I think learning to be happy alone, or at least content, may be helpful in recovery.

TakingCharge999

My mornings are the same: wake up to two cats staring at me sitting on my tummy, demanding breakfast lol, then having some milk with chocolate, turning on the computer, working, get ready for the gym, perhaps dinner with gym friends. Weekends: yoga, painting, reading. Sometimes social events...

I love silence and nowadays, listening to the rain at night.


I don't need much else. This is it. I have never been happier or healthier.

StarCat

I love my alone time.

My psychologist used to push me to go out into the world, join things, meet other people, and that's one thing I pushed back on. I've got Al-Anon, I've got work, and that's enough for me right now because it is important to get to know the wonderful person called "me" now.
I do things on weekends with my recovery friends, certainly, so I do have a social life!
But I have a relationship with myself now, as well, and things I love to do by myself - reading, gardening, playing a computer game, watching shows that I want to watch, cuddling a kitten... And I won't trade that in for anything.

chrisea

silence - life is good

Wendy1967

A BIG AMEN to that!

I guess one of the best things that could come from me staying with my AH for so long during his binges..is that for the last 5 years I've weaned myself off of feeling so alone without him. He's been so aweful to me that I can't imagine being WITH him for more than 30 seconds. I have also learned to rely only on myself. He's not there for anything anymore. Car repairs? I call my son. Roof needs fixed? I call a friend. I don't expect anything from him so I don't even let it bother me anymore when something goes wrong and he's not there to support me. I guess he was my best teacher for independence in a weird and messed up way.

I'm looking forward to someday waking up in my OWN bed, making coffee and enjoying the sound of birds or my cats...not the sound of a raging angry alcoholic with issues.

Serenity8

I was just saying something similar to a friend, that my ex h's incompetence really forced me to grow and do things that I might not have done otherwise. And if I can't do it myself, I can find someone to do it for me, whether it's a friend or I just pay someone.

chrisea

I learned alot thru the years, on how to live by yourself, even when I was with someone. Toolkit now includes - duct tape, cell phone, gps, AAA & even have my emergency funds back

Reminds me of a portion of a film - "My mother decided to change her priorities. She discovered she didn't need a husband. Although she had plenty of offers. Often think about those months that we spent on the road together. Trying to find someone to take care of us. What we found instead is that we didn't need anybody else. That we could take care of ourselves just fine. Thanks all the same." ~ "My One & Only" George Hamilton

Mavis1

I've been alone for a long time now and for the most part, I'm fine. the only day/night of the week I don't like being home alone is Saturday, i don't know why, guess it's because I think of all my friends who are home but not alone, actually with a loved one and it hurts. during the week, I don't think about it much at all, I'm so busy and then I can actually do what I want to do, I'm relaxed, comfortable, at peace and find so much serenity just lying on the couch with my kitty on my lap either reading or typing away on my laptop. Life doesn't get any better then that. I have options today that I didnt' have until recently, I have a release from that terrible horrifying anxiety that I always had in the pit of my stomach just worrying all the time about my exhusband. Now that he has passed, I sleep better and dont have anything to worry about anymore. it's been a relief for me. I do think about him still every minute of every day but when I'm home alone, Ii'm safe, the bills are paid, the house is decorated just as I like and there is food in the fridge and veggies growing in the garden. I love my alone time. I know it's not forever but for now it's okay, just for today, I can't wait to get home to my little house and get in overalls and work in my yard. it's all mine. peace to you all. m