Please help me forget what I saw last Saturday..
Please help me forget what I saw last Saturday..
I went to pick up my belongings from XABF last weekend and never expected to see what I did. Okay, he told me he had an occasional glass of wine, even tho he shouldn't with cirrhosis. He was limping, couldn't walk, had a cut over his swollen eye, his glasses were broken in one frame, and he had cuts on his arms. The man I remember at Christmas, opening a bracelet I gave him, looking so nicely put together, and saying, "I'll never take it off, hon.." who has part ownership in a company and is intelligent..how could this be? When I asked what happened, he said he tried to jump over his fence in the backyard to his neighbor's house on the 4th of July. When I asked if substances were involved, he sheepishly said "Yes". I told him that we are not in our 20's any more, and we can't do those things. Obviously, nothing I said affected him. I gave him many weeks with no contact, and this is what I find - accelerated craziness. I can't get this picture of him out of my mind and keep crying thinking I am going to get a phone call soon saying he is dead. I am in AlAnon and they do help me tremendously. But tonight, I need your wonderful words and inspiration, as I read the amazing things you all write. I miss the man I used to know, and I feel so alone. I don't know who this person is. My children are great, but no one replaces the soul mate I could call anytime...
Alcoholism is a sad and tragic disease. People can, and do, die from it. I don't know of any way to "erase" those images. I have plenty, myself, from when my second husband almost died. I'm amazed he is still alive. What I had to do was to stop subjecting myself to it.
There is nothing you can do to help him. I'm glad you are going to Al-Anon.
There is nothing you can do to help him. I'm glad you are going to Al-Anon.
I went to pick up my belongings from XABF last weekend and never expected to see what I did. Okay, he told me he had an occasional glass of wine, even tho he shouldn't with cirrhosis. He was limping, couldn't walk, had a cut over his swollen eye, his glasses were broken in one frame, and he had cuts on his arms. The man I remember at Christmas, opening a bracelet I gave him, looking so nicely put together, and saying, "I'll never take it off, hon.." who has part ownership in a company and is intelligent..how could this be? When I asked what happened, he said he tried to jump over his fence in the backyard to his neighbor's house on the 4th of July. When I asked if substances were involved, he sheepishly said "Yes". I told him that we are not in our 20's any more, and we can't do those things. Obviously, nothing I said affected him. I gave him many weeks with no contact, and this is what I find - accelerated craziness. I can't get this picture of him out of my mind and keep crying thinking I am going to get a phone call soon saying he is dead. I am in AlAnon and they do help me tremendously. But tonight, I need your wonderful words and inspiration, as I read the amazing things you all write. I miss the man I used to know, and I feel so alone. I don't know who this person is. My children are great, but no one replaces the soul mate I could call anytime...
Lexie, thank you for telling me someone else lives with these images and goes on. It gives me hope. Rayn, your advice is totally correct; since I am not seeing my therapist until tomorrow, I know she would say the same thing! Taking my twins to the mall today, which we never do, just to browse, so thank you. Hwsm, thanks for reminding me of that important lesson; my kids so need to see mom strong right now. Try different AlAnon groups until you find one that fits for your "home base". Also, go to at least 6 meetings before you decide if it is a good decision. I'm sure you will; it's my lifeline..
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