sweetteewalls

I have been working on detaching from my separated RAH and I realized that he isn't in recovery, only sober. He is going to counseling and AA but he isn't doing the work other than physically going and I am detaching because I am tired of being concerned for his physical and mental health when he is not. It is the hardest thing that we share a 3 year old, so minimal interaction is necessary. He is so unfeeling and cold to me like I am not his wife and we weren't just working on rebuilding a month ago. I realize it is just a shift in thought. He is not the person I thought he was. He is sick but has no desire to get better. He is choosing to let this disease win and throw his family away. If he had cancer and just let the cancer eat him and didn't get chemo, I would feel the same way. How do you just give up on life? Not my concern anymore...need to post on here because I don't have an Alanon meeting until tonight. I don't want to e-mail, call or text because the simple fact is he wouldn't be receptive anyway. I gave my all, mind, body and soul and worked through this for over 2 years of on/off separation counseling, therapy, anger management, and I finally have some clarity. I am going to meetings, counseling, going to school again and thriving and I will not let him bring me down anymore. I love him and always will but I will love him from a distance and hope for the best. I am worth more than what he gives me. I really have to just pretend he is dead and grieve the loss of the man I fell in love with, because he no longer exists.

Pelican

(((Hugs)))

I am glad you are planning to make a meeting tonight. That always helps me.

bonami

sweetteewalls, glad to see you posting, I was wondering how you have been doing. Continuing to send you good thoughts and strength as you try to get through this.