Introducing myself...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 15
Introducing myself...
I registered here last week, but wish I had found this forum years ago. I am the estranged daughter of an alcoholic, step daughter of an alcoholic, and more recently, wife of a RAH.
My husband admitted to me on July 3 that he had been drinking a pint (at least) a day of vodka. He drank some when we were first together, but got sober for a year, which is when I married him. He stayed sober for almost 6 years after that, and during a meeting with his boss in 07, thought he could handle one drink. I figured it out soon after that he had started again. He got sober again and that lasted about 3 months.
For the last 3 1/2 years, he has been hiding that he was drinking again. He was working very long hours, so I attributed the moodiness and exhaustion to that, but occassionally I would question him. The answer of course was always no. 11 days ago, he just had enough of hiding it and admitted that he had been drinking.
He called a friend from church who is also a Christian counselor, and asked for help. Long story short, he is going through a program at church, and is attending every AA meeting he can get to. He admitted to our kids (who had NO clue), and asked for help in front of our congregation. He had a rough few days at first, but has dived into the Word and is telling anyone he knows so that he is accountable to more than just a couple of us. Rule one of the program he is doing is that one drink will land him in a detox facility. If he doesn't go willingly, he has agreed in writing that myself and the counselor can
go before a judge and have him admitted.
I am loving the changes I am seeing. My husband is working towards being the spiritual head of our household and is reading more of the Bible than ever. Of course, while things are going good now, naturally I worry. I pray this time he can beat this thing, and reading these forums has given me a lot of insight into what he is fighting against. I can be thankful that it wasn't like it was for me as a kid. He has never been violent or a danger to us, and our kids never had to see the effects of it on him. He never drank around the kids or when they were awake. But what they ARE seeing now is a man who can admit his mistakes and his weakness and who is trying to better himself.
If you all could send some prayers/good thoughts our way, they would be much appreciated.
My husband admitted to me on July 3 that he had been drinking a pint (at least) a day of vodka. He drank some when we were first together, but got sober for a year, which is when I married him. He stayed sober for almost 6 years after that, and during a meeting with his boss in 07, thought he could handle one drink. I figured it out soon after that he had started again. He got sober again and that lasted about 3 months.
For the last 3 1/2 years, he has been hiding that he was drinking again. He was working very long hours, so I attributed the moodiness and exhaustion to that, but occassionally I would question him. The answer of course was always no. 11 days ago, he just had enough of hiding it and admitted that he had been drinking.
He called a friend from church who is also a Christian counselor, and asked for help. Long story short, he is going through a program at church, and is attending every AA meeting he can get to. He admitted to our kids (who had NO clue), and asked for help in front of our congregation. He had a rough few days at first, but has dived into the Word and is telling anyone he knows so that he is accountable to more than just a couple of us. Rule one of the program he is doing is that one drink will land him in a detox facility. If he doesn't go willingly, he has agreed in writing that myself and the counselor can
go before a judge and have him admitted.
I am loving the changes I am seeing. My husband is working towards being the spiritual head of our household and is reading more of the Bible than ever. Of course, while things are going good now, naturally I worry. I pray this time he can beat this thing, and reading these forums has given me a lot of insight into what he is fighting against. I can be thankful that it wasn't like it was for me as a kid. He has never been violent or a danger to us, and our kids never had to see the effects of it on him. He never drank around the kids or when they were awake. But what they ARE seeing now is a man who can admit his mistakes and his weakness and who is trying to better himself.
If you all could send some prayers/good thoughts our way, they would be much appreciated.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 51
I will be sending prayers your way, so proud of your husband, that took a lot of courage for him to do it that way. I hope and pray he succeeds. My AH just stopped drinking last week, today is day 7 for him, I feel as though I have been holding my breath for a week now. And doing a lot of praying.
He has not said out right he is quitting just every evening that he has had another alcohol free day, so I have not said anything about it. just trying to be as understanding and encouraging as I can be.
Prayers that they both can beat this horrible disease.
He has not said out right he is quitting just every evening that he has had another alcohol free day, so I have not said anything about it. just trying to be as understanding and encouraging as I can be.
Prayers that they both can beat this horrible disease.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 15
I will definitely keep you and yours in my prayers too. My husband said he was just tired of how much work it took to hide it. He is seeing how the kids are loving him taking charge spiritually, and a couple nights when he has finished bible study with them, all he can say is WOW. 
I know what you mean about being encouraging. I am trying to keep seeing the positive changes and not worrying so much.
I know what you mean about being encouraging. I am trying to keep seeing the positive changes and not worrying so much.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 51
I am trying not to worry too, I started Al-Anon last month and have really gotten so much out of the meetings. I am trying to take it one day at a time and my toughest is "Let Go and Let God"
I get so much from this forum too, when I have felt down or forgot my tools I have learnt I come here and read and it helps me work things out.
Glad you found us.
Rose
I get so much from this forum too, when I have felt down or forgot my tools I have learnt I come here and read and it helps me work things out.
Glad you found us.
Rose
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Welcome to SR, Hopeful. Your story sounds awesome - in the sense that your husband sought recovery on his own and seems to be making a strong commitment to it so far. Keep us posted, and take good care! Prayers coming your way from me...
~T
~T
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: California
Posts: 63
Can we trade husbands?...I'm only kidding. I hope everything works out for you. It took a lot for him to admit to EVERYONE that he needed help and it sounds like he has a great support network in place. My prayers go to you and your family and you all venture down the difficult road of recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 15
Thanks everyone. I hate that it too 13 years to get here, but I hope with everything I have that the positive changes will make him see what sober life is like. This is the first time he has wanted to stop, without being caught first.
I hate that it too 13 years to get here, but I hope with everything I have that the positive changes will make him see what sober life is like. This is the first time he has wanted to stop, without being caught first.
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