She's Back
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 673
She's Back
Hello Dear F&F's!
It's been about a year since I was here, and I'm back. Wish I could say I had stuck around through the good, the bad and the ugly. Looking back, I dropped out of this wonderful forum when I got back with my AH. It's been a rough ride.
Got an email from my Mum today that made me think of you all. Here is what she wrote...
That's the most simple and eloquent version of a description of an alcoholic and a codependent that I've read in a long while. Mom's the best.
Anyway... I wanted to drop in and say HI and share something worth while before I dump yucky stuff on y'all.
Hugs,
Tigger
It's been about a year since I was here, and I'm back. Wish I could say I had stuck around through the good, the bad and the ugly. Looking back, I dropped out of this wonderful forum when I got back with my AH. It's been a rough ride.
Got an email from my Mum today that made me think of you all. Here is what she wrote...
Drinking alcoholically makes people insane. No matter how smart a person is, if he is drinking, his thinking is distorted. That’s a given. And even if he stops drinking, he probably won’t be able to think straight for a long time. The AA program helps the drinker to look honestly at himself, and to take responsibility. It gives him “a manual” for living a good life, and, as Andy says, “to seek to live in a way that he thinks will be pleasing to God.”
As you know, the person married to an alcoholic has to look honestly at herself, too. If you choose to argue with him (and that is a choice) it makes you crazy, too. But you've discovered that.
The alcoholic may tell you he drinks because of a long list of reasons but none of them are valid; he drinks because he is an alcoholic. It’s that simple. The reasons why a person marries an active alcoholic, or why she stays married to him are much more complicated, and it often takes skillful counseling to uncover. Al Anon and open AA meetings can be of great help, too.
My constant love and prayers are with you.
Mum
As you know, the person married to an alcoholic has to look honestly at herself, too. If you choose to argue with him (and that is a choice) it makes you crazy, too. But you've discovered that.
The alcoholic may tell you he drinks because of a long list of reasons but none of them are valid; he drinks because he is an alcoholic. It’s that simple. The reasons why a person marries an active alcoholic, or why she stays married to him are much more complicated, and it often takes skillful counseling to uncover. Al Anon and open AA meetings can be of great help, too.
My constant love and prayers are with you.
Mum
Anyway... I wanted to drop in and say HI and share something worth while before I dump yucky stuff on y'all.
Hugs,
Tigger
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
Hiya Tig!
You are so unbelievably fortunate to have a mom who "gets it." If you look in the dictionary under codependent, you will find a picture of my mom, lol. I've had to limit contact with her periodically throughout my adult life because she is nearly as crazy-making as engaging with an alcoholic!
Sorry to hear you have yucky stuff in your life again, but as you know, this is THE place to dump it.
L
You are so unbelievably fortunate to have a mom who "gets it." If you look in the dictionary under codependent, you will find a picture of my mom, lol. I've had to limit contact with her periodically throughout my adult life because she is nearly as crazy-making as engaging with an alcoholic!
Sorry to hear you have yucky stuff in your life again, but as you know, this is THE place to dump it.
L
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 390
The reasons why a person marries an active alcoholic, or why she stays married to him are much more complicated, and it often takes skillful counseling to uncover.
Wow, did I need to read this! Thanks so much for sharing your mom's incredible insight. I have not really begun to unravel the "whys" for myself. I hope I can take this advice and run with it. I think it holds a lot of weight!
Wow, did I need to read this! Thanks so much for sharing your mom's incredible insight. I have not really begun to unravel the "whys" for myself. I hope I can take this advice and run with it. I think it holds a lot of weight!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
