Hello, I am a newby!
Englishrose70
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 190
Hello, I am a newby!
Hello once again I decided to curb the amount of alcohol I drink. I can easily put away 2 bottles of white wine a night and function the next day.
Or at least I believe I am functioning. Feeling tired and lethargic have become a normal state most of the time and yet I am a bright, bubbly intelligent lady and I know deep down of course it's not normal.
After a week of heavy drinking on holiday with my husband and a weekend of heavy drinking with heavy drinking friends, I am feeling scared, this cant go on. I only drink wine not spirits and so I have used that as an excuse.
The night sweats I put down to maybe onset of hormones, I am 41. My increasing tolerance scares me.
Yesterday I didnt touch a drop, last night I had mammoth night sweats and horrific dreams. Today I am clammy and fuzzy headed. I really want to crack this. It has crept up stealthily over the past 10 years all kicked off by my divorce and becoming friends with those already dependant on alcohol.
Convinced my night sweats were alcohol induced I googled it and found this site. my instincts were right. I knew that really.
My current husband works away during the week and so I know I comfort drink for his absence. He also has a problem I think but I dont feel placed to address that with him when I need to address myself. He drinks with me at the weekends giving me the excuse to carry on.
Any of my friends would be amazed to know this. I look younger than my age, I am slim, I dress nicely, have my own business and keep a lovely house. How do you look so healthy I am often asked? I feel sick, if only they knew. I can only put it down to good genes as my Father never looked his age. I feel a fraud and a failure. If only they knew.
I am sick of feeling like this. I believe this forum will be so helpful, so many of you sound just like me.
Sorry for rambling on.
Or at least I believe I am functioning. Feeling tired and lethargic have become a normal state most of the time and yet I am a bright, bubbly intelligent lady and I know deep down of course it's not normal.
After a week of heavy drinking on holiday with my husband and a weekend of heavy drinking with heavy drinking friends, I am feeling scared, this cant go on. I only drink wine not spirits and so I have used that as an excuse.
The night sweats I put down to maybe onset of hormones, I am 41. My increasing tolerance scares me.
Yesterday I didnt touch a drop, last night I had mammoth night sweats and horrific dreams. Today I am clammy and fuzzy headed. I really want to crack this. It has crept up stealthily over the past 10 years all kicked off by my divorce and becoming friends with those already dependant on alcohol.
Convinced my night sweats were alcohol induced I googled it and found this site. my instincts were right. I knew that really.
My current husband works away during the week and so I know I comfort drink for his absence. He also has a problem I think but I dont feel placed to address that with him when I need to address myself. He drinks with me at the weekends giving me the excuse to carry on.
Any of my friends would be amazed to know this. I look younger than my age, I am slim, I dress nicely, have my own business and keep a lovely house. How do you look so healthy I am often asked? I feel sick, if only they knew. I can only put it down to good genes as my Father never looked his age. I feel a fraud and a failure. If only they knew.
I am sick of feeling like this. I believe this forum will be so helpful, so many of you sound just like me.
Sorry for rambling on.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: MI
Posts: 720
Wow English - you sound very familiar to me. Welcome!
There are many great people here that you will find comfort in. You will relate to every one in some way. We all want the same thing.
I, too, keep a very neat place, I'm in good shape, always on the go. But, would resort to diving into a bottle of Crown Royal on too many occasions. My tolerance was getting up there. If an average drinker had what I was taken in, they'd be sick and passed out. It wasn't so much every night, but I was drinking every day and too much on a regular basis. I determined I was an alcoholic. My hubby actually is, too, but on beer. Did not damage our relationship, my work life, or anything. Just couldn't seem to put the bottle down. So, I, too, decided it was time and found this forum. I can't believe it's been 19 days, and I have no urge to touch it again. I did suffer a number of headaches in the beginning, but it does get better. I've already recognized many of the triggers that caused me to drink, and with the help of others here, learned how to get around them. I sleep great, and appreciate things more. And I know with this I will only get stronger and healthier.
When I told my hubby I was an alcoholic (after one week of not drinking), he said "no you're not". Then I explained how bad it was getting, and he felt horrible for not noticing. Since then he is on 11 of no drinking. He has been very supportive. When I told him, I said this is about "me" right now, but some things I might bring up will involve you, but what you decide to do with it is your choice. I was shocked when he joined in on the journey with me.
We are going to be grandparents by November (my hubby is my second and is 51...it's my step-daughter), so it's even more the reason to become sober.
Keep reading here, keep posting, and stay strong. Each day, you get stronger. Even with those nasty headaches I had, they were reminders of what I did to myself with alcohol.
No such thing as rambling here. We do not judge. We give opinions, and how you choose to use them is good with us.
Welcome and be well!
There are many great people here that you will find comfort in. You will relate to every one in some way. We all want the same thing.
I, too, keep a very neat place, I'm in good shape, always on the go. But, would resort to diving into a bottle of Crown Royal on too many occasions. My tolerance was getting up there. If an average drinker had what I was taken in, they'd be sick and passed out. It wasn't so much every night, but I was drinking every day and too much on a regular basis. I determined I was an alcoholic. My hubby actually is, too, but on beer. Did not damage our relationship, my work life, or anything. Just couldn't seem to put the bottle down. So, I, too, decided it was time and found this forum. I can't believe it's been 19 days, and I have no urge to touch it again. I did suffer a number of headaches in the beginning, but it does get better. I've already recognized many of the triggers that caused me to drink, and with the help of others here, learned how to get around them. I sleep great, and appreciate things more. And I know with this I will only get stronger and healthier.
When I told my hubby I was an alcoholic (after one week of not drinking), he said "no you're not". Then I explained how bad it was getting, and he felt horrible for not noticing. Since then he is on 11 of no drinking. He has been very supportive. When I told him, I said this is about "me" right now, but some things I might bring up will involve you, but what you decide to do with it is your choice. I was shocked when he joined in on the journey with me.
We are going to be grandparents by November (my hubby is my second and is 51...it's my step-daughter), so it's even more the reason to become sober.
Keep reading here, keep posting, and stay strong. Each day, you get stronger. Even with those nasty headaches I had, they were reminders of what I did to myself with alcohol.
No such thing as rambling here. We do not judge. We give opinions, and how you choose to use them is good with us.
Welcome and be well!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 426
Hi EnglishRose, welcome!
I identified with much of your description of yourself. I am alone most of the week due to a husband that travels and wine was my companion for some time. I'm 39 and used to thing I had it all together, but that started falling apart as I started drinking more and more throughout the day and becoming more and more depressed.
When my husband was home (primarily just weekends) we enjoyed wine with lunch, with dinner, by the pool, pretty much all the time. But when he left, it was just me drinking alone and digging myself deeper in a hole.
I haven't had a drink for over a month now, and I'm feeling much better. It was hard to cut the ties at first and I still have moments here and there - but it has been a positive step in my life. My husband drinks less - says he doesn't really enjoy it like he used to - I have more time and energy to live my life instead of endure it. And waking up with no hangover after a great night of sleep is glorious.
This forum has been tremendous for me and I know that you will find a ton of support and insight if you stick around!!
I identified with much of your description of yourself. I am alone most of the week due to a husband that travels and wine was my companion for some time. I'm 39 and used to thing I had it all together, but that started falling apart as I started drinking more and more throughout the day and becoming more and more depressed.
When my husband was home (primarily just weekends) we enjoyed wine with lunch, with dinner, by the pool, pretty much all the time. But when he left, it was just me drinking alone and digging myself deeper in a hole.
I haven't had a drink for over a month now, and I'm feeling much better. It was hard to cut the ties at first and I still have moments here and there - but it has been a positive step in my life. My husband drinks less - says he doesn't really enjoy it like he used to - I have more time and energy to live my life instead of endure it. And waking up with no hangover after a great night of sleep is glorious.
This forum has been tremendous for me and I know that you will find a ton of support and insight if you stick around!!
Englishrose70
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 190
Wow thank you for your support
Thank you so much Buelah and Bratnik for your prompt and helpful replies. It is so comforting to know there are people just like me.
The guilt, anxiety and feelings of being a fraud with my "secret" has been appalling and like your husband Bratnik I have tried to tell him I believe I am drinking too much and he insists I am not.
You see as your tolerance gets higher you can appear to be sober and functiion even when you are not and when you wake up after a skinful feeling flaky but NO hangover then thats got to be a problem.
I am quite sure he does not realise how much I have been drinking in his absence so only I can take control. I have a good life, everything to live for and so much I want to do and achieve. Its incredulous to me really the power of this drug that deludes very intelligent, capable people into damaging themselves so badly.
Thank you so much for your support and I hope to be able to offer the same and well done to you both 19 days and a month? Wow I havent achieved that in 5 years or more!
The guilt, anxiety and feelings of being a fraud with my "secret" has been appalling and like your husband Bratnik I have tried to tell him I believe I am drinking too much and he insists I am not.
You see as your tolerance gets higher you can appear to be sober and functiion even when you are not and when you wake up after a skinful feeling flaky but NO hangover then thats got to be a problem.
I am quite sure he does not realise how much I have been drinking in his absence so only I can take control. I have a good life, everything to live for and so much I want to do and achieve. Its incredulous to me really the power of this drug that deludes very intelligent, capable people into damaging themselves so badly.
Thank you so much for your support and I hope to be able to offer the same and well done to you both 19 days and a month? Wow I havent achieved that in 5 years or more!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 426
You have two good friends here with Beulah and I. We go way back.... 
We post on the June thread - I encourage you to post in the July thread and get on board with people who made the same great decision you did this month! And of course, I'll be here for you. There is so much support with no judgement here. It's liberating.
My husband DID know that I had a problem (I think you were referring to Beulah) - what makes it so bad is that he didn't even know HOW much of a problem I had while he was away and I was drinking alone! The guilt, shame, depression, anxiety, hopelessness, will subside once you get the alcohol out of your system. It's a much better way to live. He and I still really haven't had the "talk" about my drinking alone - we probably will some day when I feel confident enough with my sobriety. I'm still real new and don't want to get him stressed out. I decided to go on a "detox" - bought a 2 week plan from GNC (I wonder if it helped with withdrawals, I surprisingly had none - but everyone is different) and told him that I felt so good from not drinking that I was just going to continue with it. Our relationship is alot better - no fighting, no secrecy, no hiding bottles. And I am more comfortable in my own skin which must make me a better partner.
You can do this! Our situations are very similar - I'm around. Give it your best and you will see that things do get much better when ya kick that demon to the curb!
We post on the June thread - I encourage you to post in the July thread and get on board with people who made the same great decision you did this month! And of course, I'll be here for you. There is so much support with no judgement here. It's liberating.My husband DID know that I had a problem (I think you were referring to Beulah) - what makes it so bad is that he didn't even know HOW much of a problem I had while he was away and I was drinking alone! The guilt, shame, depression, anxiety, hopelessness, will subside once you get the alcohol out of your system. It's a much better way to live. He and I still really haven't had the "talk" about my drinking alone - we probably will some day when I feel confident enough with my sobriety. I'm still real new and don't want to get him stressed out. I decided to go on a "detox" - bought a 2 week plan from GNC (I wonder if it helped with withdrawals, I surprisingly had none - but everyone is different) and told him that I felt so good from not drinking that I was just going to continue with it. Our relationship is alot better - no fighting, no secrecy, no hiding bottles. And I am more comfortable in my own skin which must make me a better partner.
You can do this! Our situations are very similar - I'm around. Give it your best and you will see that things do get much better when ya kick that demon to the curb!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,474
Hi Englishrose,
I, too, was able to hide my drinking from most of the people around me. I managed to carry on for the most part and looked fine too, but towards the end of my drinking days I became increasingly isolated. My husband travels a lot and I found the habit of drinking, mostly when he was away, and trying to hide it. Again, by the end of my drinking days, it became an exhausting job because I was having trouble remember what I said or who I called on the phone. Stopping drinking was a huge relief.
I hope you keep reading and posting.
I, too, was able to hide my drinking from most of the people around me. I managed to carry on for the most part and looked fine too, but towards the end of my drinking days I became increasingly isolated. My husband travels a lot and I found the habit of drinking, mostly when he was away, and trying to hide it. Again, by the end of my drinking days, it became an exhausting job because I was having trouble remember what I said or who I called on the phone. Stopping drinking was a huge relief.
I hope you keep reading and posting.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: MI
Posts: 720
It is really scary that we can drink so much without people knowing. My husband had no clue when he'd come home that I already hit the bottle a few times. I'd still function. A functioning alcoholic I guess you could say. But, I always woke up feeling disgusted with my drinking. Wondering why I felt the need. My life was good for the most part. But, I'd go right back at it the next day. It is sad how alcoholism is not prejudice...it will take any one it wants.
But, Bratnik is right...things definitely improve. The fighting with my hubby has subsided. We hug more, laugh more, and have gone back to talking more. We still disagree on things, and I have learned to back off, but before I wouldn't due to being intoxicated, and it got me nowhere. I definitely don't miss hiding bottles. As she mentioned, check out the July class and join in with them on their journey. And if you want, you can check us out on the June class as well....very positive people there. You can really see the progress from part 1 to part 3 with the group.
There are a lot of fun-loving people here who want to kick this in the butt. No fears, no worries, just post what you want. We laugh at ourselves, I think more than ever. We cry when we feel each other's pain. But, the key is you are not alone. Shows you how all over the world, we all battle this same disease.
But, Bratnik is right...things definitely improve. The fighting with my hubby has subsided. We hug more, laugh more, and have gone back to talking more. We still disagree on things, and I have learned to back off, but before I wouldn't due to being intoxicated, and it got me nowhere. I definitely don't miss hiding bottles. As she mentioned, check out the July class and join in with them on their journey. And if you want, you can check us out on the June class as well....very positive people there. You can really see the progress from part 1 to part 3 with the group.
There are a lot of fun-loving people here who want to kick this in the butt. No fears, no worries, just post what you want. We laugh at ourselves, I think more than ever. We cry when we feel each other's pain. But, the key is you are not alone. Shows you how all over the world, we all battle this same disease.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Welcome, EnglishRose... your story sounds somewhat similar to mine. I easily put away 2 bottles of wine at night... and felt like a fraud and failure, hiding it from others. You've described it well! Glad you're here
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Surrey Uk
Posts: 42
Hi englishose , you are in the right place, this place has many inspirational posters/posts I like you am in early days, the problem only gets worse if it is not addressed its that simple !
Keep posting/reading.
Keep posting/reading.
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