The holidays...vent
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 5
The holidays...vent
This is kind of long but I just need to let it out! Usually I can deal with holiday stress pretty well and I have lots of boundaries to protect myself from manipulation, but this year I just feel like I'm getting pulled every which way!
It's my first Thanksgiving in Texas (instead of Ohio), so my mom (prescription drug addict, co-dependent, I could go on and on and on) is calling every few days to remind me how she'll be eating a tv dinner this year as my 2 other siblings aren't having her to dinner or going to her house. Also calling just to let me know I could have came home for the holidays, with no regard to my financial situation and no thought that just maybe I am homesick and would love to come home but can't.
On top of that, my aunt lives here in Texas. She and my uncle and my 2 cousins are the only family I have within a thousand miles. She's my alcoholic father's sister and I swear to god she's a dry drunk. She's very negative yet at the same time often nice. But she always belittles you and her children or her family have always done something betteer than you have. She has an unreasonable temper and expects everyone to tiptoe around her.
She's just taken over my holidays. I've made Thanksgiving dinner for myself for the last 11 years and now it's just assumed that I'll turn the holiday over to her when honestly I'd rather it just be my husband and my dog and me, watching the parade, eating and relaxing. But I don't want to hurt her feelings. She has this way of turning any percieved slight into this huge issue and I don't want the hassle.
But then she called me yesterday to tell me that she had a great idea - I'm having everyone over for Christmas Eve!
I just spent last night crying. I don't feel like I have the strength to set boundaries with yet another inappropriate person in my life. Frankly, my parents wore me out; that's why I moved 1400 miles away! Maybe I need to head farther west.
It's my first Thanksgiving in Texas (instead of Ohio), so my mom (prescription drug addict, co-dependent, I could go on and on and on) is calling every few days to remind me how she'll be eating a tv dinner this year as my 2 other siblings aren't having her to dinner or going to her house. Also calling just to let me know I could have came home for the holidays, with no regard to my financial situation and no thought that just maybe I am homesick and would love to come home but can't.
On top of that, my aunt lives here in Texas. She and my uncle and my 2 cousins are the only family I have within a thousand miles. She's my alcoholic father's sister and I swear to god she's a dry drunk. She's very negative yet at the same time often nice. But she always belittles you and her children or her family have always done something betteer than you have. She has an unreasonable temper and expects everyone to tiptoe around her.
She's just taken over my holidays. I've made Thanksgiving dinner for myself for the last 11 years and now it's just assumed that I'll turn the holiday over to her when honestly I'd rather it just be my husband and my dog and me, watching the parade, eating and relaxing. But I don't want to hurt her feelings. She has this way of turning any percieved slight into this huge issue and I don't want the hassle.
But then she called me yesterday to tell me that she had a great idea - I'm having everyone over for Christmas Eve!
I just spent last night crying. I don't feel like I have the strength to set boundaries with yet another inappropriate person in my life. Frankly, my parents wore me out; that's why I moved 1400 miles away! Maybe I need to head farther west.
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Gilbert,
This year my husband and I are breaking tradition for the first time in the over 20 years that we have been married. Dinner is at his sister's and we cannot stand her OR her husband. We lied, of course, and said we were celebrating with my family this year to avoid hurting feelings. It just isn't worth putting up with them in their own home. So we are going to a restaurant. Saturday we will cook for ourselves and our grandson.
My feeling is that it is my holiday too and short of stomping on anothers feeling I will try to have a day that I can enjoy. There are some people we can't make happy so I do the best I can and let it go.
Hugs,
JT
This year my husband and I are breaking tradition for the first time in the over 20 years that we have been married. Dinner is at his sister's and we cannot stand her OR her husband. We lied, of course, and said we were celebrating with my family this year to avoid hurting feelings. It just isn't worth putting up with them in their own home. So we are going to a restaurant. Saturday we will cook for ourselves and our grandson.
My feeling is that it is my holiday too and short of stomping on anothers feeling I will try to have a day that I can enjoy. There are some people we can't make happy so I do the best I can and let it go.
Hugs,
JT
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