gforecoveringca

Well I am so sick of all the lies and heartbreak that my abf has told me. I could move on w my life and avoid him getting his children more attached especially our newborn if he would j tell me that he loves the drug more than us and that hes not gonna quit. why tell me how much your in love w me and you want to be a family and quit the drugs anyways not exactly on topic! I am trying one last attempt to save my family . We are moving . He has begged for us to find somewhere out of town so since I hate the city and miss living in the country and j happened to have a great opportunity fall in my lap I've decided to take it ! My gmas rental will be open soon and it has a huge yard land goes back to the creek fenced in yard for my animals and the best part is its in front of my Gma she can keep an due on the kids while I'm at wrk nd I can keep an eye on her! It's not,a long way from our house now but 30 min is better than nothing . I know its foolish to think that it will,change but at least ill be in a better place when it blows up in my face its crazy after all tjs h*ll he has put me through I'm scared to death yo lose him I love that man ao much and there's nothing I can do to fix him . I have been w him for 6 years that's almost a 3rd of my life we have two kids together I know I can )e strong for thwm but I feel like its my responsibilty to be there for the man I love but I honestly do belive that if this fails im j throwing in my towel .

dollydo

He is an addict, an addict NEVER tells the truth. His mistress is drugs, his priorty is drugs.
An addict will manipulate anyone and everyone, it is part of the disease.

You have made your choice, and as an adult, that is your option. However, my concern is for your children, they hear and see everything. Their brain center for fight/flight/freeze response is fully functional at birth. That means that a baby is capable of a full blown trauma response. They have no way of understanding of what is going on around them. Trauma in childhood can seriously impact their development and have effects that linger on throughout adulthood.

I am a product of a alcoholic home, I still bear the scars today. To be honest, I resent having been exposed to that toxic enviorment.

I sincerely hope that everything works out fine for you.

Freedom1990

The problem with moving is he takes himself wherever he goes.

I've never known a geographical 'cure' to work.

Kindeyes

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that moving may not change anything but it may put you in a better place should things blow up on you.

gentle hugs
ke

outtolunch

That's your codependency talking. You have no responsibility to be there for someone who lies and steals from you and your children.

Being there is a choice, your choice and involvement in all of this.
Is putting an addict before the best interests of your children the best choice? Geography does not cure addiction.