Serenity8

I had posted here with concerns about my boyfriend's drinking in December. Well, now we are 15 months in and I am trying to end it. He really let me down 3 times in the last few months, all alcohol-related. The last time, in front of my kids, which totally ups the anger and the reason why I need to just separate myself from him.

I know he is hurting, I know I am hurting. But I can't go back. I can only go forward. Now that he was sloppy drunk in front of my kids, I am so angry I could spit. After having conversations with him for the last month about how I don't want to be around him when he drinks.

He knows he screwed up, but still thinks he can control his alcohol. He can't. I know how very badly he wants to be a social drinker. Heck, *I* want him to be able to be a social drinker. But he can't, he's powerless but doesn't recognize it yet. I know *I'M* powerless which is why I'm trying to step away, despite my very deep love for him, despite all the other good and wonderful things that come along with him.

I don't even want to tell my kids we broke up, it's not like they saw him every day, sometimes it would be over a month before they would see him since we would see each other on the weekends they were with their dad, or after they were asleep. I feel so badly that I dragged them through a divorce from their angry, addicted father and now they've grown close to someone else in the last year. I'll wait a few weeks/months and see if they even ask where he's been. They asked for him this weekend and I just said he was busy.

I keep praying for strength. To stick to this boundary, because we keep having the same conversation over and over again and I'm done having it.

Freedom1990

I'd be livid to have someone drunk in front of kids still at home, seriously.

I think your anger is perfectly normal, and you can use that anger constructively to propel yourself forward.

He's going to do what he's going to do. That's obvious.

Take good care of yourself and the kiddos! :ghug3

Serenity8

It was a July 4th BBQ at his parents' house, and it only got bad the last half hour. I stayed because my kids wanted to see the fireworks but made a hasty exit as soon as they were over and he was upset and yelled at me in front of my kids. They were pretty oblivious to most of it but still... I am DONE trying to act like he can control this. He can't.

kittykitty

When you're done, you're done. I know the feeling. The last (and final) time I left my abf was short and sweet. I wouldn't even sit down with him and talk about it, explain why I was leaving. I too didn't want to have the same conversation again, like we had had so many times before.

You are doing the right thing. You have alot of life and adventure ahead of you, leave the anchor of an alcoholic who doesn't want help behind you, and sail forward.

blueblooms14

Stay strong and don't buy any ploy he tries.
I had to go steel-door No Contact eventually because my ex just kept at me- mean, nice, you name it.
You know it's great that you are doing this for both you and your family.
Thank heavens for that mama bear we have inside.

marie1960

So sorry to hear what you are going thru. Hope you find peace now that you made the decision to move forward with your life. As far as the kiddo's go I think the less said the better. I know it's hard to sound casual when you are hurting, the kids only want to know that they are safe and loved . A simple, uncomplicated response is all that is needed. Details are not necessary. Wish you all the best. Stay strong and focused on you and your kiddos